Emb4lmr

sweet pool (2009) - Nitro+CHiRAL

DRAMAtical Murder (2012) - Nitro+CHiRAL

I feel a little crazy because when I first started the game, I had the impression that Seiji had "one-sided" feelings for Daichi but would never tell him out of fear of ruining their friendship, all the while Daichi was a clueless idiot. Like, I was CONVINCED this was going to be a plot point in the game. And yes, I've played NTY!!! so I knew this wasn't gonna be a typical romance BL. Still, I'm convinced that Seiji is just as - if not more than - repressed as Daichi (with some more awareness), but the reason it doesn't seem that way is because we spend a vast majority of the game in Daichi's POV.

This analysis is not exactly going to be linear, but let's start from the beginning. The two friends are out eating and Daichi is complaining about his latest break-up. Seiji tells him to be more selective with who he dates, and to not 'date the first girl who passes you food at a mixer. And don't have sex the day you meet a girl either.'

As well as:

This is something that Seiji reiterates again later in the game:

From what we can see, Seiji is very protective of Daichi and is not exactly thrilled by how quickly he falls in love with women and the way they treat him.

I would like to remind you all that going to Okinawa together instead of canceling was Seiji's idea. Daichi tells him to go with his girlfriend instead, only to find out they'd broken up too. At the time, this is what had me thinking that Seiji had feelings for Daichi:

For a few lines Seiji only responds with ellipses while Daichi woefully complains about their love lives and talks about soulmates etc... of course, Seiji could just be disinterested in this topic. That's certainly what Daichi thinks, as he previously described Seiji as not having much of an appetite for women. He also mentions that Seiji is never really bothered whenever he gets broken up with.

A few days into the experiment, Daichi mentions Seiji's break-up again:

Seiji seems to be aware that he's not a great boyfriend. Denying that he's a 'great dude' (i.e. good person) made me raise a brow though. One way or another, there's a lot more going on with him internally than Daichi knows. Since not once in the game did Seiji ever do anything remotely morally questionable while sound of mind, the fact that he feels that way about himself makes me kinda sad.

What I really found interesting was this, where it's pretty much implied that Seiji settled for a college that would allow him to stay close to Daichi, who does not seem to realise:

Throughout the game we read Daichi's constant internal monologue of how much he admires Seiji - how handsome, smart and perfect he is. So much so that he questions why Seiji had befriended him at all:

Seiji stayed with Daichi and cared about him deeply since their school days even though, in Daichi's eyes, he had nothing to offer in return. As far as he's concerned, Seiji is both saint and saviour. He cannot seem to comprehend that girls would dump such a kind man. What Daichi doesn't get is that he is in fact special to Seiji, who sees himself as cold towards others. In Route C, we find out that Seiji had been the one to approach Daichi first, who just happened to be in the area after his parents had left for good.

While Seiji is a lot less expressive and affectionate than Daichi, to say that he does not equally adore Daichi would be very inaccurate. Twice, Seiji expresses how amazing he is:

Route F dialogue:

This is followed by Seiji telling him to 'stop selling yourself short by giving literally anyone your wholehearted attention'. As previously mentioned, Seiji gets frustrated that girls take advantage of Daichi, and hates the idea of him getting hurt, both emotionally and physically. Which is my next point.

Throughout the game he is very adamant that Daichi should not get hurt. He hates the idea so much that if you do not choose the option to harm Daichi at all throughout the experiment (besides the initial blood draw), he never once holds it against him or refuses a task. To the point that in Routes B and C this toll will cause him to snap, but ultimately cannot bring himself to kill Daichi.

Now here is where the analysis is going to inevitably become NSFW.

We spend most of the game watching the sex scenes in Daichi's POV, where it's clearly evident that Daichi experiences attraction towards Seiji, and is surprised by how non-repulsed he is during the tasks. He actively fights these feelings throughout the game due to guilt and shame. In Seiji's case, we aren't really aware of what's going on in his mind besides what he actually says out loud, and in Routes B and C where we briefly switch to his POV in the bathroom scene, where it's clear that he's experiencing the same guilt.

There are some moments in the game that I found notable though. Like the face-fucking scene, where they silently agree to not look at each other, but Daichi glances down to see Seiji looking at him. Or the choking scene, where Daichi is surprised to see Seiji watching him put on the condom. Most of the time Daichi would rather look away during the tasks, but due to the nature of his role had no choice but to watch. Seiji on the other hand had no reason to look at Daichi at all. I like to think that just like Daichi, Seiji was also aroused by watching the other. And yes, the lube had been tampered with - but that only heightened the body's sensitivity (Daichi described the feeling on his hand as warm and tingly). There's only so much you can blame it on.

Next, the mutual jerk off scene...

^ ???

Initially, Seiji rejects Daichi's idea to do it face-to-face, but when Daichi can't stay hard Seiji switches to facing each other. If you choose the option where Daichi continues to hesitate, Seiji will start making out with him so they can finally get off. I mean sure, Seiji was banking on Daichi having a physiological response to these actions but like...

'Extremely worked up' and none of that lube was involved btw.

This scene unfortunately leads to Endings B and C though (B being unfortunate and C being somewhat bittersweet but still my second favourite). In these routes, which I will continue to talk about below, Seiji is at his most forward, usually the one taking the lead.

In the next task, Seiji must jack off while Daichi watches. He is not required to do anything at all but watch. No touching, nothing. When he finishes, Seiji does something interesting.

Nothing can convince me that if Daichi had not gently rebuffed Seiji's advances by indirectly telling him to go take a shower, those two would've started fucking right then and there without being forced. In this moment Daichi is the one exercising self-restraint. Also, before this, every time they'd finish a task Seiji would immediately remove the equipment and take a shower. This time he doesn't. He keeps the equipment on until Daichi avoids going further. At this point Seiji is changing, which we see later after the bathroom scene, where he once again takes charge by riding Daichi.

Sadly some of the best scenes in the game lead to either Seiji dying or the two of them staying in The Room for an indefinite amount of time. Still, there's some hope for Ending C as Daichi believes they'll get out of there one day, but for now they will continue to indulge in each other. The reasons why B and C lead to such despair is due to Daichi's lack of initiative, and by extension, outward care for Seiji. He lets Seiji take the lead and chooses Seiji's tasks every time, not once sacrificing himself for his friend. He is unaware of how bad his struggle is, and does not check on Seiji when he doesn't leave the bathroom for a long time.

On the other hand, while Route A also relies on Daichi not being physically harmed, he is a lot less passive and takes on a more aggressive role. This is what leads to Seiji becoming submissive and Daichi becoming numb, their friendship completely erased. Both A and C end in unhealthy codependency, where they either develop a toxic sadomasochistic relationship, or Daichi tries to make it up to Seiji (who barely functions normally anymore) by staying in The Room with him.

seijiiii

if you've got a cross to bear,

tell me what it costs in prayer