the (not so secret) secret one

“Bring Me the Sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones.”

We’re half way through the new year and it feels like it’s moving in slow motion. The concept of time and all it dictates is so weird to think about. But anyways...

This devotional reminds us to look to Jesus when you’re facing problems. Call out to Him when you feel like the waves and worries of this world are overtaking you. This analogy of facing problems like waves in the ocean or waves in a storm reminds me of many relatable stories in the Bible. Peter walking on water, Jesus calming the storm, etc. But most recently I went surfing with my sister in Hawaii last October. In all honesty, I was pretty scared. I’m not the biggest fan of being out in the ocean just on a floating piece of foam. I get nervous just thinking what could be under the water or what if I totally ate it and didn’t have the board to hold on to so I drown because I’m not a strong swimmer. Crazy things like that.

But when I was out in the water literally feeling the waves crashing, the rain falling on me, then having to dive through waves all I could think about was the song Oceans by Hillsong. (lol don’t laugh at me. honestly at like almost any given hour of the day if I’m not focusing super hard on something and if I’m in a good mood I’ll most likely have a song playing in my head.) Look up the lyrics of the song and that was literally how I felt when my little body was bobbing up and down in those waves. I was scared. Worried that something might happen to me. I got hit by a bunch of waves. Some I ducked under/into, others were small that I could float on top of, then there were the ones that literally knocked me off the board and I felt like I wouldn’t recover. But the beauty of it was that exact experience of enduring all of that to get a couple good waves and one heck of an experience.

Just like our walk with God. He will lead us to places we never thought we could go. Where our faith is without boarders because we trust in Him and we trust in the places He has taken us before. He’ll lead us into deeper waters because we have the confidence in Him to take care of us.

Seriously after that surfing experience I couldn’t look at the ocean and hear the song Oceans the same way. It gave me new insight and a deeper experience with Christ.

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. December 30

To say that 2020 has thrown me for a loop is an understatement. I’m sure there are countless of others who have experienced worse than me, but 2020 really taught me to see the good in the little and simple things.

What 2020 taught me:

to be grateful for good health & strength

Corona virus is a sneaky little beeech and I’m so thankful my loved ones stayed safe thus far

to hold my loved ones tight (or in COVID times the appropriate term would probably be to cherish them and not hold them lol)

my grandma turned 90 this year and because of lock down→social distancing→working from home I was able to spend an extended amount of time with her

We have countless family members and friends who are front liners

to celebrate the little wins that lead to big wins

Failures eventually lead to successes

to humbly acknowledge my accomplishments

I finished fieldwork II during a pandemic

I graduated grad school (minus a graduation)

Passed my boards exam

Got my first job

to believe that I am worthy of good things happening to me

Considering my past, it has been hard for me to find the good in others and to accept that good things can actually happen to me

Kyle and I got engaged this year and he’s seriously a huge source of where I draw my happiness from. He makes me a better person and I am so blessed to be loved by him

Accept the value of problems in this life, considering them pure joy. James 1 talks about how we should view problems and difficulties we encounter in our lives. We should consider it pure joy and be thankful for our problems because they teach us how to overcome and they give us the knowledge on how to face other or similar problems in the future. We need to go through problems to gain that knowledge until we lack nothing because we’ve learned all we could from the problems we’ve faced.

To know that someone cares so deeply about us that they are concerned with every detail in our lives can either be scary or comforting, depending on how you look at it. That might sound a little stalker-ish if you’ve had bad experiences with people who misuse information you give them or who might be abusive and turn things against you to manipulate you. Buuuut that’s be side the point.... lol. It could also be seen as comforting if you think about it from Jesus’ perspective. He cares so much about us that He even notices the number of hairs on our head. He wants to be so involved in our lives to make us feel safe and complete. So why not come to Him and tell Him our cares and our worries. We already vent and rant to friends on a daily basis. Instead or in addition to, we can turn to Jesus and involve Him in our daily lives. Fix our gaze on Him even though we can’t physically see Him. He cares for you.

December 2

“The ultimate protection against sinking during life’s storms is devoting time to develop your friendship with Me.”

This morning I could not find Lamentations. I was about to give up but then decided to give in and check the table of contents. The song I had learned in 4th grade to help me memorize the books of the Bible didn’t help me this time! It’s because I glossed over Lamentations and Ezekiel when singing the song in my head. But the verses in Lamentations were so wonderful to read:

“Problems are part of life. They are inescapable, woven into the very fabric of this fallen world. You tend to go into problem-solving mode all too readily, acting as if you have the capacity to fix everything. This is a habitual response, so automatic that it bypasses your conscious thinking. Not only does this habit frustrate you, it also distances you from Me. Some humbling words right there. I definitely find myself in situations like that where I try to fix the problem before consulting God. Then in my own weakness, I’m unable to find a solution and get frustrated. In our vespers on Friday, we talked about putting our faith and trust in God. That is something I definitely need to do more. I often rely on my own strength and knowledge when trying to solve the problems in my life. When instead I should be casting my cares on Him and trusting that all things will work together for good.

An attitude of gratitude makes it easier to communicate with God. I guess I never thought of it that way. When we are preoccupied with thanking God, we have no time to worry or complain. Then with a continued attitude of gratitude and constant thanksgiving, negative patterns eventually get weaker.

In this the COVID year of 2020, having a continuous attitude of gratitude has been difficult to say the least. Finding the silver lining when you’re faced with many struggles gets hard. I could sit here and list all the bad things that happened in our family this year, but I know someone somewhere would have had it worse. I could sit here and sulk instead of doing something productive about the situation. I could sit here and blame God for everything that’s happened. ORRRRR.... I could be thankful that

I’m alive

I’m healthy and breathing

my sister and parents are healthy & alive

my boyfriend and his family are healthy & alive

I can walk outside with my dog

I have a job to start soon

a car that gets me where I need to go

family & friends who support me

a warm blanket and bed to rest on

a roof over my head

food to eat

I loved the analogy of looking for tiny treasures throughout the day as if they were like little flowers. As we go about the day we can pluck the little treasures and by the end of the day we’d have a lovely bouquet.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to see the good in things and expect good to be given to me. I feel like I’ve been dealt some pretty nasty hands over the years and accepting that there will be good in someone/something really takes effort. So this was a good reminder that God continues to give us blessings- big and small- to brighten our days. Even something as simple as peace for when we sleep is a blessing (Psalm 4:8).

I accepted a part time job today!

I’ve been slacking on doing daily devotional and expressing my thoughts on the readings. But my bf and I haven’t been slacking on our daily prayers together. I’ve been praying about jobs pretty much since the day I started studying for my NBCOT exam. I put pressure on myself to pass so that I could get a job. I’ve been stressing and stress praying about it for what has felt like a long time now. I am so thankful to God for this opportunity to work and put my degree to use!