Carcinization, babyyyyy

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

THIS IS WHERE THAT FUCKING MEME COMES FROM?!!!!

ok but he slick af with it

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

homie is this an xmen porno

I see how you could get confused but that's actually me when a member of my Cougar Squad returns to my lair with more salacious dirt on one of my many enemies

That ace moment when you see an xmen porno Cougar Squad gif and all you can think is "ooh those special effects are pretty cool, I wonder how they did that?"

I did it with my powers.

You should use your powers to get a helmet that fits better

It seems like we're just feeding characters to Miss Piggy at this point

I hate targeted ads but I also hate the untargeted gambling & ozempic ads (I dont like gambling and if I lost 10 pounds I'd die of malnutrition) maybe the truth lies somewhere inbetween... all ads are bad

The way people comment about adblock when this post was partially inspired by a bunch of weightloss ads I saw on a real physical subway station

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

Anyone remember basketball? — what happened to that ? Where did it go?

it rolled under the bleachers last week and no one's been able to get it out :/

Well ,I can get it if you ask me . With my long hand

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine