la vie en rose

      She's had this dream before.

                  A lighthouse.                                                 A man.                                                                    A city.

      A million, million doors that shine like a sea of stars and they all lead her back to here. To this moment when she should be gone, when there should be nothing but the cold comfort of death's embrace. She wakes with a start, a featherlight gasp to a blurred vision of fathomless depths. They're gone and somewhere in the city, a war is brewing. A smile graces her features before it all sinks away again.

            She dreams.

      The knowledge of the wrongness of it all sits heavy in her heart. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. The doors are all closed, but she's seen what's behind them and for a heartbeat that stretches into the infinite, she'd known and she'd been ready.

      She should be dead.

            And yet she lives.

      There's a touch, fingers curling around hers, warmth that soothes away the cold. There's a struggle to remember. Fragmented memories that shimmer, unreachable and distant. But there's one memory that remains, that she clings to like a lifeline. one memory she folds around herself. If she just imagines hard enough, she can almost believe that he's right there with her.

            Please don't just leave me here.

      She's not sure if the words are hers or a figment of her dreams, but she hears them all the same.