Hymn to Aphrodite of Heartbreak
Aphrodite, You are a war goddess, a goddess of suffering
And I have felt it inside me this month
Heartbreak has pulled my insides out
Exposed them to air, flayed quivering nerves
It has left me listless, prone to sleep, adverse to food
When I cry it is involuntary - great heaving sobs, incomprehensible weeping
Noises punch from my chest like blows
My eyes are swollen shut with tears - I am made helpless on the battlefield.
You have poisoned me, Goddess.
You waited until my guard was down, resplendent in the pleasure and happiness of a relationship
And You tipped Your poison onto my mouth while I slept
Contaminated my organs with longing and desire
Even my hair stinks of love, Goddess
Hangs delirious on my forehead -
I dreamed of him across country, ran to him at school breaks
Fantasized a home together, kissed him under the shade of Your beloved aspens
What a wonderful hallucination You have caused.
Now that poison takes hold, but he is gone
He has left me to sweat out the toxin You have given me
Which has brought me through shaking withdrawals - the scrolling of social media, the leftover “what ifs” has at times physically turned my stomach.
Sometimes I lie on the floor and think of nothing at all.
Those who doubt Your blood-lust epithet have not considered
The sheer crushing agony of an ending love
And how lucky for them - unfortunately, I now know better.
Hail to You - I will purge Your poison, and try again.
