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@eternallyitson
Well I wish there was someone Well I wish there was someone to love me When I used to be someone and I knew there was someone that loved me as I sit here frozen alone even ghosts get tired and go home as they crawl back under the stones
Still one of my favorite KoЯn Songs.
1/19/2023
This is the sound of my life right now. The words and the way it sounds just feels so desolate and lonely. That’s where I feel like I am. Life feels so far away from me.
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You can’t see I’m torn away from you, and everything that’s close, to me
I cannot face the truth, it’s nothing that, I believe
Just run away from me and thank me when you’re free, from me
Come take me
Come take me
Come take me
Come take me
Come take me
Come take me
Come take me
Come take me
Come take me
I don’t ever wanna let you go, because when the smoke clears you’ll still be here, through the pain and the tears, all these years…
My mama keep calling me every hour because she know I’ll do it, I’ll put that 9 right into my mouth, close my eyes and shoot it
If we haven’t talked in a long time, and you don’t reach out to me first, we will never talk again. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’m too in my own head about it and I feel the reason we haven’t talked is because you don’t want to talk to me anymore, and no matter how much I wish we were talking, I feel like I’m unwelcome, so I just can’t bring myself to reach out first. It’s a mental hurdle I just can’t get over, but wish I could. 💔
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Batteries can be replaced, but some things stay the same. No matter how we twist and turn, we're still dancing in chains.
Goodbye cruel world, I’m leaving you today
Goodbye goodbye goodbye
Goodbye all you people, there’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind
Goodbye
I need you
1/19/2023
I CANT FUCKING STAND THIS ANYMRPE I HAVE PANIC ARTSCKS EVERY DAY AND EVEEH DAY I FEEL. WORSE THAN THE DAY BEFORE I HAVENT EATEN INHAVENT SLEPT I HIDE IN PRIVACY BSCSUSE I CANT HOLD IT TOGETHER IN FROMT OF PEOPLE ALL I DO IS SHAKE AND CRY ITS SO HARD TO CONTAIN MY SCREAMS I HATW MYSELF I HATE MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS PLEASE GOD KILL ME LET ME DIE GOD PLEASE SJSJSJJSSJSJSJFBDBDBDHDHDNDN FUCKING KILL ME
I want to say thank you to all of my “friends”. Thank you for not being there when I needed you. Thank you for just watching me breakdown and deteriorate. Thank you for letting it be with no concern even when you knew about it. Thank you for not seeming to care much that I was suffering. Thank you for being unbothered when you knew specifically that I wanted to kill myself. Thank you for not even one single fucking time even bothering to check on me or make sure I was okay or even still around. Thank you for being a good friend.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Consider everything from this point onward to be my self destruction 😈
Well I’m blocked, the only line of communication left is no more. I guess that means she’s gone now. If I felt lonely before, I feel completely deserted now. I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I won’t hear from her ever again. I hope I’m wrong. But I’m probably not. I’m all too familiar with having my heart broken and being abandoned by the person who broke it. I never hear from them again. That’s how it always goes. Well, if nothing, now I know she isn’t here now and won’t be seeing what I post, I can now post some of the more harsh things I filtered out to keep from worrying her anymore than I already was.
EDIT 1: I’m sure it’s coming off like I’m an overly depressing wreck who just won’t shut up about it. But if you knew my position, you’d get it. It’s almost surreal. I thought I was done with this. I really believed I was done with devastating heartbreaks. I really thought it was all behind me. And after many years, here it is all over again. It’s making me fucking mental. It feels like if you’re playing a video game, and you keep dying at the same part over and over and over again. You got a checkpoint right before the spot you keep dying, so you keep respawning there and just keep dying until you just start to lose it. But then you get it, you finally get passed that part, you have “YES!” moment, and proceed with the level. Only to die again right at the end of the level, and you get sent all the way back to that previous check point. It’s just maddening.
EDIT 2: I’m definitely aware I’m mostly just talking to myself at this point. But I’m passed the point of caring.
Francisco Goitia
The Witch, 1916
Oil on canvas
39x33 cm
IM BLEEDING🩸🩸🩸🩸
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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⚠️
God I can’t take this. Not anymore. Not again. It is just too much this time around. I can’t handle it. I need to do something right now.
