For years I asked, pleaded for a chance to own my work. Instead I was given an opportunity to sign back up to Big Machine Records and ‘earn’ one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in. I walked away because I knew once I signed that contract, Scott Borchetta would sell the label, thereby selling me and my future. I had to make the excruciating choice to leave behind my past. Music I wrote on my bedroom floor and videos I dreamed up and paid for from the money I earned playing in bars, then clubs, then arenas, then stadiums. 

Some fun facts about today’s news: I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years. 

Like when Kim Kardashian orchestrated an illegally recorded snippet of a phone call to be leaked and then Scooter got his two clients together to bully me online about it. (See photo) Or when his client, Kanye West, organized a revenge porn music video which strips my body naked. Now Scooter has stripped me of my life’s work, that I wasn’t given an opportunity to buy. Essentially, my musical legacy is about to lie in the hands of someone who tried to dismantle it.

This is my worst case scenario. This is what happens when you sign a deal at fifteen to someone for whom the term ‘loyalty’ is clearly just a contractual concept. And when that man says ‘Music has value’, he means its value is beholden to men who had no part in creating it. 

When I left my masters in Scott’s hands, I made peace with the fact that eventually he would sell them. Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine the buyer would be Scooter. Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever. 

Thankfully, I am now signed to a label that believes I should own anything I create. Thankfully, I left my past in Scott’s hands and not my future. And hopefully, young artists or kids with musical dreams will read this and learn about how to better protect themselves in a negotiation. You deserve to own the art you make.

I will always be proud of my past work. But for a healthier option, Lover will be out August 23. 

Sad and grossed out,

💔

have 3 achievable goals a day: having a laundry list of things to do everyday is super unrealistic, and you just end up feeling bad about yourself because you didn’t accomplish your goals for the day.

leave your sundays open: i love sundays because they’re my day to chill out and catch up on school work that i wasn’t able to finish during the week.

recognize when you’re at your emotional limits: forcing yourself to get work done when you are unable to comprehend your study material does not benefit anyone.

learn how to say no: people will ask you for your time and it will stretch you to the limit, whether it be at your job, in your extracurriculars, or in your personal life. know when to step back and say no.

take care of yourself physically: take breaks, go for walks, shower regularly, get enough sleep, eat healthy, see your friends

celebrate your accomplishments: go out to eat with friends after a big exam, indulge in a night off after a busy week with some netflix and wine

make a study plan beforehand: it can be daunting to see how much work you need to put in to a class or task beforehand, but this allows you to spread your work evenly so you don’t become overwhelmed.

learn how to ask for help: it is very rare that people make it through school, whether it be high school or university or any graduate program, without needing the advice of others or just a kind soul to vent to. find that person.

never forget your hobbies: you will need things that keep you sane. if you love to play music, write, play volleyball, or cook, make you sure you don’t lose these things. they will become your escape when times get tough.

24.11.18