Mid-30s writer with a soft spot for found family, on the page and at home. Nerdy, book-obsessed, and raising a few children (biological and chosen) I swear I’m just a dork screaming about these characters too, come talk to me…
Summary: Evan Buckley spent his entire childhood feeling like "spare parts" while never managing to live up to his older siblings' accomplishments.
After his eighteenth birthday, he flees his hometown and family, cutting ties, bouncing around until he joins the fire academy at twenty-one. He settles into the 118 a few months after Bobby becomes fire caption.
And Then There was You - A03 Link
Summary: After an unexpected call from a social worker, Tommy learns his estranged sister has given birth and signed over custody of her newborn son. She’s already lost custody of her oldest two kids. Reeling from the shock, he confides in Evan who shows up without hesitation and offers support.
Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9
Hormones, Homework, and Headaches (Tumblr only)
Summary: Raising teenagers / older children fic
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Controlled Burn - A03 Link
Summary: After a chance meeting at a firefighter bar, Tommy Kinard a guarded and new Firefighter Pilot for the LAFD and Buck a restless academy recruit, fall into something neither of them saw coming.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16
Blackout Heat (Controlled Burn What-If / AU)
Summary: In another universe, Evan Buckley and Tommy Kinard meet in a war zone one’s a reckless SEAL, the other a ritual-bound pilot. As missions blur together, habits turn into lifelines and choices into fractures, until survival means deciding what matters more: orders, or each other.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9
Sumarry: Anyway, here’s what happens when I take Buck and Tommy’s history from Blackout Heat, throw it into Buck’s probie era from Controlled Burn, and make everything significantly worse. You're welcome.
Part 1
The Man He Sees in Me
Summary:
Part 1
Buck/Tommy/Sal
Where the Smoke Settles - A03 Link
Summary: This is pre-canon, slow-burn AU, Buck, arrives at Station 118, carrying more than just the burden of being a new Probational Firefighter, he’s a decorated Navy veteran with no support system, and a past he has no intention of sharing. All he wants is a fresh start, but in a firehouse ruled by the bitter Captain Gerrard, survival is more than just a job requirement.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6.A - Part 6.B - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 -Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16
Discretion Advised
Summary: Sugar Baby Au
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
What We Keep, What We Mend (FCFB) - A03 Link
Summary: Ex-husbands, cartel wars, and a half-dead Ex-Navy SEAL walk onto a porch.
One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven
Buck/Sal
Delete the Apps - A03 Link
Summary: SABS1ROWTFIACTM: Sal and Buck season 1 redo or whatever the f*ck I’m calling this mess
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10
Tommy/Sal
Somewhere I Belong
Summary: I know I have many, many universes… but for the ones where I’ve hinted that Tommy and Sal have always known each other, this is where it begins. Fort Ridge, Ohio. A rundown house. Bruises that don’t come from practice. Empty fridges and cheap comfort food. A pact is made, as they keep each others secrets for survival, friendship and love. This is their origin story.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Sal Deluca / Evan Buckley / Gina Deluca
co-written with @thecarrott
Summary: Buck has always needed more than he knows how to ask for. Sal and Gina have never needed him to ask.
Part 1 - Part 2
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Apparently Blackout Heat and Controlled Burn needed to have an emotionally unstable little AU baby.
Do I need another AU? No.
Am I actively writing this one? Also no.
But I’m cleaning out my Ellipsus documents, and since @letsdosciencetoit won’t let me delete all my abandoned little ficlets. You’re getting this chapter with the warning that I probably won’t update it again until at the very least Blackout Heat is complete.
Anyway, here’s what happens when I take Buck and Tommy’s history from Blackout Heat, throw it into Buck’s probie era from Controlled Burn, and make everything significantly worse. You're welcome.
Buck kept his eyes on the floor. Soot streaked the curve of his jaw. His hands were still shaking a little from the adrenaline drop he kept pretending he didn’t feel.
“Yes, Lieutenant.”
“That’s not an answer Probie.” Sal stepped closer. Too close. “Do you want to get someone killed. Or is that part of the rush for you.”
Buck’s jaw twitched. “No, sir.”
“Then act like it.” Before Sal could push harder, a new voice cut across the locker room.
“That’s enough.” Bobby stepped between them. “Shift is over. Go home.”
Sal looked like he wanted to argue, but the captain’s look killed it. He shot Buck one last glare, grabbed his duffel, and stalked off.
Bobby turned to Buck and exhaled, he has kind eyes and tired eyes. “Go home,” he instructs. “Eat. Sleep. And for what it’s worth… you did good today. There was nothing we could've done to save that little girl. Her soul was gone before we arrived on scene. We just need you slow down, son.”
Buck nodded, he showered fast, dressed faster, and slipped out before he had to answer any questions about why he never joined the crew for post shift beers.
The drive home was a long, quiet stretch of road that gave him too much time to think, to replay Sal’s glare and Bobby’s tired eyes. By the time he eased into the driveway, his ribs ached and his pulse had settled back into that slow beat that used to mean he was safe.
He unlocked the door and the house met him with low lights and the faint scent of peppermint oil. Carla always left the diffuser on for Tommy’s headaches.
“Carla?” he called.
“In here, sweetheart.”
He followed her voice to the living room. Tommy was on the recliner with a blanket over his legs, head tipped back, eyes half open like he was fighting sleep and losing. Carla stood beside him with her hands on her hips, giving Buck that look she saved for men who refused to admit they were exhausted.
“He pushed himself too hard today,” she said. “Again.”
Tommy grumbled without opening his eyes. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re stubborn.” Carla picked up her bag. “He ate half his dinner. He did his exercises. He didn't listen when I told him to slow down.”
Buck crossed to Tommy and brushed a hand over his hair. “You good?”
Tommy cracked one eye open. “You’re late.”
“Shift ran long.” Buck let his fingers slip down the side of Tommy’s face.
Carla sighed like she’d been holding that breath for an hour. “Your turn to wrangle this amazing jawline.” She patted Tommy’s shoulder fondly. “Call me if you need anything baby. Especially if this stubborn jackass tries something stupid.”
Tommy muttered, “I can hear you.”
“Good,” Carla said, heading for the door.
Buck crouched beside the recliner and started checking Tommy’s vitals. “Did you try to walk on your own again.”
Silence.
“Tommy?”
Another silence. Then a low, guilty grumble. “Maybe.”
Buck huffed a laugh and shook his head. “You can’t rush it.”
A grunt of agreement or disagreement followed.
"You want to try for the bed?" Buck asked, his voice soft anticipating the mood shift.
Carla's hand was still on the door when Tommy's voice cracked through the house. "I'm fine here," Tommy bit out, turning his gaze to the television so as not to look at him.
She looked back. Buck caught her eye and shook his head once, small, a whole conversation compressed into it. Nothing. I've got it. She hesitated a beat longer than she needed to, reading something in his face he wasn't fast enough to hide, then let the door click shut behind her anyway.
"Tommy, come on. You'll sleep better in bed."
"I said I'm fine!" The words were a whip-crack. Tommy finally turned his head, his eyes blazing with a bitterness that had become his default setting. “Stop hovering. Just because you’re my goddamn keeper now doesn’t mean you have to micromanage every breath I take.”
Buck flinched back as if struck. “I’m not trying to…"
“Aren’t you?” Tommy’s laugh was a harsh, ugly sound. “You love this, don’t you? The great Evan Buckley, martyr extraordinaire. Playing nurse. Playing firefighter. Must be a nice, simple little life after the Teams. A walk in the goddamn park.”
His words finding a bruise Sal Deluca had left, each one twisting deeper because they came from the one person whose opinion still atomized him. Buck felt the careful, desperate walls he’d built around his heart begin to splinter.
Something behind his eyes dimmed as his next words came out soft. “You think this is a walk in the park?”
“Compared to what we did? Yeah, Evan, I do. You get to run around playing hero while I’m stuck in this chair. You get to come home late, smelling of smoke and whatever glory, while I can’t even take a piss without a plan.” Tommy’s chest was heaving, his face a mask of rage and pain. “So don’t stand there and pretend this is hard for you.”
Buck stopped breathing.
The room narrowed to the rasp of Tommy’s anger and the soft tick of the clock. Everything else fell away as something inside Buck simply gave.
His shoulders folding inward like paper held too close to flame. A broken sound slipped out of him, half laugh, half sob. His throat bobbled once, twice, like the words were fighting him.“I remember it.”
Tommy stared, his angry tirade dying in his throat. He had seen Evan hurt before, shot, concussed. But he had never seen him break, not like this.
“You don’t. But I do.” Buck’s hands trembled at his sides. “I was thrown from the chopper when we were hit. I had been readying to jump. I pulled my rip cord and slammed right in the middle of the enemies camp. I woke up and the bird was just… gone. A fireball in the dark. And I thought you were dead. I had to believe you were dead, because the alternative was that you were burning alive.” He sucked in a breath and rose to his feet. "It took Randy seventy-two hours to put together retrieval plan and roughly another eighteen hours to pull off."
He took a step closer, his eyes begging Tommy to finally, finally see.
"I saw the fireball and thought you'd crashed. But you got her down. Dogman and Hawk pulled you out... I read the reports after. I spent ninety hours in the dirt cellar."
The silence in the room was absolute, broken only by the ragged sound of Buck’s sobbing. Tommy stared, his own rage forgotten, replaced by a dawning, horrifying comprehension.
Tommy’s fingers curled tight against his blanket. “Ninety hours?”
Buck nodded, the movement jerky. “This isn’t a walk in the park, Tommy. No one at the 118 knows who the fuck I am… to them, I'm just another stupid young probie. There are days it's worse than the teams. When I pull little kids from behind walls and hold little girls hands as they take their last breaths because we can't get them out in time or arrive too late." His voice shook as he revealed his worst call.
He looked at his trembling hands. "And I’m so tired. I’m paying Carla, I’m paying the mortgage. I'm fighting insurance companies. I’m fighting with your fucking father to keep him away from you, and I’m trying so hard to keep this house a home because your still in it.” His voice broke completely. “And you won’t even call me your husband.”
Tommy's jaw flexed, old instinct rose up fast and ugly. You want a medal for it. The words were right there, loaded, ready to fire the way they'd fired a hundred times over the past year because it was easier than the alternative.
But his eyes caught Buck's hand instead, shaking, ash and grease in the creases of his knuckles. The words died in his throat.
"I know you want a divorce," he hiccuped, wiped at his eyes, "I'll give it to you, as soon as you can walk out the door. I'll sign and do whatever you want… you're so close to walking again and it terrifies me, but I'll do it, I'll sign the fucking papers and you can be free of the martyr extraordinaire."
He tried to laugh. It came out like a sob.
His knees hit the floor, one moment he was standing, the next he was crumpled beside the recliner, his forehead nearly touching Tommy's knee. His arm came up over his eyes.
“Evan.”
Tommy’s voice was rough, disbelieving. He pushed himself up on one elbow, ignoring the scream of protest from his core muscles, forcing himself to look down at the man beside him. Buck had his arm over his eyes again, a barrier against the world, his throat working as he swallowed convulsively. “Evan, look at me.”
Buck didn’t move. A wet, choked sound escaped him. “It’s okay,” he whispered to the ceiling, the words horrifically calm, the calm of absolute devastation. “I get it. I’m… I’m a reminder. Of everything you lost. Of the crash, the chair, the… the life you can’t have. I’m just another piece of the wreckage you’re stuck with.”
“No.” The word was a command, a denial that tore from Tommy’s chest. He grabbed Buck’s wrist, pulling his arm away from his face. Buck’s eyes were squeezed shut, tears leaking from the corners. “Look at me, damn it!”
Buck’s eyes flew open, wide and wounded and hopeless.
“You think I want out of this?” Tommy’s voice shook, his grip on Buck’s wrist tightening. “You think after everything you just said, ninety hours in a dirt hole thinking I was dead, paying Carla, fighting my asshole father, holding this whole godforsaken world together with your bare hands and you think I could walk away from that? From the man who did all that?”
Buck stared, confusion warring with the deep, ingrained certainty of his own worthlessness. “You said… you said I was your keeper. A martyr. You hate this. You hate me.”
"I hate me!" Tommy roared, the force of it surprising them both. "I hated this body! I hated this chair! I hated the world!"
His fist came down on the armrest, once, hard enough that the recliner shuddered. "And I took it all out on you because you were here and still loving me! I was trying to make you hate me back!" His voice cracked on the last word, the roar losing its edge halfway through the sentence. "Because then it would make sense that I was here, alone, in this hell! But you wouldn't. You just kept loving me. And it was driving me insane!"
The confession hung between them, ugly and true. Buck’s breath hitched. “Tommy…”
“I don’t want a divorce,” Tommy admitted, each word hammered into the space between them. “I never wanted one. I wanted you to stop looking at me like I was still worth loving, because every time you did, I had to look at what I’d become. And I couldn’t stand it.”
Buck’s face crumpled. “So you punished me for it.”
Tommy went still. It wasn’t accusation in Buck’s voice. It was recognition. Quiet and exhausted and far too late. “Yes,” Tommy whispered.
Buck pulled his wrist free.
“I’m sorry” rose into Tommy’s throat, but the words felt pitiful beside ninety hours underground. Beside the mortgage and Carla and insurance appeals. Beside every morning Evan had climbed out of their bed and gone somewhere strangers thought him young and reckless, only to come home and be treated like something worse.
Tommy no longer trusted himself to reach for him.
“Evan.” He forced his hand to loosen around the blanket. “What do you need?”
Buck laughed, small and empty. “I don’t know.”
It was the first honest answer Tommy had gotten from him all night.
“Okay.” Tommy swallowed. “Give me your phone.”
Buck went very still.
Tommy saw the thought cross his face. The lawyer. The papers. All the things Buck had already decided Tommy wanted.
“I’m calling Carla.”
“She just left.”
“Then she can’t be far.”
“I can get you to bed.”
“I know you can.” Tommy’s voice broke. “That’s the problem.”
Buck stared at him.
“You’ve been getting me to bed. Getting me dressed. Getting me to appointments. You’ve been paying for everything and fighting everyone and coming home to this.” Tommy gestured helplessly between them. “You don’t have to get me anywhere tonight.”
For a moment, Buck didn’t move. Then he pulled his phone from his pocket and placed it in Tommy’s hand.
The screen was already open to Carla’s contact.
That hurt worst of all.
Tommy pressed call. She answered before the second ring. “Buck?”
“No. It’s me.”
“Tommy?”
He could hear the warning in her voice. The suspicion. She had seen more at the door than either of them had realized.
“Can you come back?”
“What happened?”
Tommy looked down at Evan, still crumpled on the floor beside him. At the soot caught along his throat. At the wedding ring he still wore despite everything Tommy had done to try and make him want to take it off.
“My husband needs me,” Tommy murmured, his voice shaking. “And I can’t help him from this chair.”
Buck’s breath caught.
“So I need you to help me,” Tommy continued. “So he doesn’t have to.”
Carla’s voice softened. “I’m turning around.”
Neither of them spoke. Tommy set the phone on the armrest and waited, resisting every selfish instinct that told him to ask Evan for comfort, forgiveness, anything.
torturing tommy you say? 👀 okay this is a concept I think about A LOT but, tommy having to face the fact that he couldn't be there for buck during ✨all of it✨, that he couldn't be there when he was kidnapped, or for the detox process, or when one of his oldest friendships died in front of him.
– @bisexualbrainrots
You and me both!
Because it's Tommy's fault. Evan was alone because of Tommy. Tommy is the one who broke them up.
If they'd still been together, he would've known about the lab incident earlier in the day and that might have made a difference. Maybe they could have saved Bobby, too. And if they couldn't Tommy would've been with Evan, when he went home. He would've been with him that night, that first night without Bobby. Evan would've been able to lean on him through it all. They would've gotten ready for the funeral together, would've gone home together afterwards.
Tommy wouldn't have gone to Nashville for the games, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been able to prevent the kidnapping. Hell, Tommy could've been in the back of that car and died on impact.
But he could've been there. He could've helped with the search, could've helped with the recovery, could've helped manage his medication. Evan wouldn't have been able to hide it from him, if he took too much. Even if he somehow managed to hide the drug problem, Tommy could've been there when he detoxed. He would've treated him with a lot more trust and dignity than his fucking family, by the sounds of it.
But Tommy wasn't there. Tommy wasn't there for any of it, by his own design. No, Tommy got to skip all that, and be presented with the result.
With the version of Evan that sits infront of him. An Evan who is tired, whose smiles don't come as easy as they used to, whose jokes don't land like they're supposed to.
He doesn't even downplay it, like he used to. He looks Tommy straight in the eye and says, ”It was bad.” He's not talking about the torture, and fuck, that is one hell of sentence. Evan was tortured. Textbook definition tortured. No, the bad part is feeling the fight leave him. Once he knew Eddie was safe, the drive to survive went away.
Not completely, but compared to all the other times he's been in mortal danger, there was a distinct lack of desire to get out alive. He's glad he's alive, but it feels a little hollow to say, which he admits to Tommy.
That is the part that breaks Tommy. He knows what it's like to want to die, but Evan wasn't supposed to know what that feels like. Even now, Tommy can feel how detached Evan is. He's there, he's present, but he's full of loose connections. Things that disappear, under the right circumstances.
Evan might not be aware of it, because you don't feel it, when those connections disappear. It happens slowly and you're too numb to notice. Up until you have too many of them and you stop functioning like a person. He seems close to that point, but Evan is resilient. It might be further away, than Tommy thinks it is.
Tommy doesn't want to cry, this isn't about him, but Evan is the most beautiful human being Tommy has ever seen and the universe won't give him a fucking break. Tommy could've helped, Tommy could've eased his suffering, but he made sure he didn't do that.
He knows the guilt is misplaced, because he wasn't the one who chose to kidnap and torture a person, he wasn't the one who prescribed fucking oxy, but he could have been there. He could have made something easier.
”I'm sorry that happened to you,” he manages to say through the tears. It's not what he wants to say, but it's the only thing that comes out.
Evan smiles a little, because he knows there's nothing you can say to that. You can't listen to the story he just told and come up with an adequate response.
”What have you been up to?”
Tommy scoffs, because what has he been up to? Nothing. He always thought absence makes the heart grow fonder was a ridiculous saying, but every day without Evan has only made him love him more – and he can't say that. Sorry about the torture, I love you.
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Sal/Tommy, Evan Buckley (Not Actually There But Also Very There)
“He needs to be on his knees, learning how to listen for once.” Sal snaps as he stalks from one end of the room to the other, not even aware of how dirty his words sounded. His beer bottle gripped white-knuckled, tension radiating off him in. His eyes find Tommy's as he speaks, while his free hand rakes through his hair.
"All he does is talk. Charges headfirst into trouble like he's got something to prove every waking minute. I didn't sign up to be his fuckin’ babysitter."
Tommy stays where he is on the couch, one arm thrown over the back, watching.
Sal exhales hard through his nose. “No sense of self-preservation. No…” he cuts himself off, shaking his head. “And the worst part? He looks at me like I’m the fuckin’ problem.”
That earns a quiet huff of amusement.
Sal’s head snaps toward him. “You think this is funny?”
“I think,” Tommy says slowly, sitting forward, elbows braced on his knees, “you’ve been talking about this kid for twenty minutes straight without taking a breath.”
Sal scoffs. “Yeah, because he’s gonna get himself killed if someone doesn’t…”
“Handle him?” Tommy supplies, lifting an eyebrow that’s too amused for Sal’s liking.
Sal stiffens and glares at his partner. “Someone needs to keep him in line.”
Tommy’s eyes wrinkle. “Uh huh.”
“What?”
Tommy tilts his head, studying him. “Nothing. Just… interesting choice of words.”
Sal rolls his eyes, takes a long pull from his beer. “Don’t start.”
“Not starting,” he says easily. “Just… trying to figure out why you sound like you wanna put the kid on a leash.”
Sal snorts and glares at his soon to be husband. “Jesus Christ.”
“Yeah,” Tommy continues. “You don’t talk about your probies like this, Sal. Not unless there’s something else going on.”
Sal drags a hand down his face. "There's nothing going on. He's a wicked problem. That's what's going on."
“A problem,” Tommy repeats, tipping his head. “Or a project?”
Sal glares at him and folds his arms across his chest. “You done?”
Tommy’s mouth quirks, not quite a smile. “Not even close.” He gives him a long knowing look.
Sal hates that look. “Spit it out, Kinard.”
Tommy leans forward eyes sharp now. “You don’t want him off your truck, Tory. You were pissed Bobby tossed him into a wall and fired him, took him to Springsteen’s concert.”
Sal opens his mouth then closes it. “He’s gonna get himself killed,” Sal snarls instead, like that explains everything.
Tommy hums. “So you keep him close.”
“Yeah.”
“So you watch him.”
“Of course, what the fuck T.”
“And you correct him.”
Sal’s exhaled hard. “Yes.”
Tommy’s gaze flicks up knowing and he smirks. “And you like it.”
Sal turns on him fast, closing the distance a fraction. “Watch it.”
“You like when he listens,” Tommy murmurs, like he’s remembering something. “When he finally shuts up and follows your lead.”
Sal doesn’t answer. Because the image hits him, uninvited. Buck, eyes yes locked on him, waiting.
Waiting for direction for… instructions.
Sal lets out a breath. "He rarely does what he's told."
Tommy gives a soft chuckle. "I bet he would for you."
Sal shoots him a look of his own. One that for half a second makes Tommy think he should let it go.
"What exactly are you getting at?"
Tommy leans back again. “Means you’re going about it wrong.”
“Wrong,” Sal frowns.
“Yeah.” Tommy shrugs. “You’re sharp. Barking orders, riding his ass. Kid like that?” He huffs. “Christ, Sal, he probably thinks you hate him.”
“I don’t…”
“He’ll still try,” he continues like Sal didn’t interrupt him. “He’ll chase it. Do whatever it takes to get it right for you.” A small shake of his head. “And yeah… he’ll thrive under it. But that’s not what he’s after.”
Sal’s eyes narrow. “And you’d do it better?”
Tommy smiles and shakes his head knowingly. Knowing his words will rile up Sal. “Yeah.”
Something in Sal’s chest tightens, mean and hot. “You don’t even know him.”
Tommy huffs, like that’s the dumbest thing he’s heard all night. “Come on. For months now, it’s been nothing but this boy with you, Tory.”
The sound that escapes Sal's throat isn't quite the dismissal he intended. Tommy's gaze drags over Sal, he smirks. “All fire, no control,” he murmurs. “Runs himself into the ground, doesn’t eat right, doesn’t sleep enough. Has a mouth that never shuts up unless he’s in over his head." He tilts his head. “And when he is? He looks to you." Tommy continues, his voice dropping to something almost tender. “Needs direction but won’t ask for it. Pushes until someone pushes back.” His mouth curves, just a little. “Yeah, I know him.”
“You push,” Tommy adds. “You take. You demand.” He pauses and watches Sal throat bob. You punish." Tommy pauses. "That Boston tongue of yours is lethal."
Sal says nothing. Tommy watches him, lets his words sit it.
"And what would you do?" Sal finally asks, quieter than he meant to.
Tommy doesn’t hesitate. “I'd be the daddy he desperately needs.”
Sal’s fingers tighten around the neck of his bottle. “Yeah?” he says, heat back in his voice.
Tommy meets his eyes and doesn’t back down. “Yeah. Kid needs more than the whip of your sharp words. He needs praise.”
Sal studies him then he huffs, shakes his head like he’s brushing it off. “Kid would walk all over you,” he mutters.
Tommy’s smile widens and his eyes crinkle, “Wanna bet?”
Sal lets out a quiet, humorless huff, shaking his head like he’s already dismissing it… but he doesn’t look away. “Christ, you’re fuckin' serious.”
Tommy doesn't answer.
"He's not some project, Tommy." The words come out flatter than he intended, less certain. "He's my probie." The accent bleeds through on the last word the way it only does when he's not watching himself.
That's what does it. Sal’s molars ground together, possessiveness and defiance flaring hot under his skin. He takes a step in, closing the space just a fraction. “You really think you could handle him?”
Tommy’s mouth curves.
“Yeah?” Sal presses, voice lower now, rougher. “You think he’d listen to you like that?”
Tommy smirks, slow and shark-like. “Worked on you, jackass.”
Sal’s nostrils flare, heat crawling up his neck. “That was different.”
“Was it?” Tommy rises from the couch in one fluid motion, closing the distance between them. “You were just as wild. Just as reckless.”
Sal backs up a step, his spine hitting the wall. “I wasn’t...“
“You were worse,” Tommy murmurs, crowding into Sal’s space. His fingers brush the inside of Sal’s wrist. “Remember the fire at Guillermo's Eatery? The one where you went in after I specifically told you to wait... after your Captain told you to wait? The one he fired you for, the one I had to convince him to take you back.”
Sal's breath catches. The memory flashes hot, smoke and adrenaline, Tommy's furious face when he'd helped Sal drag the kid out. The pride he'd felt. The way it had curdled the second he'd seen Tommy's expression and understood what he had risked.
“That was...“
“Or that bar fight in Silver Lake?” Tommy continues, voice dropping lower as his hand slides up Sal’s arm. “Three guys twice your size, and you just couldn’t keep your mouth shut.”
Sal swallows hard. Tommy’s proximity makes it difficult to think clearly, the familiar scent of birch and pine soap and that damn cologne filling Sal’s lungs.
“You needed someone to slow you down,” Tommy says, lips barely an inch from Sal’s ear now. “Someone to make you stop and think before that tempers of yours gets you killed.”
Tommy’s fingers ghost along Sal’s jaw, and Sal’s eyes flutter shut despite himself.
“Someone who knew exactly how to handle you,” Tommy continues. His thumb traces Sal’s bottom lip. “And I do, don't I?”
Sal’s beer bottle dangles forgotten from his fingertips. “That’s not…“
Tommy takes the bottle, sets it on the nearby shelf without breaking eye contact. “Your boy Buck,” he says, the name like honey in his mouth. “He’d respond to it the same way you did. That's why you're been trying it yourself."
The image hits Sal like a physical blow, Buck on his knees, those earnest blue eyes looking up, waiting for direction. For approval. For someone to just love him.
“He’d be so good for you,” Tommy whispers, slipping his thigh between Sal’s legs. “For us.”
Sal’s hands find Tommy’s hips, gripping hard enough to bruise. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’d start slow,” Tommy continues, ignoring the protest. His lips brush against Sal’s throat. “Get him to trust me. Show him I notice when he does well.” His teeth graze skin. “Positive reinforcement.”
Sal’s head falls back against the wall with a thud. “Fuck.”
“And then,” Tommy says, one hand sliding beneath Sal’s shirt, “when he’s fucks up…“ His fingers trace up Sal’s ribs, making him shiver. “that’s when I’d show him what happens.”
Sal’s hips jerk forward involuntarily. “Christ, Tommy." He tosses his head back and huffs out a breath. "He's my probie.”
Tommy’s laugh is velvet against Sal’s skin. “I start with you, make him watch, let him learn. Let him see how it should be done.”
Sal’s fingers thread through Tommy’s hair, tugging sharply. “And then what?”
“Then?” Tommy pulls back just enough to meet Sal’s eyes, his own dark with intent. “Then I’d let you show him how well you’ve learned your lessons. You’re a good boy, aren’t you Tory?”
Sal crushes their mouths together, all teeth and desperation. Tommy responds immediately, pressing him harder against the wall, both hands now under Sal’s shirt.
When they break for air, Sal’s voice is wrecked. “You’re a bastard.”
“You love it,” Tommy counters, already working on Sal’s belt. “Admit it, you’ve thought about it.”
Sal doesn’t answer, just yanks Tommy’s shirt over his head and tosses it aside. His hands roam over exposed skin, relearning every scar, every ridge of muscle.
“He’d be so eager to please,” Tommy continues, voice hitching as Sal’s teeth find his collarbone. “So desperate for approval.”
Y’all I'm so sad school is about to start. My things are genuinely my favorite people. And starting next Thursday, they can't stay up super late for movie nights anymore. There has been so many Marvel movies. No more weekday trips. No more Grow a Garden or Survive 100 Nights. No more late night cookies, ramen and Legos. No more Fortnite. No more scamming my favorite squad into doing their chores so I’ll trade Sprites with them.
This is bullshit.
Also I need to find this fucker and I only got fifteen more days to find him. 😩
The number has been creeping up on me for months. Fifteen. High school. Four short years standing between the little boy I have spent so long protecting and the young man who will begin making a future of his own.
I know it feels so much bigger to me than to you, but I also understand how fast it goes.
Next week, you will walk into high school. You will find new classrooms, new expectations, new people, and probably new versions of yourself along the way.
You will succeed.
You will fail.
You will learn.
You will change.
You may even hurt a few people along the way.
And through all of it, I hope you remain unmistakably you.
You’ve already faced things most kids your age have never had to consider. You’ve learned how to be brave when you didn’t have any choice in the matter. Still, you’ve always remained funny, curious, smart, and tenderhearted. You’re a hard worker, you challenge yourself, and you’ve made me proud in more ways than grades or awards could ever measure.
I know high school will feel like a whole new world but it’s only the beginning. You don’t have to know exactly who you are or what you want your life to become yet. You’re allowed to explore, to change your mind and discover something you love and then discover something you love even more.
Your life belongs to you.
I will always be here to guide you, support you, and remind you who you are when the world gets hard, but you’re becoming the captain of your own ship.
So choose your friends carefully and be the kind of friend you hope to have.
Your word matters, so keep it.
And watch how you speak to people, especially when you’re angry, because words can outlive the moment that created them.
Also if you know better, do better. When you’re wrong, apologize. When someone else is trying to make it right, leave some room for grace. None of us has done this before. This is everyone’s first time living, and we’re all figuring it out as we go.
Never become so proud that you forget to say thank you, or so embarrassed that you can’t ask for help.
I see so much waiting for you. I see classrooms where your curiosity will carry you farther than you expect. I see friendships you have not made yet, things you’ll become unexpectedly good at, and moments that will someday become the stories you tell about growing up.
So work hard, but don’t mistake achievement for worth. You don’t have to earn any one’s friendship, nor the right to rest, to laugh, or to enjoy your life. Success is wonderful but happiness matters too.
Do things that scare you sometimes. So try out for baseball. Give those clubs a chance. Especially debate club. Walk into the room even when you are unsure whether you belong there. You will never know how much space is waiting for you until you are brave enough to take up some of it.
Remember to be kind but trust your gut.
And to keep going, even when the path changes.
And no matter how tall you get, how independent you become, or how far life eventually takes you, never doubt that you can come home.
Fifteen years ago, I held you for the first time. Next week, I will watch you walk into high school.
I’m not sure my heart is ready for either of those things to be true at once, but I know you’re ready for what comes next.
Happy fifteenth birthday.
I love you more than you can understand right now. Maybe, in another fifteen years, you’ll understand.
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Buck dropped to one knee on the sun-baked driveway, ignoring the way his back protested. Theo’s small fists beat against his chest. “Hey, buddy. Hey. I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”
“I hate you!” Theo wailed, voice cracking. “You left me and... and he,” The finger stabbed toward Chimney. “He thinks I’m bad too! Everyone thinks I’m bad.” Chim shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Kiddo, I was just trying to get you to eat the goldfish crackers instead of throwing them into the pond.”
“Not helping,” Buck muttered under his breath, too low for Theo to catch. “Theo, Chim likes you. He was helping. But it’s okay to feel mad. Moving day is hard. Daycare is hard. Everything’s new.”
Theo’s screams fractured into hiccupping sobs that shook his whole body. “No one likes me.”
Buck felt his throat tighten painfully. Six months of this, middle-of-the-night terrors where Theo woke screaming for parents who would never come back. Public meltdowns in grocery stores. The constant, gnawing fear that one bad report to social services could undo everything he had fought for. He had spent years, being the dependable one for others, helping Eddie with Chris, sitting with Maddie through panic attacks and postpartum fog, always the reliable babysitter, the guy who’d drop everything to help his people.
And now? Now he was the one drowning, and the help felt polite. Conditional. Wrapped in concern, but threaded with enough judgment to make him wonder if everyone was waiting for him to fail.
He scooped Theo up despite the thrashing limbs, pressing the boy’s sweaty, tear-streaked face to his shoulder. “I like you,” he said fiercely, the words steady even as his voice thickened. “I like you so much. I’m not leaving you. Ever. You’re stuck with me, okay? We’re going to our new house. The one we picked together, near your new school, right by Dr. Miles’ office. The park with the big rocket slide. We’re gonna set up your room exactly how you want it. We can eat dinner in the backyard if you want. We’re gonna make it ours.”
“I love you,” Buck sang softly, the words slipping out on instinct because he didn’t know what else to do. This song almost always worked to soothe Theo's spirals.
Theo sniffed, rubbing his face against Buck’s shoulder, and answered in a small wobbly voice, “You love me.”
Buck swallowed around the ache rising in his throat and kept going. “And we are learning how to be a family. And we’re gonna have uh-ohs and oh no’s and make many mistakes. But that’s okay because…”
Theo’s lips trembled, but he finished their little song. “Because I love you and you love me.”
Buck let out a shaky breath, pressing his cheek against Theo’s damp curls. “Yeah, buddy,” he whispered.
“Can we have dinosaur nuggets for dinner?”
Buck huffed a tired laugh that felt like the first real breath he’d taken all day. “Yeah, buddy. Dinosaur nuggets it is.” He pressed a kiss to Theo’s temple, tasting salt and sunscreen and the faint strawberry shampoo from last night’s bath.
He didn’t look back at Chimney or Maddie as he carried his son toward the truck. He couldn’t quite handle their concerned, slightly helpless expressions right now.
Maddie stepped forward anyway, brushing a hand down his arm. “Evan… you sure you don’t want us to bring some real food by later? Or keep him again tomorrow so you can finish unpacking?”
Buck offered her a tired smile. “We’ll be okay. Thanks though Maddie. I think I need my best lil crocodile to help me tomorrow.”
“Bye, Miss Maddie. Let’s go alligator,” Theo huffed from his car seat once Buck had him buckled in, voice thick with leftover tears. He kicked his little legs against the passenger seat, impatient.
“Call me if you need anything,” she added, voice warm with that older-sister worry that had once meant everything to him.
Buck didn’t miss the way Chimney’s face twisted, just for a second, at his wife’s words. A flicker between exhaustion and protectiveness, the silent conversation of two parents who already had their hands full.
Buck shook his head, offering the pair a tired smile. “We’ve got it from here. Thanks again for today.”
The words were genuine. But they also felt like the end of something.
THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY
maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT
A03 Story Tags: Evan "Buck" Buckley Leaves Firehouse 118, Wild Fire Season, Firehouse 118 Critical, Fire Fam Critical, Competent Evan "Buck" Buckley, Competence Kink Sal Deluca, Badass Tommy Kinard, Idiots in Love, Slow(ish) Burn, Minor OC Death, Set Post Death of Bobby Nash, Minor Original Characters, Divorced Sal Deluca (9-1-1 TV), Em and I put the Found Family Tag in a mason jar and took turns shaking it
Chapter 5: Start of May 1
—
The bus is one of those large coach rigs, and Buck easily stows his duffel in the undercarriage, drops it in beside a row of already loaded bags when the coordinator directs him too. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he kind of expected to feel just like he did when he left Hershey. Setting out on his own, young, full of anger and nerves and betrayal.
But this time Buck doesn't.
He's not nervous. He's not angry. Maybe he's a little betrayed but in the grand scheme of things, Buck's pretty sure he's allowed to feel some sort of way about his life recently.
Y’all I'm so sad school is about to start. My things are genuinely my favorite people. And starting next Thursday, they can't stay up super late for movie nights anymore. There has been so many Marvel movies. No more weekday trips. No more Grow a Garden or Survive 100 Nights. No more late night cookies, ramen and Legos. No more Fortnite. No more scamming my favorite squad into doing their chores so I’ll trade Sprites with them.
This is bullshit.
Also I need to find this fucker and I only got fifteen more days to find him. 😩
Snippet for "Starved for Love", Salbucktommy, T-rated
Saturday, or really the closest weekday to it pending any schedule conflicts, had become their grocery shopping day. That particular activity didn't always include all three of them, but this time it did. Well somewhat, because about five minutes in Tommy had announced Divide and conquer before dashing off through the aisles.
Overhead, the fluorescent lights seemed a little too bright for Buck, irritating in a way they probably shouldn't have been. But that was a small bother compared to the pleasure of watching Sal do one of the things he loved most. Making sure the fridge was stocked full to feed his men.
Sal's words. Said with a grin that went straight around Buck’s rational thinking, making the bundle of emotions in his chest do funny things. He absolutely hadn't blushed to the tips of his ears when Sal said it.
Buck pushed the cart while Sal walked half a step ahead, tossing things in with the confidence of a man who didn’t make lists. It was funny how far apart he and Sal sat on that particular scale, considering how completely Buck adored him. Or maybe complementary. Not that Buck hadn't tried to convince Sal at least once to write things down in some kind of order.
(That one had ended with Buck pinned to a counter and kissed senseless, until he blinked owlishly at Sal. "What were we talking about again?" Buck had no complaints. None.)
"Catch," Sal said, and a bag of some fancy-looking rice landed against Buck's chest before he'd fully processed the warning.
"You could just put it in the cart like a normal person," Buck said, though he was absolutely smiling at Sal's thinly veiled attempt to keep him from spacing out.
"Where's the fun in that?"
Tommy was somewhere back in produce, texting them a photo of two identical-looking bunches of basil with the caption which one, and Buck was midway through typing does it matter when he stopped, hand still on the cart handle, and just stood there for a second.
Nobody was looking at them. That was the thing. Nobody in the cereal aisle cared that Buck had a hand fisted loosely in the back of Sal's shirt when he got into touching range, or that when Tommy caught up to them a minute later, he slid his own hand into the back pocket of Buck's jeans like it belonged there. Because apparently it did now.
Nobody flinched. Nobody did a double take. It was just three guys and a cart with too much basil in it (It matters. Bring both.), arguing about whether they needed more garlic when they clearly, unambiguously, did not.
Buck didn’t think that they read as just friends from the outside. But he might be wrong. Or maybe it was just too early in the day — or everyone was just busy with their own lives.
There was a chance that Buck was only thinking about this at all because Tommy had started admitting, in quiet conversation, just how far back in the closet he'd lived in his early twenties. How scary coming out had been. What he'd learned to think, at home, in the army, under their first captain.
Buck's train of thought had a similar shape but a different flavor entirely. His was more about the realization that he had a place here. That he was home between these two people, and that this wasn't temporary.
Everything else beyond that was less important: Buck belonged.
The thought didn't come with any of its usual attachments, no bracing for it to be taken away, no counting down some invisible clock. It just sat there, plain and warm, the way facts were supposed to feel. Buck hardly knew how not to check it for stability. What to do with it.
"You good, Evan?" Tommy asked, their shoulders brushing.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Buck answered, a little too fast.
"You're doing the thing," Tommy said, low, briefly tangling their fingers.
Buck felt one of his eyebrows rise. Not his usual mannerism. "What thing?"
"The staring-into-the-middle-distance-having-a-moment thing."
He snorted. "I don't do that."
"You absolutely do that," Sal called back without turning around, already three steps into the pasta aisle. He blew Buck a kiss. "Don't worry. It's very cute."
Buck tried to resist the urge to stick out his tongue and promptly lost the battle. Sal's laugh rang out over the top of the shelves.
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Some of you may be wondering, "Em, where have you been? Why aren't you writing?"
Life happened. Well... summer.
I moved from Oklahoma back to Kansas.
My medically complex son needed surgery, and we spent some anxious days waiting to make sure he's still healthy, all while getting him ready for high school.
(Boys are not easier than girls.)
I was sick for three quarters of June. (Might've had Cyclospora, but I live in America, and I'm not going to the doctor or the hospital until I have to. Besides, I already owe them a thousand dollars this year, only to be told, "Umm... we're going to need more scans in a few months.")
This has also been the summer. The summer before the last summer with my daughter before she leaves for college. The summer of planning senior year, narrowing down colleges, picking dresses and photographers, debating college majors, and building Pinterest boards at 11:00 p.m.
It's the summer of teaching kids to drive while running everyone from one place to another. The summer of sleepovers, pool days, teenage drama, and making sure they can get from one lawn job to the next.
It's the summer my oldest (my wee baby brother) crashed his truck, locked down an apartment and got a real job far, far from home.
It's the summer my youngest learned to swim, and the summer I caught the sadness in his eyes as our house grows a little quieter as each older sibling flies a little farther from the nest.
It's the summer I stop what I'm doing to make snow cones, ice cream, and go to the pool. To take one child to flight lessons, another to STEM camp, swim lessons, ceramics, or library days.
And through all of it, I know exactly what season I'm in.
I'm living the end of my ordinary days.
The words will come back. They always do. Probably about the time the school bell rings.
Right now, I'm busy writing the chapters I'll miss the most one day.
I have to give credit to @thecarrott for some of these words are hers and this was inspired by our little back and forth in the Gc…also tagging @fuselsstuff because she never lets me delete anything. Also tagging, @paperyowl because it was their words yesterday that pulled me to open this document that I’ve been working on since August.
One-shot for Sal Saturday
Established poly relationship. Power dynamics, cuff play, praise/command. Not formal BDSM, but definitely control kink.
Tommy/Sal/Buck
- - -
The door slammed shut.
Buck glanced over his shoulder from the stove and noted the scowl etched onto Sal’s face, the soot on his neck, and the way he tossed his jacket against the wall.
“Rough shift?” Buck asked, even though the answer was obvious.
Sal didn’t answer. Just dropped his keys onto the counter as he kicked off his boots and muttered, “I need a fucking drink.”
“Beer’s cold,” Buck said, turning off the burner and plating the food. “But you need to eat first.”
Sal snorted. “I’ve been on my feet for sixteen hours.”
“Then sit your ass down,” Buck grunted. A tone, Sal had never heard from him. “Before I make you.”
That earned him a slow blink. A brow lift. But Sal dropped into the chair anyway, because the kid had nerve. And he was tired. Bone-tired and fried. His body still humming from the adrenaline crash after the near miss. He had to yank his probie back seconds before the kid could get himself killed.
Buck set a plate in front of him. Pasta. Homemade. Garlic bread. Real salad, not the pre-bagged kind. Vegetables from Tommy’s stupid ass garden.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
Buck sat across from him, arms folded. “Then eat.”
Sal shoveled a few bites in, irritated by how fucking good it was. He drained half the beer and picked at his food for a few minutes.
“They laughed. After. As if it was a joke, like they hadn’t just nearly gotten themselves burned alive. The little shit just turned twenty-one. Still smells like Axe and mistakes. And Jay, I expected better from him.”
Buck didn’t rush, just watched as Sal drained the rest of the beer and swirled the pasta around his fork.
“They laugh because they’re scared,” Buck said finally. “Because the second they stop grinning, they have to face how close they came. How fast it could have gone sideways. You remember being that young?”
Sal snorted. “Barely.”
Buck didn’t smile. “I do.”
He stood, picked up Sal’s empty and limped across the room to toss it out before grabbing him another one.
Sal watched the uneven gait. Noticed, for the first time, the soft grunt Buck let out as he leaned into the fridge door. The brief pause. The careful pivot.
“Leg giving you shit again?” Sal asked, brow creasing.
Buck tossed him the beer. “Not as much as you are.”
Sal scrubbed a hand down his face and let out a long breath as he twisted the bottle open. Tommy's favorite Pale Ale went down smooth. He didn't reach for the harder stuff. Didn't want to see the worry crease across Buck's forehead.
The third beer was gone by the time his plate was empty. He was warm and his shoulders had released the tension he had carried home.
“Come on,” Buck encouraged. “Living room.”
Sal raised an eyebrow. “You ordering me around in my own damn house now?”
Buck only shrugged and walked out of the kitchen, not waiting to see if he followed. Sal would, because he always fucking did.
The lights in the living room were low.
Sal dropped into his favorite chair with a sigh and let his head fall back. His eyes closed for a second.
They opened again when Buck’s palms landed on his thighs.
“Evan,” Sal said softly, not quite a question, not quite a protest.
Buck shifted, reached under the couch, and pulled out a black kneeling pad. He set it down with a soft thunk before lowering himself onto it. His eyes tightened for a moment, but then he grinned.
The gesture shut Sal up.
Because Buck thought ahead. Because Buck planned this.
Buck was already moving, hands sliding up his thighs. “Let me.”
He was already easing Sal’s belt open, sliding his jeans down. He paused to kiss the scar that sat just under his waistband. Ran his lips along the crease where skin met muscle.
“Evan.”
“Shut up, Sal.”
Sal huffed. “You gonna boss me around all night?” His voice was low now, rough at the edges.
Buck glanced up, a little smile tugging at his lips. “Only if you keep talking.”
Sal grunted. “Fuckin’ brat.”
Buck kissed the inside of his thigh. “Yeah, but yours.”
Sal’s eyes darkened. He threaded his fingers into Buck’s hair, gave a soft tug, pulled Evan’s gaze to his.
“You know,” Sal said lazily, “I ever tell you how pretty you are when you’re trying not to beg?”
“I don’t beg.”
“Bullshit.” Sal grinned wide, teeth flashing. “You beg so sweetly, baby boy. Get all breathy. Please, Sal. I’ll be good. Let me. Just. Please. You’re like a fuckin’ prayer when I’ve got you all amped up.”
Buck’s ears went red. “Your mouthy tonight.”
Sal leaned in, fingers curling against Buck’s jaw. Buck’s smirk shifted, and he sucked in a digit, drawing out a groan from Sal. He released it with a pop. “Bet I can make you beg.”
Sal knew he could. But he would never admit it. The kid had too much power over him already. Sal’s hand found the back of Buck’s neck. “Watch your mouth, brat.”
“Why?” Buck grinned. “You want it somewhere else?”
And before Sal could answer, Buck leaned in and placed his mouth over the bulge in Sal's jeans like he had all the time in the world to prove his point. He pressed kisses down the length of him, nosed at the zipper, breathed him in.
Sal maybe, maybe smelled better than Tommy. Maybe.
Sal groaned.
Buck looked up through his lashes. “Say please.”
Sal narrowed his eyes. “You’re trying to flip the script.”
Buck unzipped him. “Maybe." He freed him and licked a broad stripe up the length without taking his eyes off Sal’s face.
Sal’s head fell back. “Jesus, Ev.”
Buck pulled off with a smile. “Not what I asked for.”
“You little shit.”
Buck licked his lips. “You want it? Say so.”
Sal gritted his teeth. His hand tightened at the back of Buck’s head.
“Fuck, baby,” he hissed, jaw clenched. He shook his head, but then Buck's tongue swirled.
And Buck smiled, all teeth, before rolling his tongue over the head of Sal’s cock and bobbing down.
“You’re going to do exactly as I tell you, aren’t you?” Buck smirked.
Sal thought it should be unattractive on him, but God, it made him hot under the collar. Or it would be if he was wearing one.
“You’re going to be good for your boy, aren’t you, Sal?”
Sal, gruff, steady, always in control, whimpered.
It was small. Barely a sound.
But it was enough to make Buck’s pupils blow wide.
“Hands off,” Buck said low with edged. “I didn’t say you could touch me.”
Sal’s body froze, but almost impossibly, his hands released their favorite grip in Evan’s curls. His chest rose and fell faster and faster, even as his mouth went dry. Staring down at Buck. At Evan. His Evan.
Evan with that sharp tone he’d never heard before. It lit heat and lust through his veins.
His hands hovered awkwardly in the air, twitching toward Buck for a moment before Sal physically pried them out of their stalemate and planted them on the arm of the chair.
He lifted a brow at Evan, asking without asking.
Now what.
Buck’s smile turned smug, cocky, like he was rolling a word around his head, testing it before giving it voice.
“Good boy.”
And Sal broke a little. A single exhale punched from his chest like Buck had reached inside him and undid a thread.
“Fuck,” Sal breathed, his head lulling back.
But Buck dragging his tongue along the underside of Sal’s cock. He sucked, swirled, and made that messy little guk noise that never failed to make Sal snap his hips.
He pulled back with a little hum, “I thought you only took orders from Tommy,” he murmured, thumb rubbing circles into Sal’s balls.
Sal swallowed hard. “Thought you didn’t give 'em.”
Buck leaned in closer, mouth ghosting over the tip. “Guess we’re both full of surprises.”
“Tommy gives different orders,” Sal admitted, breath stuttering as Buck teased the head of his cock. Sal couldn’t help the way his hips twitched, trying to chase the sensation when Buck immediately pulled back.
“Oh?” A mischievous glint hit Buck’s eyes. This was more familiar, but Sal had never seen it quite like this before. It was dark. Teasing. Hungry.
“Tell me what he likes to do to you when you don’t listen to him.”
Sal’s breath caught. The words seized in his throat. Because it was one thing to obey. It was another to confess.
His eyes flicked up to Buck’s, wide, unsure. But Buck didn’t waver. Just held him there under his gaze. “He’s...” Sal started, voice rough and too thin. He swallowed. “He’s cuffed me before.”
Buck’s eyes lit up. “Yeah? Is that because you’re bad at listening?” He tutted, giving one long lick before pulling back. He sighed as Sal scowled and dropped his hand back down onto the arm of the chair.
“And when you disobey Tommy, does he let you come?”
Sal hissed, gritting his teeth as he shook his head.
“Words, Sal,” Buck insisted.
Sal’s hand flew up to grip Buck’s wrist and they both froze.
Buck’s eyes dropped to where Sal’s fingers wrapped around him desperately. His gaze flicked back up. A disappointment flashed through his blue eyes. Like Sal had just confirmed something Buck had already assumed.
And fuck, it hit harder than it should.
Sal’s gut twisted.
The fear that flared in his chest wasn’t about punishment; it was about failing. About proving that he couldn’t give this over, not really. He wanted it but didn’t know how to stay in it.
He yanked his hand back like he’d been burned.
His hand dropped to the arm of the chair, knuckles white. “C-cause,” he rasped, eyes fixed anywhere but Buck’s. “He does it… 'cause I don’t listen.”
Buck’s voice was quiet, so unlike himself, measured and sharp, “And do you want me to do it, Sal?”
Sal’s throat bobbed.
Buck leaned in, brushing his lips just over the tip of Sal’s cock, the barest kiss of heat and breath. “Do you want me to make you behave?”
Sal nodded.
“Words, baby boy,” Buck said again, throwing Sal’s favorite nickname right back at him.
Sal’s gaze finally met Buck’s nowhere to hide under that sharp, too-blue stare. “Yes,” he whispered. “I want, fuck… I want you to do it.”
Buck smiled.
It wasn't sweet.
Nor kind.
“Then keep your fucking hands down,” he said, and took him in deep, no warning, no mercy.
Sal choked on a moan, head snapping back, one hand twitching off the arm of the chair before he slammed it back down, fingers digging into his own thighs.
And Buck worked him.
Every time Sal’s thighs twitched or his hands dared to lift, Buck would stop and lips pulling off with a cruel pause, his thumb brushing his hipbone.
And Sal, powerful, unflinching, always in control Sal shuddered under him.
Buck tilted his head, coaxing his voice. “What else, lovely?”
“He always makes me wait,” Sal added, the confession whispered, emboldened by Buck’s firm hand on his chin.
“Makes you wait, huh?” he murmured, thumb brushing Sal’s balls. He dipped his mouth and pulled in the skin his hand had just been massaging. “Bet you’re aching by the time he lets you come.”
Buck’s lips curled. His eyes fluttered under thick lashes. “It’s okay,” he murmured, blue eyes too blue, too sweet, almost dangerous. “If you’re not ready yet, babe...”
Then he sank down. Mouth all hot, wet heat. Cheeks hollowing.
Sal choked on his own breath, hands clawing uselessly at the chair.
The please lodged in his throat, but the loud “Fuck” made it out in the next breath. Sal’s head fell back as he struggled not to give in.
His fingers missed the soft give of Evan’s hair. Missed the breathy whine that always followed a hard pull.
Instead, he was grasping at air. Struggling to keep his noises down and his head up.
Buck moaned low around him, like he knew. Like he felt every twitch, every surrender Sal was too proud to voice.
Sal’s hips jerked, breath stuttering. He was close. Too close. And Buck was still holding back.
Sal gritted his teeth. The ache was unbearable. And when Buck’s tongue flicked just right, Sal almost did it. Almost pulled his hair, forced him deeper, demanded everything.
But Buck pulled back and took him in.
“Look at you, so fucking pretty, all flushed, pink, needy...”
Sal cursed. “Ev, dammit.”
“Come on, Cap. Just one little, tiny please and I’ll let you fuck my throat just how you want to.”
Buck pulled back and stroked him once. Tilted his head as he rolled his tongue over his lips.
Sal’s jaw dropped. He was about to say fuck it all and do it anyway.
But movement by the door caught his eye. Tommy stood in the doorway, broad shoulders leaning against the doorframe. Looking every inch the commanding figure he was. And just like that, Sal’s composure broke.
“Fuck. Evan. Please. Please, baby, let me fuck your throat.”
Buck’s mouth wrapped around Sal and he teased only a second more before he sank down deep, taking Sal to the hilt in one smooth, hungry motion that pulled a broken, grateful sob straight from Sal’s chest.
Tommy smirked as Sal twitch and jerk under Evan’s devilishly talented tongue.
Then, like something out of Sal’s worst nightmare, Tommy stood directly behind Evan and leaned over him to pin both of Sal’s wrists to the armchair. His grip was unrelenting. Sal thrashed, pinned in place.
“Yes he did, baby... but not very well. You can’t be too easy on him.”
Evan hummed. The captain’s eyes rolled back in his head.
Tommy laughed a little cruel but full of fondness.
“You wish, love,” he whispered, his words brushing Sal’s ear as he pressed his weight down until Sal’s wrists ached. “But see, this is what happens when you play stubborn. You get edged by your brat and pinned by your husband.”
Evan’s mouth never stopped. But his eyes were bright and gleaming with delight as he sucked slow. Mean. Letting Sal feel every inch. He knew how to work his mouth. How to change his pace to keep Sal right on the edge.
Sal threw his head back and howled.
“Seriously... fuck.”
Buck popped off with a wicked, wet sound and exhaled, eyes glossy, lips red. He pouted.
“Now that’s not very nice.”
Tommy’s grip didn’t loosen. If anything, his fingers tightened until the ache bloomed sweet under his skin.
He hummed low in his throat, leaned down, and brushed the shell of Sal’s ear.
“That wasn’t begging, Tory,” he said, voice warm like hot honey. “That was just whining.”
Tommy glanced down and saw Buck’s fingers pressing into his own calf. He didn’t stop. Just kept going, with that smug, slick mouth, sloppy wet sounds echoing in the space between them.
But Tommy knew exactly what Buck was doing. Knew he was trying to rub the ache away.
“Switch.”
Buck pulled off slow, licking his lips as he sat back on his heels. His breath was measured, practiced, but his left leg twitched, spasmed.
Tommy released Sal’s wrists and stood to his full height. His hands found Buck’s instantly, helping him to his feet. He ran hands over his arms, down his biceps, then back up again.
“You did good,” Tommy murmured. “Go sit on the arm. Watch him fall apart.”
Buck’s pupils were wide, lips swollen, chest rising and falling. He nodded once and moved to the arm of the chair, settling with a wince.
Tommy turned back to Sal.
He dropped to his knees slipping into the space Buck had left behind, one hand braced against Sal’s thigh.
“Now,” he said calmly, lips just a breath away from the flushed head of Sal’s cock, “you owe both of us some gratitude.”
From the arm of the chair, Buck watched.
He sat crooked, his weight off his left leg, one arm draped along the back cushion.
Tommy wrapped his lips around the head and sucked once, hard enough to make Sal jolt.
And that was it.
Sal snapped his hips.
Not wildly. Not even fully on purpose. Just a short, sharp thrust his control slipping after too long dancing on the edge. It punched a gag from Tommy’s throat and spit string between his lips as he pulled back slightly, eyes narrowing.
From the arm of the chair, Buck’s voice cut through the thick air. “Bedroom.”
Tommy turned his head slightly, just enough to glance at him, but Buck didn’t break eye contact with Sal.
“You can’t ride him in this chair."
Tommy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood. One hand gripped Sal’s jaw as he leaned in, letting his words land hot against his lips.
“Up. Now.”
Sal didn’t argue. He moved like his body wasn’t fully his, following the command before it was even finished.
Buck slid off the arm of the chair with a grunt, favoring his right leg. He followed behind them, when he reached the bedroom, he turned the lights to low.
The cuffs hung from the bedframe. Black leather. Tommy had already set the room.
Tommy steered Sal to their bed, fingers wrapped around the back of his neck.
“You ready for this?” Buck asked as his eyes rolled over Sal.
Sal just nodded, letting out a shuddering breath.
Tommy pushed him toward the bed.
“Then be a good boy and get on your back.”
Sal climbed onto the bed, arms falling above his head out of instinct. He didn’t resist when Tommy reached for the cuffs. Just laid there, chest rising fast, breath already hitching as leather wrapped around his wrists and locked him in place.
Buck watched as he leaned against the dresser for a moment watching the way Sal arched off the mattress as Tommy straddled his hips.
Tommy turned his head slightly, just enough for Buck to catch the flush in his cheeks, the tension riding high across his shoulders.
“Need a hand?” Buck asked, already moving toward the drawer beside the bed.
Tommy didn’t answer with words. Just looked over his shoulder, eyes heavy and dark blue, and gave a slight nod.
Buck came up behind him. He pressed one a kiss to Tommy’s shoulder as he reached for the bottle of lube. His other hand dragged down over the curve of Tommy’s ass, kneading the flesh there once, twice, before pulling him in close.
“Breathe,” Buck murmured into the back of his neck, licking the skin there. “I’ve got you.”
He popped the cap, slicked his fingers.
Sal moaned from beneath them, the sight alone enough to drive him insane.
“Fuck,” he breathed, tugging on the cuffs. “You two…”
“You’re lucky we’re letting you watch,” Buck said, voice sharp again as he pressed deeper. “So shut up and be good.”
Tommy’s hips rocked back against Buck’s hand, needy now.
“Almost ready, babe,” Buck whispered against his shoulder, breath warm. “Then he’s all yours.”
Tommy groaned low in his throat, his hips pressing back into Buck’s steady, slick touch as his fingers worked him open. The heat coming off him rolled over Buck’s skin as he leaned in closer, twisting to catch Buck's lip with his.
“You’re ready,” Buck whispered, pulling his hand away and giving a firm slap to Tommy’s ass before stepping back. His own breath caught for a moment, not from arousal but from the sharp protest in his leg.
He didn’t move to join them on the bed. Didn’t even reach for himself. He wanted to…God, he wanted to but the memory of that white-hot pain in his calf last time, the one that had left him breathless and locked up for half an hour, was enough to keep his hands still. He wouldn’t risk it. Not tonight. Not when just watching them was already burning him alive.
Tommy didn’t hesitate. He lined himself up and sank down slowly, his breath ragged, his hands braced on either side of Sal’s ribs. Sal’s body arched against the cuffs, pulling instinctively toward the source of the pleasure.
“Jesus, T…” Sal’s voice cracked into something hoarse and hungry. “Fuckin' move already."
“Shh,” Tommy murmured, voice all authority and molten patience as he bottomed out. “You’ve been a pain in the ass all night. Now you take what I give you.”
Tommy started to move. Each thrust drew a sound out of Sal that Buck wanted to bottle, that helpless, grateful little groan that lived in surrender. The cuffs rattled. Sal’s heels dug into the mattress.
“You’re watching Ev,” Tommy drawled over his shoulder, rolling his hips lazily. “You gonna make him say your name before I let him come?”
Buck’s mouth curved, but his hands didn’t move from the dresser. “Tempting,” he murmured. “But I’d rather let him sweat. Keep him wondering if I’ll give him anything at all.”
Sal’s chest heaved. “You…” The word broke on a thrust. “…are fucking evil.”
“That’s my boy,” Buck replied, heat curling in every syllable. His eyes stayed locked on Sal’s face, reading every twitch, every attempt to keep himself from spilling over too soon.
Tommy’s pace picked up, the slap of skin on skin filling the room. Buck let his head fall back for half a second, breathing through the ache before snapping his gaze forward again.
“I want those pretty eyes on me, Sal,” he ordered, his voice cutting through the air. Sal’s eyes flew open, finding his across the space.
Tommy smirked down at Sal, clearly enjoying the tension snapping between them. “You heard him.”
Sal made a wrecked noise, half-protest, half-need. His body strained against the cuffs, his knuckles white where they wrapped the leather. Arms flexing as he snapped his hips “Please..” The word was torn out of him on a gasp. “Please, pup.”
“Not yet.”
Tommy groaned low, his rhythm stuttering as he caught Buck’s eye. “God, you’re mean.”
Buck just smiled faintly.
Sal whimpered, still locked on Buck’s eyes, the cuffs creaking at his desperate pulls.
Buck pushed himself off the dresser, his limp more pronounced as he moved towards the bed. “Hold still,” he murmured, leaning over Sal. Sal’s eyes flashed as he watched Buck work the buckle loose and then the other.
Tommy glanced over his shoulder, brows drawn. “Ev…”
“Shhh,” Buck said without looking at him. “I’m not finished.”
The moment Sal’s wrists were free, Buck’s hand landed hard on his chest, holding Sal in place so he could leaned in, voice low enough for only Sal to hear. “Flip him. Now.”
Sal’s grin was dangerous as he surged up. Tommy let out a startled sound, caught entirely off guard as Sal rolled them hard, pinning him to the mattress with his knees bracketing Tommy’s hips.
Buck stepped back, his mouth curving as Tommy blinked up at Sal, wide-eyed for half a second before his expression melted into hunger.
"Your turn to behave.” Sal’s voice was low, his hands already locking around Tommy’s wrists and shoving them into the pillows.
Tommy’s breath caught, that telltale spark in his eyes igniting as he tested Sal’s hold and found it unmovable.
From his spot at the foot of the bed, Buck leaned on the post, leg eased off the floor. “Funny thing about control, T,” he drawled. “Sometimes it’s only yours because I let you keep it.”
Tommy’s answering groan was half-laugh, half-surrender.
"Give him what he wants Sal." Buck smiled.
Sal’s grin was all teeth as he shifted, pressing against Tommy’s hole.
When Tommy’s gaze flicked past Sal and landed on Buck, he reached out instinctively, fingertips brushing air in Buck’s direction.
Buck’s whole face softened for half a second then shuttered. He shook his head. “No. Don’t.” His leg twitched, his breath too short. But he wasn’t ready to let go. Not of the reins. Not of them.
Tommy froze, pulse thrumming in his throat.
“This isn’t about me,” Buck stated quietly. “Eyes on him. Keep those hands right where Sal puts them.”
“…Yeah.”
“Good,” Buck murmured, leaning back against the post again.
Tommy’s chest rose and fell faster, pinned and held, his wrists flexing under Sal’s hands as if testing Sal’s hold, only for him to tighten it. Sal leaned down until their foreheads nearly touched. “You heard him,” Sal murmured. “Gonna be a good for me?”
Tommy’s eyes darkened.
“Words, T,” Buck’s voice cut in from the foot of the bed.
“Yes,” Tommy breathed, like it cost him something to say it.
Sal’s smirk widened. “Good.”
He shifted his weight just enough to thrust slow and deep making Tommy groan into the pillow. The rhythm was purposeful not to push him over, but to keep him balanced right there on the edge.
Buck’s gaze tracked every movement, every twitch in Tommy’s jaw. “Slower,” he said, and Sal obeyed instantly, rolling his hips until the pace was maddening.
Tommy’s head turned toward Buck again, lips parting maybe to plead, maybe to curse but Buck just shook his head. “Eyes. On. Him.”
Tommy's pupils widened. His gaze snapped back to Sal, swallowing hard.
“Fuckin’ insane, right,” Sal groaned, sweat dripping from his jaw as he rocked his hips deeper. “That tone. Baby boy been hiding shit from us.”
Tommy hands fisted in the sheets for half a second before Sal caught them again and held him down, pressed into the sweet spot that made his mouth fall open.
“You want it?” Sal dragged the words out all filth and reverence all at once.
Tommy nodded, chest heaving, eyes glassy.
“Yes.”
“Ask.”
“Please.”
Buck rubbed his leg, watching them. “That’s better. Let him have it, Sal.”
Sal didn’t waste a second. His pace shifted from slow torture to a deep, relentless drive that had Tommy breaking apart in under a minute, back arching, hands fisting in the sheets. His release hit hard, a sound catching in his throat as Sal held him down through every pulse of it.
When Tommy finally sagged into the mattress, boneless, Sal released his wrists but stayed hovering over him, breathing hard.
Buck pushed off the post, crossing the room with a measured limp. He ran a hand down Sal’s back, then over Tommy’s sweat-damp hair. "God, you two are a mess.” He kissed Sal’s shoulder, then Tommy’s temple in turn. “My mess.”
Buck’s mouth curved as he sank onto the mattress beside them, stretching his leg out. “Of course I did,” he said simply. “Control’s only fun when you know how to share it.”
Tommy was still breathing hard, his forehead pressed to Sal’s shoulder. Sal’s arms had already shifted from holding him down to holding him close, one hand rubbing slow circles into the small of his back.
Buck leaned in and he realized he was weighing down the sheet twisted around Sal and Tommy’s feet. He pushed himself up, moving to free their limbs and winced as a tight pull shot through his lower back and up the side of his leg.
It wasn’t searing pain. Just a sharp tug, warning him that he’d overdone it.
“Buck.” Sal’s voice was low, the kind of tone that didn’t invite argument.
Buck glanced up, caught between guilt and instinct. “I’m fine,” he said automatically, then sighed, clarifying. “Just tight.”
“You stayed on that leg too long,” Sal said, already shifting to sit up. His hand curled around Buck’s wrist. “Lay the fuck down.”
Before Buck could argue, Tommy tugged at his shirt again, gentler this time. “C’mere,” he mumbled. "Want you."
Sal guided Buck between them, carefully easing him down, one arm slipping behind his back while Tommy curled in from the other side. A pillow was tucked behind Buck’s knee, and Sal's warm hands started kneading circles into his calf.
“You were so good for us,” Sal murmured against his temple. “Ran the whole show. Like a fuckin’ ring master.”
Tommy hummed, already half-asleep. “Five stars,” he mumbled.
Buck chuckled softly. “You gonna leave a Yelp review?”
Sal didn’t answer right away just pressed a kiss to the side of Buck’s head, thumb stroking along his jaw. “Better,” he said. “I’m gonna make you breakfast in the morning. Both of you. You earned it.”
Tommy was already drifting, cheek pillowed on Buck’s bare chest, one arm flung across his stomach. Buck’s hand rested in Tommy’s hair, but his blue eyes were locked on Sal's.
Soft. Open. Unmistakably in love.
Sal leaned in, brushing their noses together before pressing a kiss to Buck’s lips, one that lingered lazily like a promise.