AS I ERODE:

❝ still wake up every morning still feeling like i got hit by a bus. ❞   ❝ i need you to listen to me very carefully. ❞   ❝ what’s the worst that could happen? ❞   ❝ you look scared. ❞   ❝ every time i learn something new about you, i think, “that’s it. there can’t possibly be any secrets left between us.” ❞     ❝ do you want to know the truth? there’s chaos in you. ❞   ❝ darkness. sometimes it hides in our very hearts. ❞   ❝ it’s like we’re in heaven. ❞   ❝ call me sentimental, but i worry about you. ❞   ❝ you were nothing more than a corpse when i found you. ❞   ❝ you’re a liar. i don’t believe you. i don’t trust you. ❞   ❝ tell me what it is you are. what are you? ❞   ❝ you know i’ll protect you with everything i have. ❞   ❝ it’s like i’ve not known you at all. ❞ ❝ oh, god. is that fresh blood? ❞ ❝ i don’t need protection. what i need is honesty. ❞ ❝ i need you to keep an eye out, because i’m being followed. ❞   ❝ this has to be a dream. this has to be a dream. ❞   ❝ i thought that you were in danger, or kidnapped. ❞   ❝ that thing’s about to break through the door. we’re out of time. ❞   ❝ i didn’t do that on purpose. ❞ ❝ i only punish those who have already done harm. ❞   ❝ this would be a great time for you to say something. anything. ❞   ❝ it’s maddening, isn’t it? the voice in your head. relentless, forever unsatisfied. ❞   ❝ no matter how hard you try to please, it devours you until there’s nothing left but a hollow shell. ❞   ❝ oh, my god. you’re alive. ❞     ❝ i don’t care what you can offer. i don’t trust you. ❞     ❝ do not let the pain of the past control you. ❞   ❝ sometimes we need the cold light of death before we can see reality. ❞   ❝ i’m sorry it had to be this way. ❞   ❝ i’ve heard it all now. ❞   ❝ this doesn’t need to happen. this was all so avoidable. ❞   ❝ i’ve never been able to just talk about everything. ❞   ❝ do you see the spiral you put me through? ❞   ❝ are you asking me out? ❞   ❝ why fight, knowing you will fail? ❞     ❝ tell me to spare you, and i will. ❞     ❝ why do all men like you feel it necessary to be just so condescending? ❞ ❝ not worried you might’ve burned too many bridges? ❞   ❝ you weren’t supposed to see any of this. ❞   ❝ it’s a hard thing, exhuming the pain of the past. it’s easy to get stuck. ❞   ❝ you’re not so innocent anymore, eh? ❞   ❝ there can be no progress without understanding. ❞ ❝ that was a bit over the top, don’t you think? ❞   ❝ just leave it. get out. go away from me. ❞   ❝ time has been cruel to you. ❞   ❝ i can’t believe it worked. ❞     ❝ i can’t believe you live in this mess. ❞     ❝ i survived because i knew i wasn’t alone. ❞     ❝ you’re looking pretty rough. ❞     ❝ i cannot allow you to proceed. ❞         ❝ i feel the pain inside of you. ❞ ❝ you’re lying. you’re just trying to upset me. ❞ ❝ everything reminds me of my past. ❞ ❝ i only punish those who have chosen evil. ❞     ❝ i was supposed to die that night. ❞   ❝ what the hell are you doing here? you shouldn’t be here. ❞   ❝ it’s just you and me, and the open road. ❞   ❝ you can never contain me. i’ll never stop. ❞     ❝ i know i’ve made you angry. i’m sorry. ❞   ❝ you’re in danger, and i can save us. ❞ ❝ i can’t have you interfering in what i have left to do. ❞      

Sibyl, 2019