A Perfectly Cromulent Election

Sadly, no one is really surprised when mayoral candidate Jenny Motkaluk's latest press event is just her angrily singing the national anthem for three hours. 

When asked for comment after a recent disastrous “consultation” meeting with the Provincial government, one university faculty representative sent this statement.

After several months and many 'keeping it real' jokes later, Economic Development Winnipeg and Travel Manitoba decide to go with their back up slogan instead.

- “These are all terrible, terrible ideas.” 

Disappointed with the number votes he received last election, Don Woodstock vows to step it up this campaign and only invest in quality props from the finest joke stores.

Hollywood pitch meeting for the Winnipeg mayoral election 2022: "What the Winnipeg voters want is what the kids want to see in the Marvel movies. A large crossover of characters they’ve previously seen in other elections with a dozen or so cameos from fringe candidates, an established villain (Jenny Motkaluk) and a Glen Murray from another dimension where he wants to run."

At the prospect of having to pay back the city of Winnipeg $700000, former CAO Phil Sheegl gets a new job.

In a last ditch effort to win the Fort Whyte by-election the Liberals are now proposing the outcome be decided by a punt, pass, and kick competition.

That’s right Jazz don’t answer their questions, big smile, everybody’s happy.

Will the Premier's new slogan 'On your own without Heather' be as wildly unpopular as 'Together with Heather'?... Only time will tell.

After taking some heat for his infamous shovelling tweet, Jon Reyes makes another attempt at giving his wife the appreciation she deserves.

I just want to make it perfectly clear, the decision to go to remote learning wasn’t ours. Anyone who is inconvenienced by this should blame the educators. We've given them a whole week to address all the safety concerns we couldn't fix in the past two years. I'm sure they'll do fine.

Health Minister Audrey Gordon's new medical triage app fails to get support among healthcare providers. 

- IT'S CAPACITY! DON'T YOU EVEN KNOW CAPACITY WHEN YOU SEE IT?!

I'm sorry. I can't talk to the public right now. I'm wearing a jacuzzi suit. 

It seems the province is changing the isolation requirements once again...