peut-être grande

Basically, I vlogged for 3 seconds everyday. Not really interesting but I suggest you watch it bc that’s cool lol. I might do this again in December when my days become enthralling enough.

Who would believe that I’m already 15 and is about to enter Senior Highschool? I literally look like a 6-year old kid who cries over dropped lollipops. But yes, I’ve already completed Junior Highschool which kind of makes me sad and happy at the same time. A lot of things run through my head whenever I think of leaving my alma mater and entering a new one. And sometimes, I can’t deal with them anymore. (I know, I’m too delirious)

First of all, I am afraid of losing social life. But I swear my social life was healthier way back 8th grade. Idk man, it’s just, a lot of things has happened that shaped me to what I am now, social-wise. I know that the world is too huge ass of a place for me to not meet new friends. So fingers-crossed that I will meet new awesome group of friends. (But I’m still scared lol)

Second, I literally don’t know what track to take for the SHS. I’m torn between Arts & Design Track and STEM. Either of the two, I’m still not sure what I would be after all this school thing. I did take homeroom activities tackling what track to take and even NCAE, But I don’t think they helped me at all lol. I’m so pressured right now because it’s already April yet I still haven’t chosen a track. Someone halp meh

But on a brighter note, I made it! After all the stress that school has gave me, the heartbreaks I took, all the arguments with my friends, just all these shiz that I didn’t think I would overcome in the first place, I finally completed this phase of highschool. I’ve made it this far. Sucks that we’re not called “graduates” and didn’t wear graduation gown tho.

I’ve met awesome people whom I call my friends, learned a lot of things like school lessons (which by now have been forgotten lmao) and real-life lessons, fallen in love (more like infatuation lolol) and made stupid but remarkable memories. I will forever treasure all of these.

And yep, perhaps it’s a goodbye to a room and hello to a new one. It’s time to enter a new door, a new chapter of life.

Ps, Elline, I hope you grow more mature and be an independent woman as you roam into the wilderness, as you like to call it. Stay alive.

Love, self.

As tagged by herquiescent. :-)

First, Sunset. Something about fiery red or pastel sky makes me ecstatic. The way the clouds float in the atmosphere is just, beautiful. If I could marry the sunset, I probably would have done it by now.

Second, Ice cream. Sounds childish, right? But seriously, if you were to make me choose the only sweets that I would eat for the rest of my life, it would be ice cream. 

Third, Rain. The cold weather, coffee and bed. Something about hearing raindrops on your roof, the dripping water in the window pane, and being able to smell the petrichor, is just so serene. I find peace during this kind of weather.

Fourth, Poems. The words being crafted into a beautiful form of art, so alluring. 

Fifth, Being loved. Who doesn’t want to be loved? Even just the smallest act, it delights me. Even when someone gives me a candy, it suddenly makes me feel appreciated, you know? It’s the thought that they have thought of you. 

And because there’s more than 5 things that make me happy, here’s a bonus.

Sixth, Bands. A lot of bands. I’m a sucker for groups of people consisting of a drummer, guitarists and a bassist. I fancy them more than single artists, honestly. 

2015—A year full of heartbreaks and wild rides.

Post-Christmas Wanders, 26 December 2015

I don’t want Christmas to end.

Just no. I want it to be everlasting. Not because I don’t want gift-giving and receiving presents to end. Not because I don’t want our noche buena to be gone soon. Not because I don’t want christmas lights to stop blinking for good and christmas trees to be put down. Not because I don’t want my christmas playlist to stop from playing. Not because I don’t want the cold weather to warm up yet. Not because even a single snow hasn’t fallen yet or because Santa hasn’t came to town yet.

Maybe because I feel like we only give love and share blessings at this time of the year. I feel like we only recognize Jesus during his season. And even I, am no exception to these. I feel guilty. I feel like I only appreciate the people around me during christmas.

To all the friends I’ve lost in the Year of 2015...

Dear Twinny, you have been one of my greatest friends. It saddens me that we somehow lost our closeness. We’re still friends but not like before. We would talk, chat and see each other at school, but the way we do those before was way more different. Nonetheless, you’ll always be my twinny. 

Dear Hershey, I remember when I gave you the name “hershey” for our secret santa last year. You have been so kind and jolly throughout the three years we’ve been through. I feel so complete whenever I’m with you and the rest of the “let there be light“ squad. We’re still friends but not like before. You’re my go-to whenever I need help, so thank you.

2015 is a year of good music to be freaking honest. 

1. Blue Neighbourhood — Troye Sivan

The Wild EP is like a sneak-peek of the actual album. Anyway, this is so good. The whole album is so beautiful. Plus, the album art is truly an art. Troye is already big and known for being a youtuber, but I just know he’s going to get even bigger. My favorite tracks are for him, SUBURBIA, and EASE.

2. Sounds Good Feels Good — 5 Seconds Of Summer

GO BUY IT ON ITUNES!!! It’s freaking good. I don’t know how to describe this album but this gave me mixed emotions. I just cannot believe how 5sos’ music has changed so much. To be honest, they became lyrically better. Everything is da bomb but the tracks that I love the most are Invisible, San Francisco, Waste The Night and Outer Space / Carry On.

3. Wiped Out!  — The Neighbourhood

It is very chill and just beautiful. I love everything rock—alternative, hard, indie, punk, anything. If you love The 1975, you might wanna check these bad boys out. My favorite tracks are Prey, Cry Baby, Daddy Issues and Greetings from Califournia.

4. Magical Mystery Tour — The Beatles

If you didn’t know—probably because I haven’t mentioned it yet—but yep, I am a huge fan of 5 Seconds of Summer for almost two years now. They have announced last month that they’re having a live show here in Manila on March 12, 2016. And. I. Am. Not. Coming.

The ticket-selling started on the 27th of November. I literally only have 2k to spend for some ticket that time, and I’m aiming for, at least, lowerbox. Pero ano mararating ng 2k? Genad? jusme. So, I decided to save up some more. 

Talagang kinwenta ko na yung school allowance ko mula nung araw na yon hanggang december. Pati nga estimated na mapapamaskuhan ko eh, lol. Fortunately, it’ll reach about 6k. I felt relieved that time. But when the actual ticket selling day came, they said the pre-sale had it almost sold out. Ugh. Then, on the actual ticket-selling day, it was sold out. S o l d o u t. They should hold a second day, you know? Does someone feel me? 

Sana kasi sinabi ko kila mama at papa. Baka sakaling pautangin ako, lol. And if so, I shouldn’t be crying here. Why is fate so cruel to me? 

Still, I’m trying to keep my hopes up. Wishing that I make money fast; hoping that there’s someone who would sell some spare ticket. 

Editing this video was a little bit fun, I guess. From searching for music to use, to combining all the clips to make one video. This was actually taken on the 25th day of April. I was really planning on editing this by the time I filmed it. But since Windows Movie Maker kept on crashing before, I didn’t continue it. But now it’s fixed! This was purely just for fun.

No, you shouldn’t.

I grew up living in a home where the phrase, “May mga tao ngang walang makain eh” is always being told. And not only with foods. Whether it’s money, clothes, education, etc. We are always bombarded by my parents with that kind of phrase. It’s so funny how I just ignored them when I was a kid. But now, uhm, I don’t know. Still in the process of applying it?

Just a few minutes ago, I was talking with my mom about the Keds sneakers she wants to buy for me. I don’t even have some nice shoes, something like branded lol. Honestly, I don’t like the design of it. Grey sneakers with white stars all over it? Ehh, not-so-me. But since she’s just ordering some shoes for us because there’s discounts for some selected shoes, and it’s “Keds” (lol way better than the sneakers I wear to school), I just went with it. And yep, right now, she’s just finishing the order. What I actually learned at this very moment are (a) It’s not all the time, you’ll get what you want, and (b) I am so lucky to have something that others do not have, so better be thankful.

Lakbayan 2015, 11 November 2015 

Barasoain Church, Malolos, Bulacan

Dear the 15-year-old me,

First of all, I’m writing this not to condone what you are acting nowadays, but for you to grow in your actions.

I just want to say that you are such an annoying rugrat, seriously. Can you please stop being so introverted? I’m so tired having only 4 friends at school and literally no friends at church. Why are you so afraid of people? You are such a socially awkward person. Try to talk to them sometimes.Though they don’t get your sense of humor (if you have one), though you have nothing sensible to say, still, please try. That little circle you made, get out of it. Step out of your comfort zone. 

I want you to grow. I want you to be emotionally and spiritually mature. You always profess you have faith, but why not show it? It’s not just about your relationship with Him, but also your fellowship with other people. 

I am challenging you this: At the end of the year, I want you to be friends with atleast your SOL classmates and be friends with the TPKs lol. 

Meet The Vamps CD Signing Event, 02 February 2015.