queen of diamonds

– BLAIR USUALLY DOESN’T LIKE THE FANCY GIRLS. the ones who work at nordstrom or…shop there, with rich parents and their heads held high. she’s not one to start a fight, she just – clashes. but she finds erin more interesting than that, different from the rest. not your average princess – so to speak. she looks like it though, certainly. “ what can i say ? i’m dumber than your average smoker, ” she nods, “ i’ve probably got about thirty, somewhere or another. i’m always putting things down an’ forgetting where i left ‘em. wanna know what’s in my purse ? ” she opens the leather bag, looking down in it. “ about a year’s worth of movie ticket stubs, a sweet pair of mister rogers shoelaces, and a happy meal toy, ” she pauses, “ no, TWO happy meal toys. ” blair holds up two hot wheels cars. and weed, but that goes without saying. “ oh, fuck, i forgot my wallet. ”

wren never liked talking. he always thought it revealed too much about a person. there was no way to avoid being vulnerable when speaking, unless you were lying. and wren, while fantastic at it, hated lying just as much as he hated every other part of himself. he would much rather just avoid people totally, or feel the rough and fast battle for power with a lover. it was just easier that way. less could go wrong. but sometimes wren couldn’t help himself, talking was nice, a comfort even. hearing erin’s laugh always brought a smile to his face, it was a soft and comforting thing, even if they weren’t being so soft, “yeah, but  you like the mullet. can’t keep your hands off of it,” he teased, eyes falling closed as he allowed himself to indulge in her touch. “i think i’ve got a good idea of who you are, and a great idea of who i am, and i just happen to be right about this,” his smile grew wide, his eyes falling to where her bottom lip sat out for him, “you’re so cheesy,” he teased, quickly closing what little distance was between their faces. her lips tasted like nicotine and he was addicted. breathing her in fixed a nicotine craving for the rest of the day, his hands moving smoothly to rest in her back pockets. pulling away, his head resting on her forehead in the dark corner of the mall, illuminated by the glowing red exit sign, smile tugging at his lips, “you’re really fucking distracting, you know that?”

“yeah, yeah, just blame the guy who talks too much and doesn’t think before he speaks. typical. criminal.” newt replies in amusement at erin’s response, eyes warm with his fondness as he glances at her. honestly, it was always fun to muck around with erin like this. newt was pretty sure that they’d known each other long enough that the back and forth was second nature, and sometimes you just needed that. you just needed to not think, and to laugh, and well, that wasn’t all the they did of course. sometimes thing’s weren’t this good. but newt could happily appreciate when they were. he arches a brow at erin’s confident reply, lips curving even as he attempt to stifle his smile with his curious, “oh, is it? well. excuse me. i didn’t realize i was speaking to hilary clinton herself. will you be offering a seminar on how to achieve your level of familial emancipation? will you teach me your ways?” the teasing is gentle because well, newt knows what’s really thinly veiled in those comments and he’s hoping not to disturb too much of it because he’s been there. he understands it. honestly, he’s been striving for his own independence, otherwise known as freedom, from his family for as long as he can remember. he knows that erin’s different, though. that some part of her at least used to want her father’s approval, and newt can only imagine that that’s worse. he hasn’t sought out his parents approval ever, from what he can remember. their love, maybe but, well. he’s honestly even stopped doing that. “oh, i’m sorry i didn’t realize what a privilege i’d been given. my mistake.” newt puts a hand over his heart as he sorrowfully shakes his head, lips twitching as he asks her, “would you like to play that interaction through again and i’ll revise my response? i promise this time i will bring the proper level of excitement to the performance.” newt gives erin a pointed look at her question, shaking his head with a purse of his lips as he says, “… oh come on, erin, you know i’ve never been a big gambler. there are too many variables, i get too anxious about it, it brings back memories of my father’s crippling cat fighting gambling addiction, which can not lead to anything good when combined with my past trauma with chuck e cheese…” newt hopes the joke will distract erin from her goal, but he’s not holding out on it. when erin gets something in her mind newt isn’t sure there’s much anyone can do to stop her from doing it. and even if there was anyone who could, newt isn’t entirely sure it would be him. newt huffs a laugh at erin’s dramatics, eyes crinkling with it as he says, “oh, come on now, erin, this is getting less believable by the seconds. there’s not a person in the world who wouldn’t be able to love you.” newt means it, even if he doesn’t quite expect her to believe it. erin was… a lot, but she was a lot of good for the most part. she would be easy to love. newt should know, he loves her. even if it’s not romantic, it still counts. newt snorts at her retort, shaking with his laughter as he says, “a wig! god, you’d have to get me another beer just to get me into it. you’d have to keep me liquored up until the end of time, erin. is that what you want?” newt asks with an arch of his brow, “to turn me into a drunk all because you can’t stand the sight of my bare scalp?” 

– SHE TAKES THE LIGHTER FROM ERIN for her blunt, but she pauses before she lights anything. she’s sort of pretty in this doe-eyed, conventionally attractive sort of way – blair doesn’t know whether to be turned on or irritated. then she decides that the irritation probably comes from toxic masculinity, so – turned on it is. she takes a drag, positioning herself beside the other girl. she’s not much for small talk, so she doesn’t bother – not until she has something to say, but she’s pretty sure this girl is rich rich. doesn’t her dad own the mall or something ? the sort of girl that totally ignored blair in high school. she’s about to pocket the lighter instinctively, but then she pauses, a bark of laughter escaping her lips. “ ohp, ” she grins sheepishly, “ sorry. i’m guess you probably want this back, too ? ” she teases cheekily.

“yeah, i know, but you could have continued to allow me to live in the dark erin, you didn’t have to pull the wool from over my eyes like this!” newt replies dramatically in return, lips curled as he tries to stifle his laughter. he arches his brows before he’s throwing his arms up in a joking show of frustration as erin points out donald’s very real children. “again, erin, i would like to live in the dark! why do you insist on bursting my bubble like this today? do you plan to drill it into my mind that donald trump has had sexual intercourse?” newt shakes his head at erin’s point, residual amusement keeping the ghost of a smile on his face even as he says, “you only say that because you’ve never walked in on your parents having sex. if you’d experienced that trauma, you would be begging for the sweet bliss of ignorance. some things are just better not to know.” newt gives erin a long look at the question, brows furrowing and eyes narrowing as if really considering the question before he’s ultimately sighing as he teasingly says, “yeah, i’ll win you something i guess… pull my arm why don’t you.” newt honestly wished he had more of a backbone when it came to these things but what reason did he have to say no to erin? he couldn’t think of one honestly. he find a way to get enough tickets to not only get her something to go home with but maybe himself too. that way everyone was happy, and everyone got a souvenir from the grand re-opening. newt is so distracted by his plan that he almost doesn’t catch erin’s, but the moment he does he’s furrowing his brows as he glances at her, replying, “okay, how about you don’t do that. i don’t like that plan. do i get a say in this? because again, not a fan of that plan.” newt knows that at the very least, they’re not in high school anymore. erin is of age and she can technically flirt with whoever she wants. it’s more the idea of erin getting involved with any guy twice her age that newt isn’t the biggest fan of. but honestly it’s not like he can stop her. the thought only makes newt sigh almost tiredly. “oh, you caught me. vicious hair pulling is my ultimate weakness. marry me, marry me now, erin.” the words are jokingly deadpan as newt gives her a fond look, brows furrowing at her question for a moment before he’s replying. “hmm, years of knowing you i’d say. i think that’s all the proof i need.” every once and a while erin would say stuff like this and newt rarely ever took it seriously because it was erin. the same girl who had tried to kiss newt more times than he could count just because drunk. newt shakes his at her words, holding back laughter even as he says, “you know what, maybe i’ll shave it all off. get a buzz, just for you. and i’d also like to point out that you tricking some poor bloke into buying me a beer isn’t the same as you buying me a beer, erin.” 

part of wren wished he had just closed the little space remaining between them. felt the warmth of her lips on his, that always managed to send a wave of fire through him. but he was stubborn, and needed to keep proving himself right. his face leaned in, diminishing even more space between them, “so you’re multifaceted? i’m not so sure you fit that,” he teased, eyes falling to her smile, his own growing to match it, “nope, you got me, i’m the second one, incredibly dense,” teasing was easy, it was a power play. a dance they found themselves often trapped in. wren found it addicting. he needed to come back to it. he needed to come back and have her wrapped around his finger, while falling and wrapping himself around hers. he shouldn’t have moved. but he had. the space now vast between them, compared to before. her bad bitch attitude back up, wren never let it get to him. “compared to some of the shit i’ve seen, babe, you’re a good girl,” his hands moved down to pull her slightly by her belt loops, fingers hooking around them, “you gonna come or not, my dear,” a playful smile tugging at his lips.

open starter.

– HER SHIFT IS IN TEN MINUTES, so…that’s probably adequate time to smoke a joint and chill outside near the dumpster and still arrive right on schedule – which happens to be fifteen minutes late. she pulls the joint out of a tin in her leather purse, fumbling around in the bag for a lighter – nothing. she can see it in her mind now: sitting right on her nightstand next to the ashtray, covered in stickers. fuck. so, she waves down the first person that passes by. 

“ hey-o, ” she greets cheerfully, “ got a light ? ” she waves the joint in the air, rocking it back and forth precariously on her fingertips with confidence. “ i’ll share. ”

kath shot a glance erin’s way; it always astounded her when people didn’t get her sarcasm. kath thought she was hilarious. “they don’t,” kath conceded “i was only joking, erin. i just don’t look like i can afford nordstrom, that’s all.” she smiles at a kid that brings a bunch of tickets, informing them. “you can have anything from the bottom shelf.” she turned back to erin, “but i should go more often; i always thought the salespeople were a little snooty. guess i was wrong.” 

“same,” kit muttered, “i fucking hate kids.” he could never stand to work at a place with so many screaming kids, or at many places at all. hot topic was different; almost everyone who came inside was like him, he could be real with them. he and the customers already had something in common: being punk, music-obsessed weirdos. “human sacrifices,” kit deadpanned, because he can. at her shift in posture, though, kit cocked his head, considering her for a moment before he realized what it looked like she was doing. he leaned forward, opening his mouth to give a single, flat, “ha.” he adds, “you’re barking up the wrong tree. i don’t play for your team.” 

something neither of them could ever admit was how similar they ended up being. how different they were was the easiest thing to see, but the things they shared was something far deeper. not of course that wren would ever think to notice it. that would mean opening himself to far too much danger. to realize exactly why like a moth to a flame, he found himself drawn. his fingers carefully grazed the sides of her face, as he pushed back fallen strands of hair behind her ears, hands remaining to cup her jaw, “when you say things like that, my dear,” he emphasized again, as smoke left his lips, “it just proves that i’m right. too romantic to be the tough girl,” his thumb traced her cheek, as his eyes fell to her lips. however, it was too soft, he had fallen into yet another delicate moment with her. that would never do. as one hand fell to his pocket, the other took the cigarette from his lips, blowing smoke beside her face. “i mean some of the things you and i do, i would say those count,” he looked down at her again, thoughts of intimate settings coming to his mind, “but other than that, what bad things have you done, or are you just a good girl?”

wren was a mess of a person. both craving and rejecting affection any chance it came his way. that need for attention always in the pit of his stomach. most of the time he suppressed it, knowing all too well how dangerous it could be. to let anyone in. he had seen too many failed connections, the pain and aches it could cause. wren wasn’t built for that. but every so often he would allow it, his feet moving him closer to the uptown girl, “always knew you were the pet name type under all that cigarette smoke,” the smoke fell from his lips as he spoke, joining her cloud around them, “i mean mostly for me, but i kinda feel like corrupting you a little bit more,” his head tilted, a goofier smile than he would let anyone else see spreading across his face.

“is there a difference?” kit quips, “i mean, games, immaturity, bodily fluids covering every surface.” he shrugs, “this is basically a high school.” it was all lighthearted, though, which… surprised him. he didn’t expect that to be the case. this was the kind of joking he did with his friends, not with girls he was 95% sure thought they were better than him. “you bet,” he shoots back, a smirk on his lips, “i do bad things and i do them very well.” kit was surprised by the eye contact, not used to that from girls like erin. “really? well, that’s a shame.” he indicates a corner of one of the rooms, darkened over the years. “my friends and i used to smoke up in that corner. drew always brings a stash for us, it’s pretty fun.” 

“okay, gross.” newt replies almost instantly, amused even as his face scrunches in disgust. he gives erin a look as he shakes his head, lips twitching even as he says, “that’s a mental image i did not need, erin. i’d much rather live in the fairy tale world where donald trump is a celibate virgin who will never procreate. ignorance truly is bliss you know?” newt sighs at erin’s question, looking out at all of the chaos for a few moments before he very candidly admits, “honestly, i’m mostly here to support kath.” newt pauses for a moment before shrugging and adding, “and maybe play some games. i mean, i’m not made of stone.” newt is sighing tiredly before erin wraps her hands around his arm, but at the action he glances down at her curiosly. it isn’t long before he’s smiling at her suggestion. “oh? is that what we should be doing? i didn’t realize.” newt replies with a laugh before he’s truly thinking about it, honestly, why isn’t he getting drunk right now? what’s stopping him? even if he were to show up for the last of his shift drunk it’s not like his boss would really care. he purses his lips for a second before he’s nodding and, “you know what, you’re right. let’s get pissed.” newt tries to look around one of the chuck e cheese employees, figuring they can maybe get some beer if they ask drew really, really nicely. but he’s distracted from the pursuit at erin’s yank of his hair. “ow, erin. god.” newt replies with a laugh as he raises a free hand to massage his scalp with a wince. he looks down at her with a shake of his head as he says, “…y’know when i was younger i used to think there was truth to that saying you know, about children going around pulling on the hair of the kids they like. but then i met you and realized that can’t be true. you simply get joy out of slowly yanking all my hair out over a prolonged period of time.” newt finally stops rubbing his scalp to point at erin as he adds, “i want you to know that if i’m bald by the time i’m thirty i’m having you pay for my hair transplant. but for now, you can start with maybe treating me to a pint. you know, for the emotional damages.”

kath appreciated that the girl hid her instinctively, instead of freezing up in fear. so she did have a bit of a bad side. still, no one who worked at the strawberry mall was really pure. except for peter blooth, of course. “good choice,” kath insisted, splashing a generous amount into the cup, “this will mix really well with coke, which… everything alcoholic does on some level, but particularly gin.” she hands the cup to the girl with a smile. “erin,” kath repeated, “right, you’re at nordstrom.” she laughs, slipping the flask back into her coat, “that’s why i don’t know your name; they don’t let me into nordstrom.” it’s a joke, mostly. 

where erin was standoffish, so was kit, carrying the same high-and-mighty attitude about himself. he wore his weirdness the same way erin held her beauty and her money: like a shield. still, he flushes a little bit at her chuckle. “i don’t know, some high school shit? goad me into saying some weirdass shit so you can go titter with your girlfriends about it?” at least, kit thought erin had girlfriends. he shoved aside, giving her room to play the game, but… he still stuck around. “that’s true, i gotta admit. you feel like you’re doing something bad.” he leaned against the chair, watching her as she started playing. “did you come to chuck’s after hours a lot? at least in high school?” 

newt smiles at the mischievous edge to erin’s smile, huffing a laugh as he crosses his arms over his chest and retorts, “well that just can’t be true. uh…” newt’s face scrunches as he thinks, gaze upward for a moment before he’s saying, “… what about one of those booby trap coffins with all the spikes? atlantis? the top of a pyramid? donald trump’s bedroom? that last one i’m willing to bet money on.” newt says with a pointed arch of his brow before he’s shaking his head at erin’s laughter even as it makes his lips twitch. it was honestly pretty funny, and newt didn’t even know why. what was so hilarious about children getting themselves hurt? “oh, well, that i can’t deny. every inch of this place is probably disgusting. snot everywhere. shit and piss. not a single inch of this space is sacred, but that comes with the territory of children doesn’t it? their parents should be used to it. in fact they’re probably too liqoured up right now to care. they’re just probably waiting until they go home and drink some more there….” newt trails off as he realizes he’s probably being painfully pessimistic, pressing his lips together for a moment before he’s spotting a little girl yanking on a little boys hair. they’re both about three so the little boy understandably promptly starts to cry. the whole scene is probably more nostalgic than it should be, and despite himself newt ends up smiling as he points them out to erin with a teasing, “hey look, that one reminds me of you!” 

more than wren would ever admit to anyone, including himself, he enjoyed erin’s company. he never could figure out just why, but he enjoyed the way they felt authentic in private. to the outside world, they were two opposites. two pieces of two different puzzles. something that could never quite fit, but wren was drawn to her like a magnet. even if his words often said otherwise. “i’m not quite the actor you are, my dear,” his words oozing sarcasm, his smile however giving away his lack of ill will, as his hand moved to lite the stick between her fingers, “i’m sure i could give you one though,” his brows wiggling playfully, “for example, i know how to fuck with the circuits on the robot mouse they just fixed,”