Hey

I currently have beef with my sister and we haven’t spoken directly in a week. As I’m getting older I think I need her in my life less. I have so much resentment towards her and our childhood

They somehow made tumblr even uglier

I hate when I start thinking about my childhood and how my sister terrorized me and everyone in my family she was exhausting to be around and I really want to tell her how awful it was being around her during our childhood

I’ve been losing a lot weight and I think my sister is now trying to lose weight because she doesn’t want to be the biggest sister it’s a bad thought but she’s said that to me once when we were younger and when I lose weight she tries to lose too so she’s always smaller than me

A friend of mine created this account for me when I was in 8th grade (13/14 years old) now I’m 28…

Sometimes I think about the last year of my relationship and how she really didn’t like me. It kinda hurts my heart. Why stay with someone you don’t like and why did I put up with it.

As someone that was “abandoned” by her mother I really always felt bad for my mom. I saw it as she was taken from me and she was so young when she married my much older father. Even as a kid I was surprised and horrified by a 20 and 33 yo being married. I don’t have ill will against my mom I wish she had time to be a woman before being a mother and wife.

I’ve been thinking about my ex a lot lately. I don’t want to speak to her or miss her but I miss being loved. Consistently and openly.

I’m having what some may call baby fever I understand it now. I think I just haven’t been near kids and babies in a long time. I keep thinking about it must be crazy to love someone so much you want their kids

Looking back on it I’m so glad my ex and I immediately stopped talking when we broke up because this slow motion break up y’all so sounds like hell

I’m also surrounded by people that constantly see them sacrificing as reason to be deserving of love when that’s not love nor loving someone. Also why do you think me seeing you be miserable and say it’s for me why would that make me love you it doesn’t even make me respect you.

As I’m getting older spending time with very insecure people is grating my god you can’t find ONE thing you like about yourself

I still don’t know if I’m attracted to men I tried being on hinge and having men as an option but my god they don’t ask questions they don’t engage in conversations and that’s how they are in person too I feel like my soul could leave my body and a program left inside of me only to ask questions and they wouldn’t notice

I’m ******** again and in a perfect world I would get help but I wouldn’t have a job and it would cause even bigger issues. So I’ll just say ******** and hope it passes

I might start dating again just so I have something to do and someone to talk to