Emily Grace Buck

Autism comes on a spectrum. Some of us require more support than others. Some of us are better at masking/fitting in with our peers. Some of us are nonverbal, while some talk a lot. Some stim openly and publicly, while some don’t.

It’s fine to say “autistic person.” You don’t have to say “person with autism.” Person-first language implies that having autism or referring to us as autistic is bad, when it isn’t. You wouldn’t say “person with shortness” to refer to a short person, would you?

Autism is NOT a mental illness, and it doesn’t need a cure. It is classified as a developmental disorder, not any sort of mental illness. Every autistic person that I’ve talked to has been adamantly against a cure, because there’s nothing wrong with having autism.

There are many different types of stimming. Hand-flapping isn’t the only one. Chewing on things (shirts, chew necklaces, etc), rocking, fidgeting with our hands, playing with a stim toy (tangle, fidget cube, etc), bouncing, tapping, and even vocal stims are also common and valid.

Our special interests are varied. Sure, things like trains or space or dinosaurs may be special interests that a lot of autistic people have, but switch it up a little. My special interests, for example, are rainforests, witchcraft, movies, the Periodic Table, and random fun facts.

While we’re on that topic, special interests are basically like diamonds to us. When I think about my favorite movies or TV shows, I get all happy and I can’t help but smile. I can literally talk about my special interests for so long. Often, after I introduce myself to someone new, I’ll say “Have you seen [insert favorite movie or TV show]?” And if they say they have, my heart will explode and I will just start gushing.

Social skills aren’t the only thing that we can have difficulty with. Some of the hallmark characteristics of autism include having trouble making or keeping friends, not making a lot of eye contact, and speaking in a monotone voice. Please try to add in some symptoms other than just “awkward around people.” Personally, I can only make eye contact with someone if I have a connection to them or if I know them well - and even then it’s so draining. When I try to make eye contact, with anyone else, I look away quickly. It feels strange and difficult and I don’t like it. 

For the love of all things holy, do not use the term “mental r*t*rdation.” It’s outdated and isn’t used anymore by doctors. Plus, you know, the r-word is a slur. 

The world is strange and hard to understand sometimes for us. It feels like allistics have these rules that I have to follow that are so dumb, and sometimes I don’t even know the rules, but I’m expected to follow them anyway. Oftentimes, I will say something that sounds funny in my head, but when it comes out of my mouth it wasn’t funny and no one acknowledges it.

Allistics can be sooooo frustrating. If you’re going to write an autistic person accurately, you’ll want to add in some annoying and unwarranted comments by allistic people. Such as: “You don’t look like you have autism!” “I couldn’t tell you were autistic!” “People with autism are so much better than normal people - they never lie, and are never mean to anyone.” “My child has autism, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I’m so strong for dealing with them!” “Vaccines cause autism.” 

News flash: Autistic people aren’t angels. We can lie. We can cheat. We can be mean just like anyone else can. It all comes down to the individual. We are not perfect little golden children just because we have autism.

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

CUTE LITTLE PANTHER IN SNOW ❄️

Malvolio’s Revolve

The joy of Shakespeare is that even if you see the same play dozens of times, each production is its own, unique experience.

Having said that… there are certain bits of stage business that often crop up in numerous productions. One of my favorites is Malvolio’s revolve.

Just for fun, here are various examples of Malvolio’s revolve that have been captured on film. (If the gifs don’t work, check out my original post here.)

Alec Guinness in the 1970 ITV Saturday Night Theatre production  does the classic dubious, self-conscious revolve, although Sir Toby and his gang are safely behind a hedge and don’t have to hide.

Nicholas Pennell in this 1986 filmed production at the Stratford Festival of Canada executes a confident and rarely-seen double revolve, forcing his peanut gallery to duck out of sight.

In this filmed version of the Renaissance Theatre Company’s 1988 production, Richard Briers executes a very slow , dubious revolve that is notable for being counter-clockwise. In my experience, most Malvolios revolve in a clockwise direction.

Finally, this Stratford Festival production milks the revolve for all it’s worth, with Tom Rooney’s Malvolio turning at just the right speed to miss Sir Andrew’s desperate dash across the stage.