〄

This summer broke me into a million pieces.

I lost a job (I resigned because of endless trauma).

To avoid paying rent, I moved to my family’s house (it sucks, I miss my little apartment).

In July, I finally confessed my feelings to my friend (whom I’ve liked since 2018) – rejected, of course.

My savings will run out soon.

I think I chose the wrong career, that’s why I hate sending my resume for this exact position.

Not too young to start from zero (too lazy for that).

Have no idea what I want in the future.

I cried for the first time in years (maybe the last time was 2015???).

I miss you every day since the last time we contacted each other normally.

I miss you sometimes so much that I can’t concentrate on anything else. I freeze, staring into space with a muted mind.

And sometimes, I don’t miss you as much, but it’s still enough to feel my heart drop when I think about you.

This is a confession.

These past three months were too good for me. I felt things I had never felt before. I felt that you cared. Sometimes it was hard because I couldn’t understand what you were thinking, but I still cherished everything during that time. I really liked everything about you.

Do you think three months is not enough for someone to feel this way?

Dear, it’s not just about those three months. It’s about the years, months, and days before and after those three months.

It’s a whole journey that makes me feel this way. Those three months were just when our paths crossed directly.

I don’t need daily contact with you to feel what I feel about you.

If I had one drop of water for every time I tried to move on from you, I could make my own sea.

I failed every time.

i realized that I can’t keep trying to achieve the impossible—I just need to keep living my life.

I see that you’re living your life too, filled with beautiful memories, days with your loved ones, achievements, and stories that I will never be part of.

I think you should know that I will always be here, somewhere close enough to find.

How pathetic, but it is what it is.

You can find me when you need me.

As you once told me - “If my absence ever bothers you, you know where to find me”

To my dear,

წავიდოდი და, თუ მაინც გამიჭირდებოდა

ვერავინ გაიგებდა.

მაგრამ ამის თქმა ვერ შეძელი.

მე რაღაც მოქმედებას ვიხსენებდი შენსას

და ალბათ

უნდა წავიდე - მეთქი, ვფიქრობდი ჩემთვის,

რის გამოც მიჭირდა წასვლა,

რადგან დარწმუნებული არ ვიყავი, რომ ეს შენც გსურდა

გულის სიღრმეში კი მინდოდა, რომ ასე არ ყოფილიყო.

უდიდესი კეთილშობილებაა

ადამიანს უთხრა

წავიდეს.

და უდიდესი ბოროტებაა,

გაურკვევლობა მიუბნიო.

ასე გინდა ჩაითრიო შენს სურვილში,

ეს კი ბოროტებაა,