doing that big shake that dogs and wolves do would fix me

One of my professors told me recently “You aren’t in the drivers or passengers seat when you write a story. The characters are in the drivers seat and they’ve locked you in the trunk” and I mean he’s not wrong.

Some of you are reading this like you’re supposed to get out of the trunk. No. Frankly, the characters know better than you most of the time.

matching couple shirts that say "bearer of the curse" on one of them and ,"the curse" on the other

I showed my mom this post and she immediately said that would have been a great shirt for her and infant onesie for me

they should invent joints that don’t hurt

sometimes i agree with a post but not the tone it was written in yknow. like yes you’re right but also maybe have you considered it from this angle. maybe you should just be a little kinder to everyone

the hardest thing is when ur going through something terrible there is an awful middle phase of it when u don’t know if u can get through it or if you’ll ever be okay again and the truth is always you will get through it and you will absolutely be okay again but u just cant see it at the time

40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back. 

lets hear it for transgenderism and faggotry. can I get a round of applause for transgenderism and faggotry

reblogging this because when they go through my phone and find my tumblr they’ll see this

As an actual mom, I approve this message. If your parents say it’s a normal part of parenting, no. No it’s not. They are wrong.

be pro-aging but wear sun screen. sun protection is not beauty industry propaganda it will save you. wear it. or else.

Can I please see your balls I'm going through a lot right now

The king asking his jester to juggle for him after a long day

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

something so intimate about handmade stuff, handmade bread, handmade presents, or handwritten letters, in general intimacy and tenderness are stored in hands, in holding hands and playing with each other's fingers, warming each other's hands...

slowly puts my hand out for my new followers to sniff before I try to pet them

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: fandomObscura reading: #one of the porn bots licks it /End ID]