eloisetg

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

when a car that's busted up doesn't use their turn signal. did you learn anything

*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet

Closing your eyes is kind of underrated

No, I would not steal a car. However, if I had the ability to create a copy of someone's car that I could have for free while the other person retained their original car, I would definitely do that.

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary

Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift