What???

i was actually born as a CD but a wizard turned me into a human to teach me a lesson

The old world blues DLC for New Vegas makes no sense on so many levels but that’s why it’s good

Kitten, Mommy may have had a blood hunt called against her by the prince. No cuddles tonight

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

Redeemed villain who can’t let the speech pattern go

never going to be over that time I was trying to explain polyamory to my mum, and she said "I just don't understand how someone could be in love with two people at once" and I gave her my the-cognitive-dissonance-is-causing-me-physical-pain face and she said "what??" and I very quietly said "mother....you had an affair...."

pitch for my new tarot card “Do Not Panic”