eloisetg

when a car that's busted up doesn't use their turn signal. did you learn anything

*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet

Closing your eyes is kind of underrated

No, I would not steal a car. However, if I had the ability to create a copy of someone's car that I could have for free while the other person retained their original car, I would definitely do that.

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary

Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift

sometimes when I get mad online I have remind myself that the coolest and most reasonable friend I have doesn’t know who dril is and asked me to explain what the acronym “MCU” stands for, because she spends most of her free time watching documentaries about industrial disasters with her girlfriend and going to quarries to collect rocks together. a better world is possible and it’s out there right now

me getting 10,000 dollars a week would solve not only all of my problems but also probably most of my friend's problems too