actually persephone

i’m already sorry for how long this is gonna get to be honest with you guys, it was about damn time i’d finally decide to move on. i’ve been in this fandom for 6 years - the majority of my puberty - and i’ve very recently started therapy, which also helped me put a lot of things into perspective. i’m generally trying to get my life back together and changing how i do things, how i feel about things, what i think about things. which also includes tumblr rp or generally rping just becoming too stressing, too repetitive, too monotone to me. i started this blog to meet people and to distract myself but also to admittedly vent a bit. not as in me and my character being the same, but sharing the same feelings. it felt good, and i also felt good at what i was doing! i was also researching and putting a lot of effort into making this muse as close to canon as possible. over the time on here i got so many sweet compliments and so much kindness, which i btw still have saved screenshots of bc that’s just the kinda person i am heheh.

now that i don’t feel as angry, as upset, as frustrated as i used to, this blog often enough upsets me and makes me feel stressed. plus! i also don’t think i need it anymore. i’m learning to deal with my emotions differently now. and also additionally i’m just not into homestuck itself anymore. i haven’t been in a long ass time to be completely honest. it just isn’t to me what it used to be, and that’s ok! interests change and stuff.

either way now that i got all this emotional gross talk out of the way i also have to admit a lot of not nice things happened on here which left me paranoid and stressed, which i would like to completely leave behind. the negativity that is happening on here is just suffocating and it hinders my recovery.

but!!! now to the nice things. in all this time on this blog (over 2 and a half years!) i’ve met so many incredible and amazing people. i’ve met people who have inspired me, who have helped me with so many things. i have to admit i don’t feel like i got incredibly close with anybody on here, but i got to see all these different unique people with all their huge ideas and plots and that was a gift all in itself. honestly i felt super intimidated most of the time bc i saw so many amazing backstories, so much work put into characters and such. it’s incredible! i had so many awesome rps with so many people and i’m so glad i got to have that. rp is such a collaborative task and it’s surprising to me just how much and how quickly people connect through it.

so! special shoutout to all of my rp partners that i still talk to today! i don’t wanna @ all of you for no reason, so here goes.

thank you kaiser for giving me SUCH! a good ship. thank you for being so goddamn funny and making me feel understood. thank you for all this inspiration bc gosh your art is gorgeous. thank you jules for giving me a place to vent. thank you for inspiring me to come up with my own worldbuilding and backstories! thank you for helping me with many many things and thank you for being there for me when i needed it. (also thank you for your incredible taste in music holy damn) thank you kitty for being a role model basically! your way of talking, your way of how you act around others, your way of treating others, your way of coming up with ideas and your help! just about everything was so inspiring to me. thank you for letting me experience a person like you. thank you alex for giving me SO many funny interactions that left me fuckign CRYING. you’re amazing and you’re so good at what you do, your vriska is such a gift. thank you jade for having the best goddamn nepeta i’ve seen. what a good goddamn muse. also thank you for being there for me and being a patient and understanding friend!! thank you munbun for being the LONGEST rp partner i’ve had!! we still know eachother from when i basically just started out with this blog and i’m so glad we still occasionally talk to eachother. please keep going making more wonderful ocs! thank you tumblr user luvborne! i know we’ve barely talked ooc but i’m so glad we’ve been rping for so long. i greatly enjoy your muse and our muses’ interactions together! you’re overflowing with wonderful ideas and i hope you’ll never stop with that. thank you tae for being sweet understanding and patient with me. you really helped me when i felt insecure about myself! thank you emma for being the BEST league coach to date and being so passionate with what you do. thank you red for just plainly letting me experience you and what an incredible human you are. just your presence is enough to move mountains. thank you to the cyberbent timeline for being a wonderful place to be, where i got supported until the very end, even if my paranoid head would go way too fucking far sometimes. thank you for giving me a chance to be among huge creative people (which no joke intimidated me from the beginning up until now) and thank you to everybody else who i didn’t manage to get quite as close with. but thank you for giving me a great time and giving me a chance to have fun and bounce ideas. also thank you to the people who i stopped talking to for one reason or another. no matter what happened i’ll remember you fondly; i’ll remember the good times we had! thank you for that!

you’re all incredible people and i want you to keep going! even if it’s not homestuck rp! you got so much to give to the world. promise me you’ll never hide and that you’ll show off what you can do because dang is it a lot.

lastly i want to mention that i’m not completely gone! if you for some reason still want more of my muse then we can absolutely keep rping on discord hahah. other than that i’ll also be on my twitter and soon work on my art blog! you can find me on twitter at magsimumcute and my art blog at magsimillion