Your birth certificate is just a fancy receipt from your first visit to a hospital

Now in my thirties, I just tried Thai food for the first time and discovered that I love it. How many other things do I love, but don’t know it because I’ve never tried them?

The older I get the more I realize that you’re more of a rebel if you don’t smoke weed or drink

They really missed out by not making a James Bond film in 2007

When someone claims to be constipated, they are full of shit whether they are telling the truth or lying.

We live in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons..

Do twins even realize one of them was unplanned

The guy who said “Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird!” in the Superman intro was strangely excited to see a bird…

If Captain America’s shield can absorb kinetic energy it probably wouldn’t be able to bounce off things

tbt