WIP = Writer in Peril

Alright, I’m going to preface this by saying a couple of things.

1. I’m not a mental health professional. All I’ve got going for me in that regard is that I’ve taken one psychology class in college. Which is to say...nothing.

2. I am diagnosed with, though currently not being treated for, Bipolar Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, minor OCD, and insomnia (which isn’t a mental disorder, but I’m putting it in here anyway). I’m also, though undiagnosed, most likely ADHD. I’ve been dealing with mental disorders for at least 13-14 years now, if not longer.

3. Everybody experiences mental disorders differently. Nothing is universal. So I’m only drawing off of my own experiences for this post.

Let’s get into the meat of my rant. Or...actually....probably two rants. One about how mental disorders and representation in media and one about Bipolar in specific, since those are both things that I’m thinking about today.

Mental disorders are not a character trait. They are an illness and need to be treated as such.

I saw this a lot when I was younger, mostly with younger teens/kids building their first OCs. They be writing out their personality description and use “bipolar” or some other mental disorder as  a descriptor for their personality. But, like I said, those were mostly kids who didn’t really understand what they were doing and were likely uneducated on these topics, so I’m not trying to shame them for that.

But I’ve seen something similar. Recently. In writeblr (though I’m not going to call anyone out. Partially because I’m sure they wouldn’t listen to me even if I did.) Where symptoms of mental disorders are intentionally disregarded as such and are instead purposefully used as character traits, where mental disorders are considered to not be ‘illnesses’ but are instead just parts of people’s character. And part of me understands how that could be cathartic...

But it’s extremely damaging to others, especially impressionable younger people.

As I said, I’m mostly drawing off of my own experiences here, so feel free to enter into a discussion with me if you disagree or feel differently. I’m 

I have extremely low self-esteem. That’s just a fact of life. I’m not sure what caused it and I don’t feel like delving deep enough into my mindset to figure it out. And let me tell you, being diagnosed with mental disorders did not help a single bit. 

Society is, at least in my eyes, beginning to get a little more accepting about mental disorders. As long as those disorders are Depression and Anxiety and your symptoms are mild enough that they don’t effect the people around you, that is. But the fact of the matter is, other disorders are still heavily stigmatized. As are the symptoms. And so if you try and tell me that the symptoms of my disorder aren’t that, but are instead just inherent traits of who I am, it honestly makes me feel even worse about myself.

Even beyond that, there’s a fine line that I feel people with mental disorders need to walk. On one side, you have to accept that your disorder isn’t going away. It can’t be cured and it’s going to stay with you. It is, all things considered, a part of you. On the other side, you have to create some distance between yourself and your disorder. You can’t let it define you and you can’t use it as an excuse. And yeah, there’s a fine line between the two. It’s a line that I’m still learning to walk and it’s a line that I do stumble off of sometimes. But letting your mental disorder define you is dangerous both for yourself and for the people around you, as well as creating even more harmful stigmas about mental disorders that effect those that can’t let themselves be defined by it for their own well-being.

Thinking this way also leads to a mindset that people don’t need treatment. And even though I might be untreated as of right now, I am 100% for people with mental disorders getting treated. It takes some time, it takes some trial and error, but there are treatments that work. Personally, I went through a crap ton of medication before I found a combination that worked. Not to mention that this was worsened by the fact that I was misdiagnosed as Depressed for years before being diagnosed as Bipolar. And also, therapy doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried multiple therapists and haven’t found one that really, truly helps. But the fact of the matter is that for a good number of people, they do. I will never tell someone talking to me about their problems not to talk to a doctor or get in to see a therapist if they have the means to do so. Treatment helps. And getting treated, if you’re getting the right treatment, makes life so much easier to live. But telling people that their symptoms are just a part of them is telling them that it’s 100% okay for them to feel and act that way and that there’s no need to get treated, even if that treatment might actually make them feel better. You’re sacrificing their well-being to further your own ideals that mental disorders shouldn’t been seen as illnesses.

But that’s just it. They are illnesses. And they need to be treated, just like any other illness.

And that’s another thing. Mental illnesses are already seen as “fake” or “not that bad” in society. They already aren’t considered actual illnesses. So if I want to miss work because I had a cold, that’s fine. But if I want to stay home because I’m in the middle of a massive depressive episode and I’ve been staring at the wall for nine hours because I can’t get out of bed, it’s just me making excuses and being lazy. This mindset just furthers this issue.

(also I lived with a girl once who refused an treatment for her mental disorders because she refused to admit she had any disorders and that all her symptoms were just part of her personality. She also tried one (read that again. one.) anti-depressant and it didn’t help. She didn’t even try any more. And let me just tell you. Every single person in our house was completely miserable. Because her symptoms were awful and effected not only her, but how she treated others. And she refused to acknowledge any of it or try and seek out help because “it was just a part of her.”)

Now. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that people need to write stories that are brutally realistic about the stigmatization of mental disorders. That’s not at all what I’m trying to get at. But we do need to normalize accepting yourself for your disorder without letting it define you. And we also need to normalize getting treatment. Because trust me, being extremely depressed and dealing with suicidal thoughts isn’t normal. You need to get help for that. And it’s terrible when you feel like you can’t or don’t need to get treated because society looks down on people on medication or in therapy and makes you out to be “crazy.” And we need to make sure that others don’t have to go through that. And the best way to do so is to normalize it, not to act like it’s not an issue.

Anyway. That’s all I have to say right now on that. So let’s move to my next issue. Which will much shorter because I’m just....tired.........

Can we.....please........pretty please.........for the love of god please................get some good bipolar representation? i’m begging here.

I’m so tired of the same old shit about “oh this character/whatever is bipolar!! Which obviously means chaotic and violent and unable to control their temper!!!!!”

it’s so shitty and disheartening that that’s the majority of representation that we get. i am the most passive, conflict-adverse, pacifistic person I know. And trust me, I get called out on it all the time. like....yeah. there are people with bipolar disorder that are violent and destructive. but there are also people without that are. and yes, one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is ‘irritability,’ but that doesn’t mean violent and abusive and constantly angry!!!!