nani the fuck

What if you went to a parallel universe and were going to meet your evil self but the version of you there is actually really nice and you’re the asshole

#i dont need to go to an alternate universe to know that im the asshole

Okay tell me straight up is the zombie dude from fallout 4 that everyone wants to bang ACTUALLY john hancock the founding father or is that just his name because I have some concerns

it’s just his name

Oh thank god

he stole the real hancock’s clothes

oh my god

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

had a dream obama and the guy who plays air guitar at the mall were about to fight and obama said “ violence for violence is the rule of beasts “ and i woke up because that was the rawest shit i ever heard

After gaining the ability to see everyone’s red strings of fate tying soul mates to each other. You realize your string extends past the sky.

somebody’s gonna fuck an alien you guys!!!

or possibly the moon!!!

*sensually unbuckles orion’s belt*