when do I get a cuddling this absolute unit thread bunny
jester......m y lofe...... as soon as i stop being a lazy BUTTWHOLE. he’s on his way to cuddle u irl immediately
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when do I get a cuddling this absolute unit thread bunny
jester......m y lofe...... as soon as i stop being a lazy BUTTWHOLE. he’s on his way to cuddle u irl immediately

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pumat be like: dresses himself up in 50 rings and all this jewelry because he’s a big money boy who enjoys flaunting wealth very subtly
CADUCEUS.
the meeting with trent ikithon even now leaves a bitter taste on his tongue, a heaviness settling deep in his stomach. the feeling? unfamiliar. still, a telling one for someone so accustomed to try to trust first. he shakes his head, momentarily leaving the conversation to instead find some place to settle himself. ‘ thank you. ’ make yourself at home, caduceus reads into the lack of demands otherwise.
‘ yeah. ’ a pause as he reaches for the offered cup. ‘ it was — ’ new. nerve-racking. ‘ certainly an experience. ’
pumat’s remaining injuries, still healing injuries, hadn’t escaped his notice. caduceus lightly blows against the comforting heat of tea. ‘ would you like some healing? ’
he wasn’t a particularly insightful fellow - his intelligence was a matter of objects, magic, information. never people. pumat knew how to sell, how to spin a persuasive speech to empty pockets the right way and how to keep them coming back to do it again. but there was a reason the simulacrums manned the front, and it wasn’t solely due to being busy. people just weren’t his forte.
but he can sense the smaller things, occasionally.
“ oh, well, that’s mighty fine of you to offer, but it’s all right as rain. lingering injuries and all, they’re pesky lil’ things, the kind that just sneaks on through a good surge of magically administered healing. they said it’d pass in time. “ or he could lay out for a regeneration, but he wasn’t impatient as long as it didn’t get in the way of his work. “ i thank you kindly though, for the offer. the rest of your group there, they’re all fine? the real strong lady? “
nobody: not a single soul: pumat: i lost count after 20 me, sweating: you’re just a regular murder boy huh. you . just. you just did that.
@ethicsperformed liked for a starter !
hand scratches over his beard, such a pleasant and warm grin stretched over bovine - esque features. there’s a rather grim darkness to being clustered in a second level basement, but the room is alight with magical flames and the jovial faces of a much younger generation of those who may one day give him a run for his business. it was a nice extension - a request to have him appear at the school and show the students techniques of a real master. the enchanter, of course, was delighted to accept.
he’s wandering now, observing the work of each of the students keenly, making slight comments here and there. one, however, makes him stop for a moment, brow arched. “ well, that sure is an interesting design, there. yep. “

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@guiltsworn liked for a starter !
he doesn’t leave home often - has no reason to, knows prying eyes would have him remain tucked away in his workshop for all hours. but this is a venture of business, and they cannot deny him that. not with the promises of better goods, faster construction, higher quality. whether or not those promises would live up to themselves would remain to be seen, but for the first time in months he’s been able to get more than a few hours of sleep.
he’s attention’s been caught, however, while roaming, sight - seeing. it’s enough to stop him : maybe because he’s feeling particularly kind, maybe because he hasn’t spoken to anyone but himself about matters other than sales in months. “ respectfully, you look a bit down on your luck. “
@bloomingdeed liked for a starter !
porcelain rattles gently, a sense of their fragility as he carries the tray out to the small table : he’s often such a balanced man, perfected in the art of careful hands and steady grips. since the incident in the church, however, he’s been in recovery, nursing sore muscle and burdening his weight on a cane. carefully, the tray is settled - two cups suited for a firbolg and a pot between them.
“ now, assuredly, it’s nothin’ as special or fancy as the teas you’ve had, i’m sure. but it’s what i had in back. “ a regretfully empty space, where anything a man may treat himself with may be placed. he doesn’t tend to keep a lot of food around. slowly, he eases himself into to chair opposite of caduceus, leaning forth to pour them each a good portion. “ heard you all had a real big meeting after all that uh, wild cult business. what a fiasco that was, huh? “
@serpentish liked for a starter !
“ oh yeah, heard about that. real tragic what’s been happenin’ in bastaird, but what can you do! i’m sure the acting king’ll have that place fixed up in no time. “ hopeful, but doubtful. it didn’t seem all that high on the list of priorities when ‘resurrection of a war-mongering tyrant’ was on the table. and pumat was far too polite to delight in the whispers of nobles, but he was certain many doubted sebastian even knew how to proceed with many of his tasks.
“ anyway ! that’s all fine an’ well. welcome, my snake - haired friend, to the invulnerable vagrant! now i don’t mean to brag, but you’ll find this is the best enchantment shop you’ll find in all of nuatir! and i - “ a slow dip of a bow. “ - am enchanter pumat sol. “
@drvidcraft liked for a starter !
“ no, no - respectfully, you heard me right. “ a roll of his shoulders, unstiffening them from the hours of hunched labour, loosening his muscles. he’s not a particularly athletic looking man, of this he’s aware, unbothered by. nor if he typical of a firbolg : engrossed in the life of the city, so detached from nature, as if to spit on his upbringing and his calling. he found a new one, here, though lately, she had been invoking a sense of grounding in him. a return to his roots.
“ this is a one - hundred percent, genuine, no strings attached day off. no work, no assembly, no uhhh - no worrying. maybe. there will be a hardy attempt on that last one, but y’know, can’t kick old habits. “ a hand settles against her back, a rhythmic tapping of fingertips against her spine. it guides her along with him as they walk, the shop closed up and left behind. “ was thinking we could take a day trip outside, be around the, uh, trees an’ all. something like a date, we ain’t been on one of them in a while. wasn’t sure if you wanted me to invite me along. “
this is also a STARTER CALL !

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finding a small place to perch along his long, and multiple, work desks wasn't exactly easy --- but jester nothing if not dedicated. the little blue tiefling curled into a spot between the scatterings of objects, legs swinging as much as they could; she was tossing wintercrest candy into the mouths of unsuspecting simulacrums with a "quick, catch!" every time they walked by. however, prime remained enraptured, until the flicking of her tufted tail began to knock things over. "puuumaaaaaat...."
her company was welcome, most times - rather, all the time, with him simply being poor at expressing it. an adoration exists for her, something deeper that stemmed from a keen appreciation for her carriage. such a pretty blue gem, vibrant and pleasing to an eye trained to enhance and commit to the aesthetics of things. a fondness had grown since, refined with their familiarity. -- so her company, he adored, longed for.
but it made it difficult to work.
the other manifestations of him did what they could to entertain, to feed into whatever desires she may hold at any given time. ( each passes with a jerking shift to posture, clumsily attempting to capture her candies, often stopping to carefully tuck at the hair around her horns. ) but jester was a clever woman, and clever women aren’t fooled by tangible illusions.
he ignores the first clattering - the second too. steadfast, determined : he knows better than to give into her desperate pleas for attention, else she would never let him work. but by the third, he’s straightening his back, a soft, yet heavy sigh off his lips as the goggles are pressed up against his forehead, pushing curls with them. prime takes his time, controls the situation with each prolonged moment he spends wiping grease and metallic dust from his hands. back remains turned to her for the majority of his task, wordless until he finally discarded the cloth and closes the space approaching her.
“ respectfully, my lil’ sugarplum, you’re makin’ it awful hard to get anything done. “ lopsided grin sits plainly on his face, but it’s ever as unreadable as another man’s pokerface may be. a hand mimics what the simulacrums had done before, brushing dark tresses around her horns, pad of thumb lightly grazing over the textured surface of one. “ unfortunately, that just won’t do, nope. i got deadlines, y’know. “ his tone betrays his smile, a touch of scolding from the more surly of the bunch. roaming hand finds a wrist, and another, capturing both of her hands easily.
“ but i’m nothin’ if not a problem solver! “
no joke but can we talk about how sexy that is. casually dropping “lost count at 20″ as if it’s NOTHING like that’s fine it’s whatever he’s had worse. he dropped it so CASUALLY. he’s swoled out before!!!! this is something he’s done before, potentially regularly before settling into his business. he’s so .....hello
pumat break me in half challenge
BARELY, BUT ALIVE ; _ ;
me rn

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Quotes taken from Critical Role’s series named UnDeadwood, Part IV :
❝ Not sure if I’d call it luck. ❞
❝ Better you than anybody else. ❞
❝ You’re not wrong. ❞
❝ He was a much better shot while he was alive. ❞
❝ Now ____ , you’re about to get yourself into a world of trouble. ❞
❝ Keep an eye out while you’re workin’, there demon snakes afoot! ❞
❝ You weak fool! ❞
❝ This game is coming to an end. ❞
❝ I still have some unfinished business and some revenge. ❞
❝ Come to where we first met, or watch me burn this place to the ground. ❞
❝ Did anyone else hear that? ❞
❝ You left us there for a second. ❞
❝ Do you want to mess with dynamite?… ❞
❝ Fuck all of it. ❞
❝ Try to hold on to these this time. ❞
❝ If someone catches fire we don’t lose the entire bit. ❞
❝ Who’s the least flammable among us? ❞
❝ Have you ever done a funeral service twice? ❞
❝ No more tears. ❞
❝ I think your sister would be proud. ❞
❝ Why risk your life? ❞
❝ You’re not the only one that has had to bury a loved one. ❞
❝ He was a healer, but also a bit of a scoundrel. ❞
❝ Well, I’ll be damned… ❞
❝ That’s a lie. ❞
❝ Aren’t a lot of things that scare me, but that scares the living fuck outta me. ❞
❝ Do you trust it? ❞
❝ I’m just trying to survive. ❞
❝ I know that faith, sometimes blind faith, has become part of my everyday routine. ❞
❝ I don’t know if trust is the right word, but I’ve given myself over to it. ❞
❝ Survival I can understand. ❞
❝ Fuck any God-given talents, I think you’ve earned all of yours. ❞
❝ Make sure that all of the guns are loaded. ❞
❝ It’s time to see what cards you’re dealt. ❞
❝ Embrace your power! ❞
❝ It’s your turn, my friend. ❞
❝ YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM! ❞
❝ GO HOME, ____ ! ❞
❝ If you miss, that’s just Darwinism. ❞
❝ Bodies, dynamite, fucking do it! ❞
❝ Wouldn’t surprise me. ❞
❝ The dick cock ring. ❞
❝ Son of a fuck! ❞
❝ What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. ❞
❝ Turn your back on me! ❞
❝ Into the goddamn frying pan. ❞
❝ RUN AWAY! ❞
❝ Nothing about this is cowardly, this is amazing. ❞
❝ Come here, motherfuck- ❞
❝ You think this is all I’ve got? ❞
❝ It’s just rude! ❞
❝ What words are you thinking right now? ❞
❝ Don’t we have lanterns? ❞
❝ I’m fucking tired of these motherfucking snakes in these motherfucking dakota hills! ❞
❝ Why are you making me choose my fucking fate? ❞
❝ You already chose your fate. ❞
❝ I can totally see why people get addicted to this shit! ❞
❝ Fate will do something. ❞
❝ This is my fucking curse. ❞
❝ How the fuck do you want to do this? ❞
❝ You want to see The Dealer? ❞
❝ Can’t win if you don’t play. ❞
❝ A building can’t be held up by only one pillar. ❞
❝ If the King dies, the kingdom falls. ❞
❝ You’re free to go. ❞
❝ See you downstairs? ❞
❝ Let’s take this outside. ❞
❝ Doesn’t matter where we’re coming from, matters where we’re going. ❞
❝ All that’s left is the law. ❞
❝ What if I told you many innocent men themselves end up still having to do for the deeds of those who were cunning enough to be absolved of the noose? ❞
❝ What kind of justice is this? ❞
❝ Goodnight ____ . ❞
❝ You’re on the wrong side of this. ❞
❝ This gives me no pleasure, but you gave me no choice. ❞
❝ You seem a decent man, I’d hate to kill you. ❞
❝ When he died he said no words. Just an ironic smile. ❞
❝ I will never forgive that man for what he did. ❞
❝ Maybe it was no friends and not new friends, after all. ❞
❝ Justice is justice. You have a job to do and you did it. ❞
❝ We began this journey with a prayer, and we’ll end this journey with a prayer. ❞
listen i understand matt has created a canonical representation of pumat but what i’m also saying is i don’t subscribe to his vision and pumat has horns, send tweet