Coloring Your Life,We Are An Architect

Know yourself.

Like a career, long term relationship success requires perseverance and flexibility. People live happily ever after only in the movies.

Problems are much easier to deal with when they're still small than if you you've let them grow over time.

How do you determine what you passionately want to do?

Greed is a hole you can never fill

Do what you think is right.

Character is like a tree, and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

The biggest mistake men make when they think about getting married is they assume women won't change; the biggest mistake women make is they assume they can change men.

I try not to obsess on the past, but to learn from it. I try not to worry about the future, but to prepare for it. And while it's difficult sometimes, I try to take pleasure in the moment, even when bad things happen.

Showing need is a precondition of strength rather than weakness

If we understand ourselves properly, we will know that there are many side of us that need improvement.

the way we approach love as adults is highly shaped by how we experienced love as children

Whatever we choose will be a bit wrong, the real skill is not always to strive to make better choices, it's to know how to make our peace with our necessarilly bad choices. we should with cheer accept that we never had ideal options in the first place.

we're big now. we have the capacity to cope very well. we'll be sad for a while but won't actually be destroyed. we are no longer the children for whom loss was unbearable.

Everyone is both ok and sometimes a bit awful, we are bit weak, bit sly and bit foolish, but so is everyone. we are of course all deeply flawed.

Some of the qualities we find most attractive in adults are those that were manifest in our caregivers from childhood. the affection of our partners can end up tinged with a feeling of familiarity. in their arms, in emotional sense, we come home.

If we inted to get better at relationship, we must attempt to examine the calls of romantic love rationally