Mutilate..

( @solitariusdeluna ) Coyote ♥

am i a male-wife?

Akon

You look like shit with your under eye bags. Still unable to get over your cushy little bubble, are we? Do you need me to help kick you into gear with some meds or something? Happy birthday by the way, shortstop. -drops paperwork on her desk- Was it a good one?

Happy birthday, wife.

i think it's our third year together now. i hope you like this gift and don't think me boring for choosing something similar to last year. i just saw this and thought you'd like it. i'm not that great at gift-giving apparently. apologies for that. i hope to try harder next year. anyway, love you and i'll see you soon.

Your husband

She is undoubtedly EXHAUSTED. Haru had been up & down all night. Each time the little one would make his way to the end of their bed, he had a new reason why he needed his mother's attention. 'Tummy hurts, mommy', 'Tsuki woke me up, mommy', 'I wanna stay with you, mommy'. She had conceded DEFEAT roughly halfway through the night & eventually settled on letting the small boy remain in bed with them. Tsuki was a daddy's girl. She always wanted Starrk when she needed tending to. Haruya, however, was a mama's boy through & through & unfortunately, far more FUSSY of a child than his sister. Chiyo didn't mind MOST of the time. It came with the territory of having young ones. Only, up until recently, she didn't have to wake up nearly as early & it wasn't such a DETRIMENT to be woken up multiple times in the night. Now? She had to be up quite early for the commute to the Seireitei. She had previously been a PROFESSIONAL when it came to working long hours on little sleep. In fact, it was the way of their division. But she had become SPOILED with sleeping in & now it wasn't as easy as it once was. She has to PEEL her son off of her when it comes time to drag herself out of bed. She tucks him back in with little protest from Haru. He must have worn himself out from his own ANTICS & would most likely rest peacefully until it came time for their father to make them breakfast. Chiyo feels the exhaustion HIT her like a ton of bricks & she groans quietly to herself. It was going to be a LONG day. She makes her way to the closet in search of her uniform (if it could even be called that anymore, given her recent modifications). Crystal optics halt in their search when SOMETHING gets her attention. A box, nicely wrapped & placed atop her dresser.

She hadn’t a head for dates. Between ROWDY toddlers at home, recently returning full time to work & her recent promotion to third seat, Chiyo couldn’t remember the last time she had looked at a calendar. Life was lovely & perfect, but could feel overwhelming at times. She knew that was NORMAL when you became a parent, but she supposed she had not expected just how truly out of touch she had become from her previously detail oriented tenancies.  Things never used to SLIP by her. She always was particular, precise & planned nearly everything ahead. But when she has an encounter with Akon in the hallway & he makes mention of her birthday being a week away, the woman feels her heart DROP into her stomach. Birthday.                                           Birthday…                                                                                               Oh NO…

Her face falls in her hands. That meant it was February, didn’t it? HOW could she have been so incompetent? The days had come & gone so quickly & somehow, she overlooked an INCREDIBLY important day nestled in the midst of January. Her husband hadn’t even said anything. He didn’t even seem off or DISAPPOINTED. He simply went about his normal household duties & with his recently booming dairy business, she wonders if even he had overlooked it. But she doubted it. He was too kind to say anything. Too LOVING of a man to tell her she had forgotten his birthday. She had no doubt seemed outwardly stressed to him & Chiyo assumed Starrk didn’t want to mention it, lest he add more stress to her plate.  She begins lamenting to Akon; a situation he is not quite sure HOW to comfort her on but he seems aware enough not to resort to their typical teasing & insults. Instead he stands there AWKWARDLY & offers her a “that is... unfortunate.”, which she’s sure is his own way of trying to be sympathetic in a situation he may not entirely understand. Akon was a lot how she used to be; detail oriented & focused. But somewhere in all of the CHAOS she had let that slip away. “I have to leave early.” she wasn’t asking him. She was informing him. Of course she had been VERY careful to better her attendance in recent weeks, what with everything going on & him asking her to return full time. But today this was more important. He begrudges her somewhat, but gives very little genuine pushback on the subject. Only stating that he would be EXPECTING her to stay late tomorrow, to which she agrees before making a less than graceful, speedy exit. She doesn’t know WHAT to do. Normally she would have purchased some sort of thoughtful, extravagant gift WEEKS before his birthday even happened. But this wasn’t going to be one of those years & she was sure she’d be KICKING herself until his next birthday. But she would make it up to him. After she begged for forgiveness, of course. She RUSHES home, feeling tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. Dammit. Sleep deprivation wasn’t helping much in her emotional state. Normally, the journey isn’t as taxing, nor does it feel so long. But today, the DISTANCE between the Seireitei & their little home nestled in the forest seemed so vast & daunting. Though she knows it takes her the same amount of time, she feels EXHAUSTED from the journey once their estate comes into view.  She doesn’t even have to go inside to find him. He is stationed in the pens, a gentle hand brushing over his PRIZED Betsy whist the little ones frolic amongst the other livestock, divvying out feed & chasing chickens. Starrk smiles lovingly when he sees her, but it immediately shifts to an expression of CONCERN when he takes in her distressed features. Chi stands at a distance, lower lip poking out & small hands trembling at her side. “What is wrong, mi amor?” he inquires in that soothing tone of his.  The shinigami looks to her children, making sure they were distracted enough to not listen into the conversation. Their cognitive skills were coming a long way & the LAST thing she wanted was for one of their first memories to be hearing what a horrible wife she was.  “My birthday is next week..” She says with a frown, eyes casting off to the side.  To this he nods. “I’m aware.” OF COURSE he was. Because good partners didn’t forget their other half’s birthday.  She moves closer, voice low & WAVERING. “I forgot your birthday….” admitting this out loud to him seems to be what makes emotions spill over the edge & now she’s found herself fully SOBBING. But it doesn’t take him long to do what he does & he's right in front of her, wrapping his arms around her tightly & shushing her. She feels his hand gently petting her hair & this gives her enough comfort to compose herself a bit better. She was so MAD he was comforting her in this situation. She didn’t DESERVE it.  “I’m SO sorry… I didn’t even get you a gift or anything. I don’t know how I could have forgotten like that.” She sniffling into him & feeling rather PITIFUL in that moment. She truly wasn’t WORTHY of him. Starrk pulls back ever so slightly & she’s expecting him to look disappointed. But he DOESN’T. His expression is soft & loving, as it always is when he looks at her. Chiyo feels the pads of his thumbs brushing softly against her damp cheeks. “Mi amor, there is a lot going on & you know I never really CARE about my birthday.” Then a kiss is placed against her forehead, “But I love that you do care.” a slight chuckle escapes him. He seemed almost AMUSED by the situation. “This life is the best gift you could have possibly given me & I’m thankful for it everyday.”  Chiyo wipes her nose with her sleeve & peers up at him with those BIG eyes, “You’re really not mad?” To which he is quick to respond with a smile & a shake of his head.  “Of course not. I’m sure you’ll be DETERMINED to find some way to make it up to me, though.” He laughs. She returns that statement with a sheepish expression. He knew her well.  The wheels were already turning with what sort of thoughtful gift she could bestow upon him as SOON as she possibly could. “Well, at least let me make you dinner & take the rest of your evening to RELAX. I can take care of the kids & the animals.” Chiyo knew Starrk would return the request with PROTEST, but she holds a finger up & waggles it at him. “No arguments. Please.” He thins his lips, appearing to THINK on it for a moment. “I’ll let you cook me dinner. BUT the other things we can do together. I just want to enjoy your company.” It seemed a fair enough trade & truthfully, Betsy did NOT like her nearly as much as she liked Starrk. She always seemed so uninterested in her. If a cow could be JEALOUS, then Betsy certainly would be the QUEEN of it.  “Alright. Together, then.” She nods affirmatively.  Starrk takes her hand in his own, pulling it up, whilst simultaneously bending down to press his lips to the back of it. “Always.” 

I’m not dead. Just going through big life changes.

Coyote ♥ ( @solitariusdeluna​ )

i was told to tell you that i enjoy you often. but also to sell my family. don't think i'm doing that one though.

❝OFTEN is right~❞                                & she’ll stifle a small SNICKER before continuing,                                ❝Hmm. Didn’t much like being sold the first time. So I’d definitely say REFRAIN from that one. Besides, you’d miss me too much. How could you enjoy me often if you sell your family?❞

Coyote ♥ ( @solitariusdeluna​ )  from X

He felt her move but wasn't roused from his sleep until her heard the faint sobbing and gasps for air. Immediately his eyes open slowly accustoming himself to his surroundings before focusing on her hunched up form. Starrk then reached a hand over to her and gently rubbed her back. It looked like she had a nightmare. This hadn't happened in so long. He then sat up and moved to embrace his distraught wife. ' it's okay, mi amor. I'm here. I'm right here. And you're safe with me. and everything's okay. ' his tone was soothing and gentle despite his sleepiness and he hoped she would start to calm down soon enough.

                      She JOLTS momentarily when a large hand makes contact with her back. The action pulls her mind further away from her FIT, causing her grip on her hair too loosen & her breath to come out in a full yet shaky SIGH. She can still feel the tears on her cheeks, warm & unrelenting in their assault, as though there were simply NO way to close these floodgates.                        Of course she knew everything was alright. & yet, her body refused to cooperate, unable to release itself from her SCRUNCHED state. His arms wrapping around her gives some RELIEF & Chi leans into him as much as her body will allow her to. She says nothing for minutes. Instead she merely focuses on BREATHING. Steadying it. Gaining some sense of CONTROL in a moment when she felt so OUT OF CONTROL. But the warmth he provides is a beacon- grounding her & giving her mind a light to GRAVITATE towards.                       & when some SEMBLANCE of that control is achieved, she finally speaks. ❝I’m sorry,❞ Comes her hushed & meek tone between CHOKED gasps & soft sobs, ❝It was just a bad dream.❞

Anonymous

Nightmare scenerio: Mayuri somehow took your hybrid babies and started experimenting on them. He also managed to drug and subdue their father and he's getting poked and prodded worse than the babies.

                                It was her WORST fears come true. How had she been so CARELESS? Letting such sensitive information slip into the wrong hands was her BIGGEST mistake yet. How her captain discovered the existence of her husband- her ARRANCAR husband & their hybrid offspring was beyond her comprehension. They had been so thorough. Keeping the number of those who knew to a bare MINIMUM, settling their house in the deep wood of rukongai, making no mention of her life outside of work to ANYONE. & yet, despite those precautions & more, they had still wound up here. 

                                Her children were a biological ANOMALY. Never before seen & with all logical lines of thinking in mind, they should have NEVER existed. Chi knew from the SECOND she knew of their existence they would be at risk. She was a member of the S.R.D.I. Her captain would go to ANY lengths he felt necessary for the sake of science. & a chance to poke & prod such a spectacle would NOT be a missed opportunity for him. 

                                She was foolish to think she could keep this a secret from her own CAPTAIN. & now her children & the man she loves were paying the price. The cries of her offspring in another room are faint & yet, incredibly DEAFENING. She doesn’t know WHAT is being done. She doesn’t WANT to know. Her hands clasp over her ears while she tucks her knees TIGHT to her chest. She thinks about Starrk. What he must be going through. She hadn’t heard anything, but she could imagine the PRIMERA ESPADA would not go IGNORED by Kurotsuchi-taichou. The thought makes her stomach CHURN & the bile burns in the back of her throat. Through all of this, she NEVER cared about what happened to herself. Executed for treason, no doubt. But that thought didn’t bother her. It was her family- the only real love she had EVER had being lab rats for the REST of their lives. 

                                Her frame is WRACKED with uncontrollable sobs. No matter how small she curls up or how tightly she SQUEEZED her eyes shut, it wouldn’t stop. She could still see the FLORESCENT lighting, hear the sound of leaky pipes transposed with the CRIES of her children. It was SUFFOCATING & inescapable. & she just wanted it to STOP. 

LOUDER & LOUDER the cries become. 

                       LOUDER. 

                                                          LOUDER. 

                                                                                            LOUDER. 

Until she opens her eyes again. 

                                Moonlight leaks in through the curtains adorning the bedroom windows. Gently, the fabric SWAYS in the warm breeze. The silence is CUT with the sounds of her panting & gasps for air. Frantic eyes glance from her husband & over to the cots where the twins slept soundly. Chi finds herself ROCKING her small frame back & forth, trying desperately to compose herself after such a HIDEOUS nightmare. 

That’s all it was. 

                                                              Just a NIGHTMARE. 

                                But that doesn't stop the TEARS from coming. It doesn’t stop her breath from coming out in shaky gasps. Slender digits tangle into light strands of hair, gripping on & YANKING when it seems the sobbing won’t subside. Everything was okay. So WHY was she reacting this way? Wasn’t she supposed to be PAST this by now?

                                                       Shouldn’t the nightmares have STOPPED?