lose control.

ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ  ɴᴏ ᴛᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ,  ɪᴛ'ꜱ  ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴛᴇᴇʀ.  ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪᴅᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ  ꜱᴛᴀʀᴇꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜꜱᴘ. ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏꜱᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜɪɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ᴡᴇʟʟ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʀᴜꜱᴛ. ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ꜱᴀʏ ——

—— 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 

what  was  his  favorite  thing  about  isaac   ?   he’d  never  really  sat  and  thought  about  it  before.  he  enjoyed  everything  about  him ,  even  the  parts  that  isaac  himself  didn’t  really  like.   

if  he  thinks  about  it ,  the  list  is  going  to  be  long.   from  the  way  he  eats  his  cereal  to  how  he  sleeps  at  night  ;   it’s  all  kind  of  rolled  into  one  giant  ball  of  isaac  lahey. like  the  way  that  he  can  make  him  laugh  with  the  most  simple  of  things  or  how  he  can  make  him  angry  at  the  flick  of  a  switch.  how  he’s  not  afraid  to  be  vulnerable  around  him  now  and  really  lets  him  in.  

but  if  he  had  to  pick  only  one ,  it  would  be  how  they  were  able  to  evolve  into  this  new  dynamic ,  one  in  which  isaac  makes  him  feel  truly  safe  and  loved.  they  still  have  their  banter  but  that’s  all  it  is  now ,  banter   :    no  more  childish  hatred  that  they  were  holding  onto  from  their  past.   just  an  admiration  and  trust  for  each  other.  

yeah ,  that’s  probably  it. 

his  favorite  thing  about  isaac  lahey  is  that  he  loves  him  with  all  that  he  has.

“Call it wishful thinking, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was nothing more than a very, very bad dream.”

“Why are you so cranky in the mornings?”

“I can’t remember the last time I was in this foul a mood.”

“Is that supposed to cheer me up?”

“I hate it that everything’s so messed up between all of us.”

“I just wish one of my relationships could be back to normal.”

“I put my underwear in the microwave to dry them and they feel good.”

“I’ve been thinking about all the times you’ve manipulated me and toyed with me, and I can’t help but recall that children’s fable about the race between the tortoise and the pain in the ass that everybody hates.”

“It’s a disturbing children’s book, but it’s one that’s stuck with me.”

“That’s the sound of all the bees in your bonnet.”

“You can’t drop this on me and expect me to make it a priority.”

“I was wrong to talk behind your back, which is a violation of the trust our relationship is based on.”

“It’s gotten awkward with this guy I’m seeing.”

“I planned to avoid him all day, but I needed his help.”

“What kind of man tortures people like this?”

“I think we should sex each other.”

“Our relationship ended so quickly, and now there’s these feelings floating around and I feel like we’ll always regret it if we don’t see if they lead somewhere.”

“He wasn’t yelling at me like he used to because he didn’t care about me anymore.”

“I couldn’t help thinking about the way things used to be.”

“Everyone was just drifting, each one of us acting like the others didn’t exist.”

“I think we should talk about the sexual tension.”

“You’re not in love, you idolize me.”

“You’re mad because I’m scared of losing you?”

“I never took you for granted.”

“I’ve killed for much less than that.”

“I’ll do it again unless you all shut up now.”

“Are you planning on making this worth my while?”

“Sometimes when you do nothing at all, things just have a way of fixing themselves.”

“You were in my dream, and I can’t so for certain but I was having the flesh torn from my bones by a cross-eyed water snake.”

“There’s nothing like the feeling of taking charge of a situation.”

“That was kind of demeaning.”

“I’m gonna politely tell you to blow it out your ass.”

“I make it a rule to never get in bed with people that I have nothing but contempt for.”

“Next time we talk, maybe I could finish a sentence or two.”

“I don’t want to hear your misguided romantic notions.”

“Sex is a sport, like racquetball.”

“It’s impossible to actually lie next to her seeing as she sleeps hanging upside down from the ceiling wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.”

“As weird as this place is during the day, it’s even worse at night.”

“It’s disturbing how obsessed you are with your butt.”

“You can do your victory dance or slaughter a goat or whatever it is you do when you’re happy.”

“This is pointless, angry, shallow sex.”

“Why would you go and ruin something like that?”

“I’m real sorry, but that’s not enough for me anymore.”

“I have feelings for you but unlike you I have some balls.”

“I can’t let you back into my life and watch you personally and professional sabotage every single chance you get.”

“What do you want me to do to prove I’m not that guy anymore?”

“Sometimes just making a decision is half the battle.”

“Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy.”

“I need you to quiet the hell down.”

“If I were younger and tipsy, this might be your lucky day.”

“I can’t do your work for you.”

“Leave this instant, this second, this moment.”

“We have a lot in common, like having a hard time digesting dairy.”

“I don’t know why you’re trying to force this.”

“Tomorrow’s gonna be a better day for everyone.”

“You’re stuck on your first impression, that I am some spoiled brat.”

“I don’t always say the right thing.”

“I only have things in common with nice people.”

“Around here, life can be full of surprises.”

“I decided I could have my cake and eat it, too.”

“I could do naughty things to that man.”

“I’ve been self-conscious my whole life and finally got the courage.”

“If you were to change one thing about my appearance, what would it be?”

“If I were to be really honest with myself, I would change everything.”

“Are all women this crazy?”

“How about you help me out and I won’t tell anybody about this?”

“I wanna be like you, but a more successful you.”

“I like to think your life comes down to the choices you’ve made.”

“In the end, you have to trust your decisions.”

“You’ll need a tinfoil hat to hold in all your thoughts.”

“The greatest thing about her is I always know I can count on her to be the bad cop.”

“If you don’t listen to them, you’re gonna have to answer to me.”

“I guess after awhile you just stop being surprised by people.”

“How come I know nothing about your family?”

“I’m not big on sharing my personal life with people.”

“Women are masters of every style of combat.”

“I’m in a mood, so it’s probably in your best interest to make up some lame excuse and leave.”

“I will not be spoken to like that.”

“Now you think I’m the craziest woman here.”

“I can’t believe you think I’ve got a thing for her.”

“You babbled all my crazy to the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with.”

“I told you how hard it is for me to let my guard down.”

“I was hoping that we can use this as an opportunity to repair our relationship.”

“I never meant to insinuate you guys were stupid.”

“Everyone knows you’re a hundred times smarter than the jackasses that run this place.”

“It wouldn’t hurt you to cut ‘em some slack once in awhile.”

“Every time you screwed up with me, I’ve let you off the hook.”

“You can keep trying to connect with me.”

“You’re so damn entertaining.”

“You might be better served if you could stop worrying so much about who does and doesn’t notice you.”

“he will die watching me take what is his away from him.”

“i can empathise with anybody.”

“can i borrow your imagination?”

“he’s like willy wonka.”

“the amount of detail is incredible.”

“i would apologise for my analytical ambush, but i know i will soon be apologising again and you’ll tire of that eventually, - so i have to consider using apologies sparingly.”

“could be a permanent installation in your evil minds museum.”

“i’ve fantasised about scenarios where my actions may have allowed a different fate for [name].”

“what is that? i bet it’s marijuana.”

“i got stabbed in the third grade with a number two pencil. thought i was gonna get lead poisoning.”

“i’m very supportive of bake-offs.”

“i don’t feel sorry for myself at all. i feel, um i-i i feel, um good.”

“i guessed your size, so anything you don’t want, leave the tags on, i’ll bring it back.”

“i’m gonna be messed up, aren’t i? i’m worried about nightmares.”

“i was sort of expecting a body outline in chalk or tape.”

“i’ll tell you if i saw him if you tell me why it’s important.”

“your victimhood has a high profile.”

“i never connected to the concept.”

“the family you think is family, is just a stepping stone to real family.”

“thirteen-year-old milk carton material.”

“have you ever tried psilocybin? ‘mushrooms’?”

“i want to give you your power back.”

“a paradox in the midst of a normal family: he’s an outsider who doesn’t look like one.”

“well, i don’t think you’re gonna go home for a long time.”

“as someone who makes such a big deal about common courtesy, i’m a little taken aback.”

“think it’s too late for us to have kids?”

“at night i leave the lights on in my little house, and walk across the flat fields. when i look back from a distance the house is like a boat on the sea.”

“i had two fingers of whiskey before i went to bed.”

“vikings used to execute christians by breaking their ribs, bending them back, and draping the lungs over them to resemble wings. ttey used to call it a ‘blood eagle’.”

“your perfume is exquisite.”

“even a drunk with a flair for the dramatic can convince himself he’s god.”

“supplication is the most common form of prayer.”

“so can we have a conversation, or do you want to pretend that everything’s alright?”

“you know something - i’m very good at sorting things out, and at the very least i can underwhelm you while you’re being overwhelmed.”

“i won’t insult you by asking if there’s someone else.”

“my ears rang like the first time I heard my mom use the f-word.”

“i figured you’d be here.”

“it’s your fight, baby, but i’m in your corner.”

“i thought if i kept it to myself, our lives wouldn’t change.”

“you don’t have to say a word until you’re ready, but i’m not going anywhere until you do.”

“i cannot help feeling responsible myself for what happened.”

“i’m assuming that you’re familiar with the chesapeake ripper?”

“how wonderful to see you again.”

“um, i was just, uh, in the neighbourhood.”

“you look like you were dreaming.”

“so, are you enjoying reading my mail?”

“[name] would you care to assist me with dessert?”

“it can sometimes be brave to allow yourself hope.”

“i believe the world is a better place with [name] in it.”