Bitchcraft

let the bodies hit the floor is such a scary song. usually bodies hitting the floor isn’t a good thing but this guy wants it to happen anyway.

and yet he insists there’s nothing wrong with him. haunting

got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Thank god I get to visit Pelican Town

where the fat men at

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

hotel transylvania parking job

"riding my biggest dildo imagining it's you" ok i ah. hm. i don't quite know how to say this but. perhaps instead consider a thimble

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.