enchanted seokjin

❝ Exile ❞

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending

Moving on from your relationship with Namjoon was hard for you and him. Though you knew it was the best decision you could’ve ever made. You’ve fought for a long time for this relationship but Namjoon’s life was hard and you couldn’t keep up with it. There were many signs given. Nevertheless, Namjoon was so busy that it was impossible to catch them all. For him, everything was perfect. He was sure that he was going to spend the rest of his life with you and you knew how important it was for him to settle down with someone he loved; that was why you stayed with him so long. In the end, life won. [Link]

❝ The 1 ❞

We were something, don't you think so? Rosé flowing with your chosen family And it would've been sweet If it could've been me

Everyone around you two thought that you were going to last forever and so did Seokjin and you. You’ve made up a whole life in your head where he was part of every single thing. The months following your break up were hard. You tried to move on right after Seokjin had packed up his things from your apartment, you tried meeting new people and going to places you’ve always wanted to go. But all the time you wished those people were Seokjin and the places you visited were by his side. You always wondered, and so did he, what could’ve happened if you two were still together. [Link]

❝ The Lakes ❞

I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here

After many ups and downs in your life, after many failed relationships and not knowing where your life was heading, you found someone who understood you. Yoongi knew what it was like to feel out of place all the time. His words and experiences inspired you to make a radical change in your life and as you drew closer to your goal, you realized that your feelings towards Yoongi had changed. It wasn’t hard to tell him how you felt because you knew that no matter whether he reciprocated your feelings or not, he wouldn’t judge you. It took you by surprise to hear that he felt the same way as you did and that he had so for a long time. However, he was waiting for you to heal before taking any steps forward. It was at that moment that it hit you. You didn’t want to stay where you were, you wanted to leave everything behind and start over. You wanted a life with him.

❝ This is my trying ❞

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back

Hoseok’s friendship was everything you’ve ever needed. He was always there for you even if you messed up. He always had the right words to console you and the right advice to voice every time you called him at night searching for help. But after a while, you noticed a sudden change in his attitude. He wasn’t picking up the phone nor answering your texts. He was always busy and making up excuses as to why he was avoiding you. One night, he picked up the phone and you were relieved that you were going to pour out all your worries for once but Hoseok wasn’t going to take anything from you anymore. He said he was tired of being that kind of friend, the kind who listens but never the one who talks. He hung up and left you wondering if you were truly the kind of person he’d just described. Day after day you dreamt of calling him again and he picked up the phone as nothing happened. Though you did phone him, he didn’t answer. You noticed emptiness inside your chest which was deeper than any other wound anyone has ever inflicted on you. It was more than just a friendship wound. You showed up at his doorstep unannounced. It was clear that he wasn’t expecting you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have opened the door. You told him how lost you felt all those days you’ve spent without talking to him. You’ve never done anything like this for anyone, so it was hard to talk and ask for forgiveness while assuring him that you deeply care about him without letting him know about your most deep feelings. It was a relief when Hoseok took a step away to let you in.

❝ Illicit Affairs ❞

What started in beautiful rooms Ends with meetings in parking lots

You should’ve known better than diving into Jimin’s charm but it was impossible to resist. You were warned so many times about him from your family, who didn’t like him at all, but you still gave in after your eyes met his at a party. Jimin had the type of aura that made everyone stand still and admire him every time he entered a room but you wouldn’t have imagined that you had the same effect on him. How convenient it was that your family wasn’t with you that night and that Jimin didn’t exactly know who you were. Though you did know his name and face from afar, you still found yourself smiling every time he said your name. Before you knew it, you were caught up in a spider web and so was Jimin. You two had made out a perfect schedule for clandestine meetings without even noticing and though those meetings didn’t last for long and every time they were over you promised yourself you weren’t going to see him ever again, you found yourself answering to his call the next week.

❝ Invisible string ❞

Time, wondrous time Gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies

It was no secret that you were a hopeless romantic and you've always dreamed about meeting the right person. You’ve been to many relationships but none of them had worked so you gave up and started thinking that maybe waking up next to the love of your life every morning wasn’t meant for you. After all, some people didn’t have a partner and did fine.

You’d spent two years alone, you’d become a pro at avoiding getting your heart broken again and you’d grown a lot when you met Taehyung. It was out of the blue.

You were reluctant about getting to know him but there was something about him that drew you closer without noticing and after a few months, you’ve become really good friends. Taehyung was the type of guy to listen to you talk for hours without interrupting and everything you said was interesting to his ears. He was tender and kind. He had plans for the future and he also had a big desire to meet someone and share those plans. Nevertheless, you didn’t pay much attention to this detail since you were over the whole hopeless romantic face.

Until one day you looked at Taehyung and didn’t see the friend you’ve always seen but someone else. You didn’t see the person you dreamt about meeting when you were younger either. You saw someone better. Someone real.

❝ Cardigan ❞

I knew you Steppin' on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy

↬ summary: Y/N decides to celebrate passing an exam by having a few shots. Though she doesn’t take into account how dangerous it’ll be to get drunk next to someone she likes.

↬ genre: short au; fluff

↬ word count: 1k

↬ warnings: -

↬ note: I’ve had this in my drafts for a while now. I haven’t uploaded it before because I wanted to finish the other six versions first but here we are. Hope you like it <3

DISCLAIMER: None of these pictures are mine. Please, visit this link for the rightful credits. If your picture has been posted on weheartit without your permission or without crediting, please let me know so I can credit you here.

↬ summary: Y/N asks her classmates to write a letter wishing her a happy birthday. She didn’t expect a confession.

↬ genre: one shot

↬ word count: 1.6k

↬ warnings: -

↬ note: inspired by a dream I had--- Yes, a dream. And yes, Mingi was in it.

Silence takes over the classroom and you smile as you look over at your classmates sitting in front of you, waiting patiently for you to explain why you asked to shut up.

You’re thankful that it’s your birthday since you can use it as an excuse and they have no other choice but to accept it, especially Wooyoung, who’s sitting in the back with his arms crossed over his chest, looking forward to any reason to interrupt your speech once you’ve opened your mouth.

“So…” you start, clapping your hands. You aren’t nervous, though you’ve never asked for anything like this before. You’ve known these people for years and you’ve always had a good relationship with them. “As you know, it’s my birthday---“

“Happy birthday to---“

“Shut up,” you look at Wooyoung who holds in a laugh while lowering his head as San hits him on his nape. “Thank you,” you say. San salutes as if you were a sergeant. “Like a said,” all eyes back on you. “It’s my birthday, and I want to do something special,” you stop, gathering your thoughts. You have to hurry up before the professor arrives. “I never told anyone, but I’m a big fan of letters,” you confess. The faces of your classmates start to change as they realize where you’re going with this. You notice Mingi sitting straight on the opposite corner of the room, he’d been playing with a pen between his fingers since the beginning but he stopped as soon as he heard your confession. Now, you feel the palms of your hands sweaty. However, you ignore it and go on, “I want you to write me a letter,” you say, the same way a professor gives homework at the end of the class.

“A letter?” Wooyoung asks with the voice that reminds you of the hyenas from The Lion King. You try to keep a straight face. Wooyoung can indeed drive anyone insane but he’s still a ray of sunshine. “I’m out,” he adds, shaking his head and resting his back against the wall.

“You’re writing the letter,” San says. 

“What am I supposed to write?” Wooyoung points out. “If I wanted to tell you something then I’d say it to your face,” he looks at you and you open your mouth ready to replicate when San takes over again.

“Shut up,” he says. San takes his pen and puts it on Wooyoung’s desk. “If Y/N wants a letter, then you’re writing Y/N a letter.”

“But---“ Wooyoung shrieks.

“Wooyoung,” you interrupt, approaching his desk, fed up with his tantrum. “Write me a letter. Be a good friend for once and write me a letter.”

“I AM A GOOD FRIEND!” he stands up, clearly offended by your statement. Again, you try to hold in a laugh. You catch San looking away, hiding a smile.

“Then be a better one,” you reply and Wooyoung sighs. “You have time until the end of class,” you add when you realize you’ve won the argument and that the professor must be about to show up.

You go to your sit in front of San’s desk, giving him a smile before sitting down. Though Mingi’s desk is behind you, you can see him from the corner of your eye that he’s already started writing and your heart takes a leap.

You’re indeed a big fan of letters and you cherish every single one you’ve received over your life even those from people you haven’t been in touch in years. There’s something special in the way a feeling can be encapsulated in a piece of paper and live forever in it even if time changes. And the thought of finding out what Mingi’s writing makes your hands sweat and your heartbeat rush. You can’t believe that you’re about to receive a letter from the guy you’ve had a crush on for over a year. Therefore, when the professor walks in and he starts talking, you don’t listen to one word, too busy daydreaming about what that letter will contain.

You let out a breath of relief when the alarm rings. You’ve been looking at the clock above the board for so long your sight becomes fuzzy when you start putting away the books.

“Don’t forget to do your homework!” the professor screams above the mess that everyone’s causing by moving the chairs and talking to each other

When you look back up, you see various pieces of paper on your desk and you’re actually surprised that they listened to you. Is that how the professor feels every time he gives homework and students actually do it? Wow.

You shake your head and turn your head back. Mingi’s still putting away his belongings but you notice a folded piece of paper on his desk and you catch your breath. He did write you a letter.

“Here,” you turn back at Wooyoung who’s left the letter under your nose. “I hope you’re happy. You made me write three goddamn paragraphs,” he adds acting mad.

“Three paragraphs?” you ask as though you can’t believe your ears. “Wow, you must really love me.”

“Ha,” Wooyoung smiles despite his attempts to keep a straight face. “You should be thankful that---“

“Hey, Mingi,” San comes in, resting his arm on Wooyoung’s shoulder while looking behind you. You feel the air around you dense as you turn to see Mingi standing next to your desk, his bag on his back, and the letter on his hand. He was ready to drop it until San interrupted him.

“Hey,” Mingi says in a deep voice with a tiny smile on his face. He looks at you and your world stops for a second as he holds up the letter and leaves it on your desk. “Happy birthday,” he whispers before turning around and walking away. The classroom is almost empty.

“Close your mouth, dumbass,” Wooyoung says.

You didn’t even realize your mouth was open until Wooyoung pointed it out.

“He did write you a letter. I’m surprised,” San comments.

The letter lay folded in front of you and you have to fight every fiber in your body to not reach it and read it right here.

“What are you waiting for?” Wooyoung asks. “Read it.”

“I’m not reading it in front of you,” you replied when you realized that San was as keen on finding out what was written on the letter as Wooyoung.

“Why?” Wooyoung shrugs and tries to keep calm. “Do you think he wrote you a love letter?”

“Well---“ San whispers. “He’s good with words.”

“But he’s shy,” Wooyoung replies. “There’s no way he’s confessing on a letter.”

“I think it’s possible,” San says.

“Uhm---“ you interrupt, catching their attention. “Did I miss the part where I asked for your opinion?” though your voice sounds confident, you can’t ignore the pain on your stomach just by the thought of what Mingi could’ve written.

“We’re his friends, you know that, don’t you?” Wooyoung points out.

“You’re not his friend,” you retort. “You’re my friend and his classmate.”

“Stop,” San comes in with his hands up as Wooyoung was about to reply. “It’s true. We aren’t close to him,” he goes on. “So, whatever’s written on that paper, I hope it makes your day,” he says sincerely. 

You smile. San has always been the type of person to add tenderness to every situation and just like that, your nervousness ceases and you look over at the letter, looking forward to finding out. You take it, ready to open it when San and Wooyoung walk away without saying a word. They close the door and you’re left alone inside the silenced classroom.

You take a deep breath, your heart starts beating so fast it may jump out of your chest. You open the letter.

“Dear Y/N,

I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to tell you this, but I know that if I don’t take advantage of this then I will never have the courage to tell you that I like you. I’ve liked you for a while.

Happy birthday!

-         Mingi”

The moment your eyes lay on those three words you stand up, take your bag and leave the classroom empty with the rest of the letters.

“Hey! HEY!” you scream at Wooyoung and San who stop dead when they see you running towards them like a freak.

“What?” San asks, worried.

“What did he write?” Wooyoung asks right after San while you gain your ability to breathe again. His eyes fixed on the letter in your hand.

“Where is he?” you inquire, ignoring Wooyoung’s inquisitive face.

“Who? Mingi?” You’re thankful that San’s the one speaking. He’s the one closer to Mingi. “I don’t know.”

“Well, call him,” Wooyoung says as though it wasn’t the obvious choice.

San sighs.

“I don’t have my phone, remember?” He looks over at you. “He might be at the park but I’m not---“

The words get lost in the wind as you pass them running. The park is not far from the school but it is getting late and you should be back home before your mom starts wondering where the hell are you when she’s asked you explicitly you get back home after school because your relatives would be there to celebrate your birthday.

You rest your hands on your knees, breathing deeply when you arrive at the park which isn’t empty. It’s a nice day. Spring is near. Therefore, the trees are coming back to life with green leaves, the sky’s bright blue, and people would rather take a walk and enjoy the day instead of staying at home.

You start walking, looking around. You see a family with their kid, a couple, a group of friends wearing your school’s uniform but no sign of Mingi.

As you’re about to give up and return home before your phone starts ringing, you see a group of three people standing near the skate zone. There are many around, talking loudly, laughing, and skating but you focus on the three who’ve caught your attention.

It’s not hard to distinguish Mingi, the tallest between the other two guys who are also wearing your school’s uniform but you’ve never seen them.

Even though you aren’t the type to feel intimidated by strangers, the thought of approaching that group next to so many people who must know each other makes your stomach twirl.

You can still talk to Mingi tomorrow at school or ask San for his number. Maybe it’s for the best. In fact, you don’t have anything ready to say so what’s the point? You turn around.

“Hey! Y/N!”

You stop dead when you hear Mingi’s voice calling you. It’s so clear that you feel shivers all over your body. It takes you a moment to force your body to turn back to see Mingi whispering something to his friends before walking towards you.

Is he approaching you? Or are you dreaming? 

He stops and his eyes focus on the letter hanging on your hand, you’ve forgotten it was there. Mingi scratches the back of his neck, a shy smile on his face and suddenly, the people behind him have disappeared. 

“I guess you’ve read it?” he says in a low voice. He wrinkles his nose as though he’s too ashamed of what he’s done.

“Uhm---“ you fight to find the words. You’ve never imagined something like this could happen. “Yeah, I did,” you add as your eyes lay on the friends Mingi’s left behind. Their attention focused on you two. Mingi follows your gaze and his friends look away instantly.

Mingi sighs.

“C’mon,” he murmurs, resting a hand on your shoulder to make you turn around. It burns where his hand has been.

You two walk silently, which gives you time to think about the fact that you’re alone with the person you’ve had a crush on for so long after he’s confessed that he likes you, too. It feels like a dream.

Mingi stops and sits down in front of the tree. You two are now on the top on a small hill which gives you a panoramic look over the lake. Families are enjoying the day, little kids feeding the ducks.

“I wasn’t sure you were going to read it,” he whispers as though he’s too afraid to interrupt your thoughts. 

You look at him. His back rests against the tree and his bag between his legs.

“It was your letter that interested me the most,” you confess without a clue about where you’ve gathered the strength to reveal something like this. You lower your gaze at the surprised look on Mingi’s face. The sun doesn’t hit directly on him but it’s still enough to appreciate his moles. “I liked you since last year,” you go on. It’s now or never. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, genuinely.

“I didn’t know if you liked me,” you reply and realize how stupid you sound but the sweet laugh that Mingi lets out, makes you feel much more comfortable.

“I didn’t know if you liked me, either,” he points out and you smile.

“You should be thankful I’m obsessed with letters,” you joke.

Mingi acts shocked.

“Are you for real? I thought it was a move to make me confess.”

You shake your head, feeling weird but at ease at the same time. You take off your bag and set it on the ground to rest your back against the tree next to Mingi. It feels so right.

“I’m smart,” you whisper. “But not that smart,” you joke, and Mingi laughs, looking at you. You catch your breath as he looks back down after taking a few seconds. Mingi's fingers intertwine with yours. His hand is soft and kind.

“I think you’re smart,” he says.

“Now you’ll be complimenting me at every chance you get?”

He smiles and it makes your heart melt when your eyes meet. You can feel Mingi’s thumb caressing your skin you absent-mindedly; it’s as if he’s done it thousands of times before. You know your phone is about to ring but you ignore reality. You’d rather enjoy every second of it before it’s time to go.

“Is that a bad thing?” Mingi asks, this time the tone has shifted.

↬ Namjoon was really excited about the trip; he was going to spend the weekend camping with the love of his life surrounded by nature. It was perfect. But when the moment came and you arrived at his house, ready to start this little adventure, you found him sitting in front of maps and books, his face painted with panic. “What if we get lost?” he asked. You laughed it off. It was common to see Namjoon panicking a bit before a big event (or at least, what he considered to be one).

“At least you’ll have me,” you said, making him smile and calm down a bit. Though the books were all about surviving in the wild, you still managed to convince him that everything was going to be okay. Still, he took the map with him.

↬ “No phones,” you said.

“What if we get lost?” he asked, not letting go of his best friend. It took you weeks to convince him to go on this trip away from technology. He’d rather stay at home with the AC on, playing video games.

“We have this,” you showed him the map. He looked at it confused, as he didn’t know how to read one. You’d camped so many times before, with your family and friends, and previous relationships (which was the reason why Jin actually accepted going on this trip), that you’d learnt everything about surviving in the wild.

“You told me we weren’t going too far from the city,” he exclaimed.

It was frustrating but you knew Jin was willing to go out of his comfort zone to see you happy, so you were patient. Plus, the idea of seeing him struggle while trying to make a bonfire was appealing.

In the end, he was really happy. Especially since he got the chance to teach you how to fish.

↬ You were actually surprised when Yoongi accepted going camping. You didn’t know Yoongi was into camping; and even though he really liked the idea, he was more excited to spend time alone with you.

He actually set the date and took care of everything. You didn’t have to worry too much about all the things you had to bring, because Yoongi did some research about what was useful on a camping trip.

He might not have the slightest idea of how to build a tent but he bought the biggest one just in case; and that night under the brightest stars he had ever seen, he was sure that he had made the right decision--- And you might’ve inspired him to write a song.

↬ He wasn’t very thrilled with the idea of spending time surrounded by trees and bugs. He said he didn’t have a good experience going camping when he was little as he used to get lost easily but you assured him that everything was going to be okay so he gave in; in the end, he wanted to be brave for you.

He didn’t know how to build a tent nor how to read a map. He bought all the things needed but didn’t know how to use them. Instead of making you mad, the sight of him struggling with keeping the mosquitoes away while holding the map between his sweaty hands made you laugh.

By the end of the first day, Hoseok had lost the map. Thankfully, you had brought your own.

↬ Another excited little boy. He had never been camping but he was always up for trying new things and promised that you didn’t have to worry about anything because he’d do some research and have everything ready for the weekend.

He didn’t do any research. He went to the store and bought a few of the things he’d found in the camping section.

“Do you even know how to use a compass?” you asked. Jimin didn’t have to answer. At least he’d bought the tent. It was stressful but you two went along with it.

The tent wasn’t how it was supposed to be but at least it didn’t fall, the map was okay and you knew how to read it, the compass was totally useless but Jimin insisted on taking it with him. He didn’t forget the compass, but he did forget the battery for the flashlight.

↬ Taehyung was really happy when you asked him if he wanted to go camping, but was a bit reluctant about whether he should go or not, he wasn’t worried about himself but more about your experience with someone who’d never been camping. You promised you would help him and that he would have fun. He finally accepted.

He might’ve not have been involved with buying the supplies but he made sure you two had a beautiful, calm and unique playlist while driving to your destination. He was so excited about the playlist, talking about musicians you had never heard of that you let him have his phone just to play music while he made dinner.

↬ He’d be so excited that he would’ve everything ready and packed for the trip. You were shocked, and thought he had lied when he’d said he’d never been camping, though he had asked his relatives for some advice.

Later you would figure out that Jungkook hadn’t just taken the advice, but he had made research on his own and he must have landed on some weird forum, filled with people talking about surviving in the jungle, because that’d would explain why he had bought so many useless stuff like a compass, three pair of shoes, a backpack full of clothing that you weren’t going to use and writing materials “just in case.”

Still, Jungkook and you were able to build the tent perfectly have a beautiful weekend surrounded not only by nature but also three extra backpacks that you didn’t even open.

DISCLAIMER: None of these pictures are mine. Please, visit this link for the rightful credits. If your picture has been posted on weheartit without your permission or without crediting, please let me know so I can credit you here.

↬ summary: Y/N and Namjoon meet again after ending their seven year-long relationship.

↬ genre: short au; sad

↬ word count: 2.8k

↬ warnings: -

It took you three hours to finally make up your mind and dress up for the event; you did your make up with shaky hands and it wasn’t until your boyfriend showed up that you calmed down. He didn’t know what had upset you and he asked you if you wanted to stay at home.

“I’m sure she won’t mind,” he’d said.

But you knew she would. Your best friend would hold such resentment inside of her that she would never be able to forgive you. You had to go.

Now that you’re at your best friend and her fiancée house, you wonder why you didn’t accept your boyfriend’s suggestion to stay at home. Thankfully, he still feels a bit unease so he stays by your side as your best friend’s fiancée and your boyfriend talk about silly things that you don’t really care about.

It’s not the food that’s being served that’s bothering you, even though it’s tasteless. It’s not the women talking loudly about their own lives as mothers while your best friend takes in every advice she can, which are still pretty lame conversations. It’s not the men talking about how hard parenthood is for them since their babies arrived. However, you know they’re being drama queens. No. Your blood doesn’t run cold because of this baby shower, but because of the man standing on the other side of the room, holding a glass of champagne in his right hand while listening carefully to what the ladies are talking about. Your best friend amongst them.

Namjoon has a smile on his face, the dimples are showing and you know the kind of effect that sweet face has on people because you'd experienced it first hand for almost seven years. The ladies surrounded Namjoon must feel heard, cared about. But he isn’t really paying attention. Yes, he cares about your best friend as much as you do and he must’ve been listening cautiously to what she had to say but he doesn’t care anymore. You’ve noticed his eyes lingering on you a few times since he’d arrived.

At first, you wondered if he was going to approach you but you should’ve known better. Your relationship’s known by most people in here but not by your current boyfriend. He doesn’t know the history that unfolds between you and Namjoon. No one really does, those who know have only discovered the surface. They wouldn’t know about the scars that still lay invisible yet burning under your skin.

Your boyfriend laughs as he presses your waist with tenderness. You smile, though you haven’t heard a single word of what he’d just said. It must’ve been something funny since your best friend’s fiancée is laughing as well. However, their sense of humor is… questionable.

“Am I right, Y/N?” your boyfriend asks. You look over at him, hoping that he isn’t waiting for an answer but both men’s eyes lay on you.

“Of course you are,” you assure with a smile on your face and, just like that, your boyfriend carries on with his conversation.

You catch Namjoon’s eyes on you, but he looks away just as fast.

Namjoon’s ears have become numb to the empty conversation that’s been going on for almost an hour. It’s not that he doesn’t care about a baby’s weird sleep time or that the clothes store downtown’s having a big sale at the moment, he just doesn’t want to listen to this kind of conversation at the moment. If he had you next to him, it’d be a different story.

He pushes the thought of you resting your head on his shoulder while listening to this talk away. He doesn’t need this kind of pain. Plus, he needs to concentrate on putting a smile on his face while he pretends to be paying attention so that you believe that he was looking over at you by accident.

You did look miserable laughing at your new boyfriend’s joke, though. Namjoon’s too far away to be able to listen to the conversation flowing between your boyfriend and his friend’s fiancée, but he knows you like the back of his hand. He’s discovered every expression, every detail, every corner of your soul and he knows for sure that you aren’t happy with him.

So why are you dating that guy instead of being with him?

“Namjoon,” one of the ladies call. The attention turns towards him and he begs that she doesn’t ask anything related to the conversation’s been going on for the last five minutes. “When are you going to settle down?”

It was too loud.

Well, not loud enough to stop the conversation between the men next to you, but loud enough for you to hear. Maybe if you hadn’t been eavesdropping for the last couple of minutes, you wouldn’t have heard a single thing, but who knows?

Your heart stops for a second the moment the words reach your ears. You don’t expect Namjoon to answer right away and he doesn’t. You don’t want to feel sorry for him, but you do. The lady, who must be around your age, must find Namjoon handsome and she might be interested in him, that could be the reason behind that uncomfortable question, but she should’ve thought better than triggering awful memories in him--- And you.

“Babe,” you hear your boyfriend call and you look over at him disconnected. You’d forgotten he was standing beside you with his arms around your waist. He doesn’t notice. “We’re going to the wine cellar, do you want to come?” You shake your head automatically. It had taken him long enough to visit his favorite place with your best friend’s fiancée. “Okay. We won’t be long,” he promises with a kiss on your forehead before leaving.

You’re left standing in the room alone. Awkwardness is written all over your body, unable to put your hands in the right position. Everyone around you is having their own conversations, so is Namjoon, who isn’t looking at you now. You missed his response, and maybe it's for the best.

After considering it for five seconds, your legs move to the only place in this big house that you’ve memorized.

The library is still as beautiful as you remember it. You haven’t been here for a long time; seeing the sun lay on all the books covering the walls creates such a magical scene that it brings you back a bit of calmness. You used to come here often until you and Namjoon broke up. The split-up took place days before your best friend told you she was pregnant; you still hadn’t told her about what had happened between you and Namjoon. You tried to wear a smile on your face for her but it didn’t work. She knew something was wrong right off the bat so you had to come clean before she tried to invite Namjoon over and you had to face him.

You wish you had been a better friend, but you were emotionally drained and there was no way you could put yourself back together without falling apart seconds later.

Then, you met your boyfriend. Well, you didn’t actually meet him. He’d been your coworker for six months, and after failing every attempt you made to get the strength that you once had back, you decided to give him a chance. It happened two months after your break up. Some said you’d moved too fast. And you felt it was true, but you didn’t see any other way out.

“Figured I’d find you here,” his voice feels like someone has just thrown you freezing water. You lose the ability to talk as Namjoon stands next to you, facing the books just like you. He has two glasses of champagne and hands you one. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

That’s the last question you’ve ever imagined you’d hear from Namjoon. It sounds so bitter that you take a sip of champagne to gather the strength to answer.

It’s the first time you find yourself alone with Namjoon after you two broke up. Though you did meet briefly a few times before, it was way different from today. You would barely see him coming and leaving the apartment to pick up his stuff because you figured it’d best for your emotional state to stay as far away from that place as possible, at least as long as Namjoon’s things were still there. Your best friend and your mom covered for you the last time he called because he’d forgotten something.

Though the apartment is now empty from his belongings, as much as it hurts to admit it, his presence lingers like a ghost.

“At the wine cellar,” you reply. You clear your throat since your voice sounded unnatural--- Hurt.

“Guess he found a friend, huh?” he inquires lightly, referring to your best friend’s fiancée. He was never able to get Namjoon into enjoying the same things he did, with your new boyfriend everything was different from the moment they met. However, you aren’t sure that he likes your boyfriend more than he likes Namjoon. “Hopefully your boyfriend can put up with him.”

You gaze at Namjoon. Something fires up inside you. It’s not what he said, but the way he said it. How can he stand next to you, with a glass of champagne in his hand, his dimples about to show and talk about your boyfriend as if nothing had happened between you two? As if you hadn’t broken up months ago after trying so long to keep your relationship alive? As if you hadn’t just cried hours ago and had to re-do your make up?

You drink the rest of the champagne and turn around.

“Hey, hey,” Namjoon steps in front of you. His eyes filled with worry as you look away, too afraid you may break down again. “I’m sorry if I said something that bothered you.”

You fight against the urge to put your hands over your ears like a little kid.

“It’s fine, Namjoon,” you say instead, not even trying to sound convincing. “I’m just tired,” you continue, facing his gaze. Every trail of lightness has worn off.

Namjoon sighs, his expression changes. He knows you’re lying.

“Can we just talk?” 

“Talk about what?” you ask. You’re surprised by the fact that your voice isn’t shaking, though your hands are, which you’ve hidden behind your back.

Namjoon stays silent for a few seconds, analyzing your face. Maybe he’s trying to find out if you’re being serious.

“About us,” he murmurs carefully. “Don’t you think we deserve to talk?”

You look at the window on your right. The sun’s still up, the sky’s blue and you wish you were somewhere else enjoying this uncommon winter weather.

“You didn’t even give me a chance to tell you how I felt,” Namjoon goes on and you can tell he’s been holding on to this resentment for way too long. You shouldn't have come to this place alone, you should’ve gone with your boyfriend to hear boring talks about wine. “Every time I showed up at the apartment, you either locked yourself in the bathroom or your mom was there instead of you.”

It was true. You’d rather be locked up in the bathroom than seeing him carrying away all the things you two have built up over the past seven years.

“So, can we have that conversation now?” he shrugs. You look back at him. “What happened?” he whispers, shaking his head as if he can’t believe that he’s standing in front of you without being your partner. “I thought we were fine.”

You let out a laugh, which confuses Namjoon.

“Are you serious?” you ask. “I can’t believe you have the audacity to come here and ask me why we drifted apart after I’d told you so many times that what he had wasn’t enough,” your voice starts to shake but you can’t let yourself stop. If you do, the tears will come down and you can’t allow it. “I’ve spent so many nights, awake, waiting for you to come home to have a little conversation, and every time you arrived you went straight to bed. I tried so hard to make our relationship as fun as it used to be but every time you turned me down because you were too tired---“

“You do know that I have work to do, right?” he interrupts and you hate him for it because next time you open your mouth, you’ll break down crying. “You knew the kind of job that I have---“

“Of course I did,” you say. No sign of tears, yet. “And I tried to keep up with your work line but I couldn’t.”

“You didn’t even try,” he reproaches. You’ve never heard him say something similar. “You just left without saying a word,” you shake your head, not believing what he’s saying. “And now you’re dating someone else and you come here with that person, how do you think that makes me feel?”

His words cause such intense pain in your chest that tears come down. You wipe them as fast as you can, but it’s obvious that Namjoon sees them because regret is now written all over his face.

“I tried to tell you how I felt,” you whisper with your eyes fixed on his white shirt, it hurts less than looking into his eyes. “I wanted a life with you, Namjoon,” you take a shaky breath and you blink fast as you remember how sure you were that Namjoon was it. He was going to be the one to wait for you at the end of the altar, he’d be the one you’d read your vows to--- You even had a slight idea of what you wanted to tell him, “I wanted a family with you,” you confess and face his stare. You can see how your words shock him. His mouth slightly open and his eyes seem bigger. 

“You never told me this,” he says in a low voice.

That’s true.

You smile with sadness, looking away for a second.

“I knew I had to let go of that idea when I saw how busy you've become,” your voice doesn’t sound shaky and though your cheeks are wet, your body’s calm. It’s as if your mind’s at peace. “I knew there was no way I could bring that up because you spent too much time away from home. I don’t blame you, though,” you add before he gets the chance to interrupt you. “I know it’s your job and you love what you do but---“ You shrugged. “I was not made for that life, Namjoon. I ceased messaging you late at night because I'd fall asleep before you arrived. I quit looking for art exhibitions every weekend. I stopped trying because you’d stopped trying with us, too.”

Silence fills the room. Namjoon’s taking in all the information, maybe diving into his memories and realizing all the signs he’d missed. You know how hurt he must be after finding out what your hopes were, you knew Namjoon’s biggest dream was to become a father, and, giving the type of relationship you two had, he had the same expectations.

You shake your head. There’s too much pain.

“I never knew---“ Namjoon murmurs, “I’m so sorry, Y/N--- I--- I don’t even know what to say,” You nod. You’re ready to go home, but Namjoon still has something more to say. “Y/N---“ he calls and waits for you to meet his eyes, whatever he’s going to say, you know it’ll hit you like an arrow to your heart. “We can try--- We can try again.”

You close your eyes, looking down for a second, shaking your head before you’re able to speak.

“No, we can’t,” you reply, surprised at the confidence in your voice even though everything inside you is falling apart.

“But---“

“Namjoon, stop,” you beg. “I’m not made for that life,” you repeat. “You’ll find someone who is,” you add. “I’m sorry,” these last words come out so weak that you aren’t sure Namjoon heard you as you pass him.

He doesn’t stop you this time and you don’t expect him to. After all, he respects your decision even if it breaks him in pieces. Deep down, he knows that you’re right and he shouldn’t expect anything from you, not after missing so many signs.

DISCLAIMER: None of these pictures are mine. Please, visit this link for the rightful credits. If your picture has been posted on weheartit without your permission or without crediting, please let me know so I can credit you here.

↬ summary: Y/N dives into the past when he met Jungkook, his unforgettable love.

↬ genre: short au; fluff; summer love; letters

↬ word count: 470 (part 3)

↬ warnings: mention of parents having arguments, divorce, one of the parents leaving, 17yo drinking (has nothing to do with what I have previously stated)

↬ part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7

“August 3, 1964.

Dad left.

I came home after hanging out with Jungkook and Mom was cooking. I knew there was something wrong right away. The silence. The heavy air. Mom didn’t even look at me when I crossed the door and I realized she was too concentrated on making dinner.

“Dad left,” she stated after I had asked her where he was.

I thought she meant he’d gone to the store to get cigarettes but I got rid of that idea fast. I was being too naïve.

I crossed the living room and when I reach the hall to the bedrooms I saw that my parents’ door was slightly open. I got in without thinking twice and my eyes lay on the open wardrobe. All my Dad’s clothes were gone.

The pain that I felt on my chest as my entire body went numb could only be named as heartbreak.

He broke my heart.”

I recall the moment I wrote this as though it was yesterday. 

It was very late at night when I decided to pour my feelings on paper. I could barely keep my eyes open; not because of tiredness but because of how swallowed they were from all the crying I’d done silently. Moreover, it was the time I learned how to cry without anyone noticing. It was good, I guess because I’d do it again in the future.

After writing and saving the entry inside the chest, I didn’t want to go to bed. I wasn’t sleepy. I needed something to keep my mind off of what was going on. I climbed out of the window and walked to Jungkook’s house. 

I knew where his bedroom was. I approached the window and knocked on it carefully. I wish I could say that my heart was beating fast due to the excitement of sneaking out; but I was so worn out that I was unable to feel anything, I felt like a zombie. My hands and legs would move without me noticing.

It didn’t take Jungkook much to open the curtains. His sleepy face, which would’ve made me die of tenderness at any other moment, changed into a surprised expression. I guess of all the people he expected to see outside his window during a summer night, I was at the bottom list. Then, he realized I wasn’t the smiley person he’d seen earlier and he opened the window.

“Hey…” he whispered. And hearing his sweet voice was enough for me to break down crying again. “Hey, what happened, Y/N?” He reached for my hand and helped me climb inside his bedroom.

I was expecting him to shut me up because I’d wake up his parents but he hugged me and caressed my hair until I had stopped crying.

DISCLAIMER: None of these pictures are mine. Please, visit this link for the rightful credits. If your picture has been posted on weheartit without your permission or without crediting, please let me know so I can credit you here.

↬ summary: Y/N dives into the past when he met Jungkook, his unforgettable love.

↬ genre: short au; fluff; summer love; letters

↬ word count: 470 (part 2)

↬ warnings: mention of parents having arguments, divorce, one of the parents leaving, 17yo drinking (has nothing to do with what I have previously stated)

↬ part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7

“August 3, 1964

Dad left.

I came home after hanging out with San and Mom was cooking. I knew there was something wrong right away. The silence. The heavy air. Mom didn’t even look at me when I crossed the door and I realized she was too concentrated on making dinner.

“Dad left,” she stated after I had asked her where he was.

I thought she meant he’d gone to the store to get cigarettes but I got rid of that idea fast. I was being too naïve.

I crossed the living room and when I reach the hall to the bedrooms I saw that my parents’ door was slightly open. I got in without thinking twice and my eyes lay on the open wardrobe. All my Dad’s clothes were gone.

The pain that I felt on my chest as my entire body went numb could only be named as heartbreak.

He broke my heart.”

I recall the moment I wrote this as though it was yesterday. 

It was very late at night when I decided to pour my feelings on paper. I could barely keep my eyes open; not because of tiredness but because of how swallowed they were from all the crying I’d done silently. Moreover, it was the time I learned how to cry without anyone noticing. It was good, I guess because I’d do it again in the future.

After writing and saving the entry inside the chest, I didn’t want to go to bed. I wasn’t sleepy. I needed something to keep my mind off of what was going on. I climbed out of the window and walked to San’s house. 

I knew where his bedroom was. I approached the window and knocked on it carefully. I wish I could say that my heart was beating fast due to the excitement of sneaking out; but I was so worn out that I was unable to feel anything, I felt like a zombie. My hands and legs would move without me noticing.

It didn’t take San much to open the curtains. His sleepy face, which would’ve made me die of tenderness at any other moment, changed into a surprised expression. I guess of all the people he expected to see outside his window during a summer night, I was at the bottom list. Then, he realized I wasn’t the smiley person he’d seen earlier and he opened the window.

“Hey…” he whispered. And hearing his sweet voice was enough for me to break down crying again. “Hey, what happened, Y/N?” He reached for my hand and helped me climb inside his bedroom.

I was expecting him to shut me up because I’d wake up his parents but he hugged me and caressed my hair until I had stopped crying.

DISCLAIMER: None of these pictures are mine. Please, visit this link for the rightful credits. If your picture has been posted on weheartit without your permission or without crediting, please let me know so I can credit you here.

↬ summary: Y/N dives into the past when he met Jungkook, his unforgettable love.

↬ genre: short au; fluff; summer love; letters

↬ word count: 616 (part 2)

↬ warnings: mention of parents having arguments, divorce, one of the parents leaving, 17yo drinking (has nothing to do with what I have previously stated)

↬ part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7

“July 17, 1964

It’s past midnight and my parents are asleep so I’m going to be quick and careful. I don’t want to wake them up.

I’ve never realized how easy it is to forget about your problems when you’re having such a good time with someone.

Jungkook and I spent the entire day together, walking around town. We bought ice cream and sat at the park to talk.

It was such a beautiful day, there were no clouds and the sky was so blue I wish I had taken a picture but that’d mean taking my eyes away from Jungkook--- Impossible.

I learned a lot from him today. Despite being shy at first, he does talk a lot. He moved to town with his parents because his Dad got a job here. His Dad’s best friend owns a farm and he needed some help and when he heard that Jungkook’s family was having financial trouble, he offered the job position.

He said that it was out of the blue and it was hard for him to leave his friends behind but there was nothing he could you. Nevertheless, he was really grateful.

I noticed that he was sincere. The way he talked, so carefree yet choosing the right words to express his feelings the best way possible had me captivated the same way the New Year’s firework show captivates everyone’s attention.

Jungkook told me that he barely sees his Dad now and misses him.

Then, I found myself talking about my family. I did it as though Jungkook had been my friend for years and not someone I met the previous day. It was so easy, opening up to him. He made me feel heard and cared about.

I told him about my Dad and Mom arguing every day. I told him that I was sure that they were going to get a divorce, that it was just a matter of time.

“Maybe they’re trying to fix their problems,” he suggested.

“They keep hurting each other by doing so,” I said.

I didn’t tell him that my parents weren’t only hurting one another but also me. I didn’t tell him about how many nights I’d stayed awake because my brain wouldn’t allow me to rest even after the arguments had ceased. I didn’t tell him that part of me wished my Dad would leave us alone because I was afraid he’d believe I’m selfish.

Maybe I am.

Maybe that’s why I don’t feel any regret from coming back late or ashamed by the fact that I’m looking forward to seeing Jungkook again.”

A sad smile appears on my face as I close this second short entry. I remember my sweaty palms while sitting next to Jungkook, wondering how someone as handsome as him would be interested in someone like me. I remember asking myself if it was all a dream.

I also remember the pain I felt at home… And the shelter that Jungkook provided for me.

I fold the paper back into place slowly. I have to be careful. These papers contain such an important part of my life, the most wondrous time of my life, I must say. Well, at least one of them. The other wondrous time in my life is when I got married.

Instead of picking the letter right behind the one I just read, I skip a few and pick a random one. I can feel the emotions coming back and I don’t want to crumble before they arrive. I want to be whole and the only way to do so is by not reading more than needed.

DISCLAIMER: None of these pictures are mine. Please, visit this link for the rightful credits. If your picture has been posted on weheartit without your permission or without crediting, please let me know so I can credit you here.

↬ summary: Y/N dives into the past when he met San, his unforgettable love.

↬ genre: short au; fluff; summer love; letters

↬ word count: 616 (part 2)

↬ warnings: mention of parents having arguments, divorce, one of the parents leaving, 17yo drinking (has nothing to do with what I have previously stated)

↬ part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7

“July 17, 1964 It’s past midnight and my parents are asleep so I’m going to be quick and careful. I don’t want to wake them up. I’ve never realized how easy it is to forget about your problems when you’re having such a good time with someone. San and I spent the entire day together, walking around town. We bought ice cream and sat at the park to talk. It was such a beautiful day, there were no clouds and the sky was so blue I wish I had taken a picture but that’d mean taking my eyes away from San--- Impossible. I learned a lot from him today. He moved to town with his parents because his Dad got a job here. His Dad’s best friend owns a farm and he needed some help and when he heard that San’s family was having financial trouble, he offered the job position. He said that it was out of the blue and it was hard for him to leave his friends behind but there was nothing he could you. Nevertheless, he was really grateful. I noticed that he was sincere. The way he talked, so carefree yet choosing the right words to express his feelings the best way possible had me captivated the same way the New Year’s firework show captivates everyone’s attention. San told me that he barely sees his Dad now and misses him. Then, I found myself talking about my family. I did it as though San had been my friend for years and not someone I met the previous day. It was so easy, opening up to him. He made me feel heard and cared about. I told him about my Dad and Mom arguing every day. I told him that I was sure that they were going to get a divorce, that it was just a matter of time. “Maybe they’re trying to fix their problems,” he suggested. “They keep hurting each other by doing so,” I said. I didn’t tell him that my parents weren’t only hurting one another but also me. I didn’t tell him about how many nights I’d stayed awake because my brain wouldn’t allow me to rest even after the arguments had ceased. I didn’t tell him that part of me wished my Dad would leave us alone because I was afraid he’d believe I’m selfish. Maybe I am. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel any regret from coming back late or ashamed by the fact that I’m looking forward to seeing San again.”

DISCLAIMER: None of these pictures are mine. Please, visit this link for the rightful credits. If your picture has been posted on weheartit without your permission or without crediting, please let me know so I can credit you here.

↬ summary: Y/N dives into the past when he met Jungkook, his unforgettable love.

↬ genre: short au; fluff; summer love; letters

↬ word count: 1.3k (part 1)

↬ warnings: mention of parents having arguments, divorce, one of the parents leaving, 17yo drinking (has nothing to do with what I have previously stated)

↬ note: I enjoy writing this au so much that I decided to re-upload it with Jungkook as the main protagonist + few changes.  inspired by cardigan by taylor swift. 

↬ part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7