The Western Sky Isn't Too Far

7. Lulu Crashing 

Literally what is stopping this straight white couple from being together their whole life? Lit’rally nothing. There is no conflict. oh no i have this sexy best friend and we play little ukelele tunes for each other having sex would totally, what, ruin this once in a lifetime dynamic?? oh for fuck’s sake. Even his own fiance is waiting anxiously for these two to bang like-

0/10 not Feral OR Morally Unhinged

6. Godmother Fleabag

DEFINITLEY Feral but is too rooted in society’s expectations to truly become morally unhinged. Not sneaky at all, although, major props for being openly horny for the men around her right in front of her own mans. WOULD attend her sexhibition, would NOT attend her wedding.

4/10 Feral, but needs work on Morally Unhinged

5. Carolyn Killing Eve

DEFINTILEY Morally Unhinged but is so put together she’d rather die than be seen as feral. Has a rotating list of lovers, could give a fuck about her kid, and literally spotted some homoerotic tension between her employee and a notorious assassian and was like “checkmate imma use this sapphic situation to spin these bitches and manipulate them into doing my dirty, dirty bidding- just another day at the job.” smokes a fat blunt afterwards to celebrate, too.

5/10 maxed out on Morally Unhinged, will get more points when she finally loses her cool and becomes fully Feral

4. Fleabag Fleabag

now HERE’S some LEGITIMATE HETEROSEXUAL CONFLICT!!!! fleabag’s after a priest!! this is an ACtUAL reason why this straight white duo can’t immediatley be together!! she wants what she can’t have!! a little sexual church tension!! pure sexiness! phoebe knew what she was doing when she cast a humble gay man to play this role- who else could bring such gentleness to the screen!!! KNEEL, BITCH!!!!!! i’ll never get over it.

6/10 fleabag grows as a character but will never lose her edge :’)

3. Villanelle Killing Eve

you’re a fool if you thought she’d come in first. she’s just trying to do her job well! At her core she’s simply a sad lonely gay pisces. gets extra feral points for her little sex & killing stirring the same feelings inside her. Kills for now, but Dream Job is being a stay at home trophy wife who cooks and shops for her wife.

8/10 feral & morally unhinged on the surface but peel back some layers and there’s only unbearable tenderness

2. Eve Killing Eve

ALMOST a first place win for eve. Job? Fuck that. Husband? Fuck that. This bitch is OUT of control!!! she HIRES villanelle even though she has ALL of the resources of MI6 at her fingertips. doesn’t even think TWICE when her boss lets her do it immediatley. not for one second does she pause in think “it’s odd carolyn is letting me do all this could i possibly be being manipulated right now?” HELL NO!!!! she’s completely lost in the sauce. ALSO has mad sex game . bangs her 26 year old co-worker while listening to 26 year old love interest via an earpiece. willing to die for pussy.

9/10 PEAK character development of releasing your inner Feralness and becoming fully unhinged- ladies take note!!!

1. Claire Fleabag

said “let’s go fucking crazy tonight” with such conviction and chaotic energy that it rearranged the chemicals in my brain and i asceneded to become a different person whose third eye was finally open. leaves her husband for a man named klare

15. you

14. can’t

13. rank

12. them

11. because

10. they

9. all

8. serve

7. a

6. different

5. purpose

4. and

3. are

2. great