Oh, oui j'ai pleuré mais ce jour-là Je ne pleurera

1. Set aside some time to think through why you feel you’re not good enough, or don’t deserve to be loved. Then actively counter each of those reasons. This is a really crucial step for you to take.

2. Make a list of at least 10 of your positive traits and strengths. Each day, add at least 2 more items to your list.

3. Commit to only saying positive and affirming things about yourself – that is, your face, your body, your personality, your abilities, and so on.

4. Decide to hold your head high, smile, look people in the eye, and always speak slowly, and with confidence.

5.  Have the courage to list and face some of the worst mistakes you’ve made, or some of the challenges you’ve found hard to overcome. Then, gently admit to yourself that you are not perfect. In fact, none of us is perfect, and we all start from different places in life. What has been hard for you may have been easy for someone else. Choose to not be so hard on yourself – forgive yourself for EVERYTHING and then just choose to let it go!

6.  Go through your closet and experiment with your clothes until you find something that you feel really good in. Choose to wear that – and to buy other outfits that make you feel good about yourself and your appearance. Get rid of clothes that lower your self-confidence or self-esteem.

7. Learn to listen to your body and mind, and treat what they are saying with kindness and respect. If you are tired, rest. If you are feeling worn out or emotionally drained, then withdraw and consciously seek to build yourself up.

8. Do something nice for yourself each day. Buy yourself some flowers, some new clothes, some music … or go for a jog, get your hair or nails done …. Whatever makes you feel pampered and special and loved.

9. Give yourself permission to say “no” to the things that make you unhappy, or drain your energy.

We’ve all heard the saying “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” and know that we’re supposed to grow from past mistakes, but how exactly does that happen? Here are 10 lessons to learn from your past relationships:

  1.    Accepting that you aren’t perfect. If you made some mistakes in your past relationships (and you almost certainly have), the lesson to learn is that you’re human and therefore not perfect. Reflecting on past mistakes isn’t an excuse to beat ourselves up and be critical, but to accept that we aren’t perfect and that it’s ok to have made some mistakes. You’ll continue to make mistakes in the future, so accept that you’ll always try your best and you can’t be perfect all the time.

2.    Identifying your weaknesses. Reflecting on past relationships can help us to understand what our weaknesses are. Maybe you feel that you didn’t ever voice your true opinion, so they lesson you can learn is that you need to work on communication in future relationships. By understanding where we went wrong and what our weaknesses are, we can work on them and improve in future relationships.

3.    Identifying your strengths. Just as we can look back and see what areas needed improvement in our past relationships, we can also see the areas where we shone. Maybe you were always the one making an effort to keep things romantic or you were the one that always initiated talking. These are great strengths to identify and carry forward to your next relationships.