*If music be the fruit of Love*

“The heart is still present, But the feeling is gone. The warmth feels like it’s not holding on. My heart beats, to keep me alive. And yet I feel like I’m dying inside.”

I’ve been searching for an exit but I’m lost inside my head Where I spend every waking moment wishing I was dead

You’ve been hurt sorely. Please let me change that. Please. I remember once when one of our friends cracked a joke, and for a split second I saw your smile - fucking hell, I froze. Nobody ever made me feel paralyzed like you did with an innocent gesture. When will you ever let me in? I guess when I told you I thought about you every night and that you reminded me of black and white films and red wine, it wasn’t enough. I’ll choose you over any girl I tried to undress. Because you’re depth. I’ll make you see why I love you. I’ll show you how beautiful you are. I’ll tell you in words, I’ll portray it with actions. I promise. I’ll do everything I can to make the voices go away. I’ll make you comfortable with your body. Your curves, your stretch marks, your hips. All of those I love. I’ll kiss your bruises. I’ll kiss your scars. I’ll kiss you when you ask me to go away because you’re busy with homework but we’ll end up making out on your doorstep anyway. My goal is to make you laugh while we’re kissing. That would be heaven on earth. We’ll take a train to a city we’ve both never been before, and I want you to realize that you’re not caged in one place. There’s a city fit for you- fit for us- where not a single person knows me and you. Baby, you can start all over again. You won’t feel destructive anymore. Because soon, you’ll be a revolution that I cannot touch. I’ll throw stones in your window at four in the morning so we could chase the sunup and I won’t return you to your parents till you’ve seen the sundown. We’ll fuck in a cheap motel along the highway but when I can’t really take it; I’ll pull over and we’ll fuck in the backseat of my car. Because I need you, because there are times I’ll look at you and it will take me minutes to grasp that you’re mine, you beautiful girl, and I hope you need me too. And if you’re crying, I will leave the school field trip just to see you. I’ll leave the party. I will leave work to see you. Fuck, I’ll run. I won’t be one of those boys who will make up lies to make you feel better. I won’t say a thing. I’ll be silent. I’ll push away your tears with my thumbs, I will hold you until you stop shaking, I will straighten out the knots in your hair. When you aren’t looking, tears will spring up from my eyes. Because you’re hurting- and I’m hurting too. By now, I have an inkling how your mind works. You’ll think you’ll feel weak when you’re near me but rest assured, you’re the one making me weak.