tales of a computer science geek.

I was given the opportunity to share my memories with my former late professor, Dr. Klassen.

I was told later that some parts of my email was used in her Eulogy at her Memorial on  June 1st, 10 am, at the Samuelson Chapel at California Lutheran University.

This truly touched my heart and I will forever cherish that. 

Thank you again, Sue Jean, for allowing me to share these wonderful memories I had with your mother. Telling me that she would have been touched by my words gives me great joy and comfort moving forward and dealing with her passing.  Thank you again for posting this on your blog. I am forever grateful. 

07.24.1950 – 05.06.2015 

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.

Today, I had the unfortunate news that my undergraduate Computer Science professor had lost her battle to her stage four gallbladder cancer. Bad news travels fast.... She was the woman that made me who I am today. She is the woman that made me fall in love with Computer Science.  She loved flowers. 

2011

I met her when I was sophomore at college. She was my instructor for my Intro to programming class, where she taught us python. She was a very dedicated, intelligent and loving professor. I was a Chemistry/Physics double major and a Computer Science minor at the time. As I struggled with Chemistry and often put off my chem homework for my programming assignments. I fell in love with programming. I remember when I made my first hello world programming assignment in class. It was so simple, but just writing “ print “hello” “ in the python editor made me so happy. I compiled it and was like OH MY GOD MY FIRST FORMAL ASSIGNMENT. I remember how much joy it gave me to be in that class. I was eager to go and eager to learn. I loved that class so much and I did very well. Everyday, I would look forward to Dr. Klassen’s class. She was an amazing professor. This was 4 years ago. 

2012

I remember I was applying for summer undergraduate research my sophomore year. I had to get a letter of recommendation from one of my professors in my department. She was the first person that taught me in Computer Science, so I asked her if she could write me one. She was so happy that I asked and she submitted a letter of recommendation to the committee. I was so happy. Without her, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to start my first undergraduate research project. She helped me during the summer, even though she wasn’t my faculty advisor for the project and she was so happy to see me. I would come by and say hi to her and such. She was such an intelligent woman. I can’t stress this enough. She even told me to take care of myself and that she hoped that I was around people when I was doing my project so I would not feel lonely and separated from everyone else. She was a great inspiration to me and she was always there if I needed her. I am truly so grateful to have met and have been one of her students.

2013

It was my junior year and I signed up to take Bioinformatics. I always thought this would be an interesting subject to take. I was so happy to learn that it was going to be co-taught by Dr. Klassen and Dr. Revie (he was head of the Biochem Department).  She taught so well and she was so patient with everyone that was not a CS major. She was very informative, smart, funny at times and you could tell that she was super into teaching and interacting with us, the students. She always cared about us. She always made the effort and she always went above and beyond to help us. I had the whole semester with her and she was so awesome. She made me happy and she also made me proud to have been taught by her. Until this day, I still am grateful for what she did for me.  I still think I have a picture of her somewhere...when she was teaching. I love that woman so much....

Later that year, I saw her during graduation and I hugged her so tightly and told her how I was doing summer research again! I thanked her for everything that she has done for me.  I didn’t know that it would be one of the few times I would last see her..... 

2013- Summer Research...

That summer...my best friend, Carla and I  were starting to do research. We were worried about the lack of communication from Dr. Klassen. Our advisors Dr. Hanrahan and Dr. Reinhart eventually broke the news to us that she was sick. Dr. Reinhart told us later, personally, that she had stage four gallbladder cancer. It was terminal. That was what she said. She was sorry. Carla and I were devastated. We didn’t know that May 17 was the last day we would ever see her. I wish we could have seen her..... That summer was really hard for all of us. Especially Carla, since she worked with her more than I did. We both were heartbroken, we cried, we sobbed. We couldn’t function for a few days, weeks. We were just ....broken. We tried to continue. I encouraged Carla to keep working hard, I tried to be her rock. I told her to do her project for her, our professor. She was able to tough it out but the next year and half together would be difficult for us to go through together. 

2013-2014 My Senior Year 

The last year I tried to be the strong friend and I held a lot of it in. I tried to be okay with the fact that my favorite professor and one of the people that I looked up to, had terminal cancer. My grandfather has cancer, still does, but he was still alive. I knew that maybe I could handle this. I’ve had friends pass before but this felt a lot closer to home.  The woman that I looked up to, she was going to die. I didn’t know when, but I knew at some point. I would try to cheer up my best friend whenever she got down. I did the same for her..This year was going to be the hardest of our lives. 

2014 and beyond...

I am not a believer of God. But, this was her home. And if God exists, please take care of her. She was special to all of us. To me.. my best friend, Carla... This was where she taught us Computer Science, her love. Everyone that has had her, knows that she was an inspiration to all of us, such a great professor. She had an impact on us. All of us. Sometimes, I would go up here to the cross and think about things. I wish I could do that now. I wish I wasn't so far away from home. I wish I was in California, in Thousand Oaks, so I can see and be in the place that I once shared with her. 

Rest in Paradise, Dr. Myungsook Klassen. 

Rest in Paradise, mamasook.

I will always remember you and I will always keep you in my heart. You were the one person that believed in me when everyone was against me. You made the woman I was today. I pursued my graduate degree because of you.

Thank you for all your guidance. Thank you for all your support. May you rest in peace.