If A Teabag Were A Person, It Would Be Me

It always baffles me how much white people are obsessed with those magic foundations that turn from white/colorless to their ‘custom shade’ when they rub it in, like bbg, they already have your shade lmao you’re fine dw

Idk who needs to hear this but putting ‘objectively’ in front of your opinion doesn’t magically make it true🫶

Harry should have become a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and I’ll forever stand by that

You call it ‘gen z customer service face’, I call it ‘reacting to you throwing a tantrum while you tap your card against the machine and asking (very rudely) why it’s not going through without even a hello.’ Baby the person before you has barely walked away. You just shouted your order (also very rudely) at the barista 2 seconds ago. Your order is not even inputted yet. What are you paying for, air?

Almost gave myself a concussion from a stick of frozen butter falling out of my freezer and had a moment where I realized that it could, in fact, get more embarrassing than when I got a concussion from smacking myself across the face with a cabinet bc my depth perception is shit without my glasses😔😩🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️

If I was president I would for sure fix a whole lot of shit to protect human rights, however pretty high up my list would be to make it a law to tell someone if they need to fix their bangs before taking their photo😀

Me watching a saucy mix of Watch Duty fire tracker app and YouTube pick a deck tarot card readings to tell me if my college housing is gonna burn down (with like everything I own) in LA while I’m back home for winter break bc I’ve never been a chill guy a day in my life

Scrolling through the mugs section on Etsy (I’ve read the word ‘fuck’ so many times it doesn’t seem like a real word anymore)

The concept of Once Upon A Time is so funny to me bc imagine your kid reads basically your biography and is like ‘damn mom, you’re kinda the worst person to ever live? What’s for dinner tho?’