come find me

if my fingertips will always be floating towards both everything and nothing, never to be met by the graze of another

i am exhausted of myself and my mind

i’m so tired of looking into the eyes of my loved ones and only feeling cold judgment when i know, i know that it can’t be true

their smiles are the most familiar thing to me, the most beautiful thing to me and yet there’s a voice in my head telling me that they don’t give a shit about me, that a million other things in this world are more significant to them than my existence

every day. every day. i’m so exhausted.

i wish i could lay my head down at night without seeing, hearing looped replays of every action, every word that left my lips - did i say too much? did i say too little? did the four words i uttered at 12:04pm make me seem disgusting and ignorant? did i do something wrong? did i do something wrong?