This guy talks a lot

"Oh... That sounds.... Difficult. Why are you getting rid of things, then?"

◇ It's only my things, I'm scared I'll die and he'll have to get rid of them by himself.

Sunny could hardly bring herself to ask. "...Are you still dying?"

◇ So far, yes...

How's that for a worst case scenario. "That... Sucks. I'm sorry. For both of you. We can help but I want to pack them away until you actually die, okay?"

◇ That sound good to me. I just don't want to force him to deal with it if he actually comes back... he's suffering enough already.

She kept her 'told ya' to herself. "I'm sorry to hear all that. I wish we had more to offer you. Are you at the apartment?"

◇ Yeah I'm in the apartment... and don't worry, you did as much as you could...

"Oh... That sounds.... Difficult. Why are you getting rid of things, then?"

◇ It's only my things, I'm scared I'll die and he'll have to get rid of them by himself.

Sunny could hardly bring herself to ask. "...Are you still dying?"

◇ So far, yes...

How's that for a worst case scenario. "That... Sucks. I'm sorry. For both of you. We can help but I want to pack them away until you actually die, okay?"

◇ That sound good to me. I just don't want to force him to deal with it if he actually comes back... he's suffering enough already.

She kept her 'told ya' to herself. "I'm sorry to hear all that. I wish we had more to offer you. Are you at the apartment?"

◇ Yeah I'm in the apartment... and don't worry, you did as much as you could...

"Oh... That sounds.... Difficult. Why are you getting rid of things, then?"

◇ It's only my things, I'm scared I'll die and he'll have to get rid of them by himself.

Sunny could hardly bring herself to ask. "...Are you still dying?"

◇ So far, yes...

How's that for a worst case scenario. "That... Sucks. I'm sorry. For both of you. We can help but I want to pack them away until you actually die, okay?"

◇ That sound good to me. I just don't want to force him to deal with it if he actually comes back... he's suffering enough already.

"Oh... That sounds.... Difficult. Why are you getting rid of things, then?"

◇ It's only my things, I'm scared I'll die and he'll have to get rid of them by himself.

Sunny could hardly bring herself to ask. "...Are you still dying?"

◇ So far, yes...

"Oh... That sounds.... Difficult. Why are you getting rid of things, then?"

◇ It's only my things, I'm scared I'll die and he'll have to get rid of them by himself.

"What's up?" She repeated, easing back toward the Courtyard.

"Well-avenged but not rescued," Freija muttered, a line Sunny gave her right before they were also almost killed by the Hive. She was just too underground to reach. "I'd help break them out if I didn't think I would just end up dead, too. Not enough backup." She frowned at him and wondered if they would stop just because Ellis got back up, and she didn't think so.

"Yeah. Missing someone is exhausting," she said. "I'm glad his memory is being kept. I visit the one here." She offered to hold him when he beeped, holding a hand out palm up near him. "Do you want me to take you to the others?"

Sunny popped open to share Light as she would to help another Ghost resurrect their Guardian as Freija frowned. "Are you sure you want to do that to him?"

Again, Freija didn't want to argue. "Are you sure bringing him back will help?"

◇ I'm not sure if leaving him dead will help...

"Most people don't want to die," Freija said with a small shrug. She still felt guilty about Sarah's death, knowing how early it was, what she'd been doing.... "It happens."

◇ Then... if I have a chance... shouldn't I take it?

"It's not my decision. I know where I stand on it, but it's up to you, ultimately."

"There's a guy named Ghost, my roommate's name is Three, my best friend's name is Rise and her roommate is Two, I'm apparently named after a really old goddess, according to a pandimensional being. I figure he wanted to keep his old one. No one has any room to talk shit about any names anywhere." She laughed aloud. "I thought it was pretty."

"That's sweet," Freija chuckled. "Sometimes I thought it was bad that he remembered his past, but things like that... then again, I would just feel bad about them being dead again." She smiled down at him when he leaned. It felt weird to hold someone that wasn't Sunny, but she didn't mind. She was glad she could do anything for him at all.

"Yeah? Can't imagine, must have been nasty. I forget shit when I've had enough, I guess, stuff will scramble after a few deaths doing the same things. Guess the real death gave him the distance he needed from Pre-Ellis."

◇ Maybe it was his way of feeling safe... he found some sort of comfort being able to remember everything all the time specially since he remembered the time when he could forget stuff.

"Oh? Could he ever? He mentioned early childhood and his parents, I assumed he could always remember like that."

◇ His perfect memory started when he became a guardian. Before that he could forget stuff like anyone, more actually since getting shot in the head actually messed part of his ability to remember... when I first brought him back all those memories he forgot came back, everything came back.

"That doesn't make any sense at all. He couldn't even remember his past life when he was alive? I assumed it was both lives and he just couldn't forget at all. I have so little recollection that we feel like completely different people."

"No, I understood. That just doesn't make sense," she said. "Doesn't really matter, that's how it went anyway." She shrugged. "All I could ever do was thank my luck that I wasn't like that. He made me notice a lot of ways I was lucky. And a lot of ways I was hurting myself." She 'hugged' him, pressing gently between her hands.

"I wish I could've gotten him to see it, too. Sunny'd been giving me hell for a few months by then, about how I wasn't trying to take care of myself. I didn't get it until I saw him doing the same thing times a thousand. I'd try to say, you can't just, and then describe something I did two days before." She sighed. "He didn't want to. Fuck, did he hate himself. For a stupid mistake, too, and not even really a mistake. Daresay it was a full blown trick. And then he got the memory back after he died and woke up? That's bullshit. What bullshit, whatever did that to him, it was utter bullshit."

"Dunno. I was giving up and hoping that he'd start just so I would leave him alone, or at least stop overheating at him."

Freija groaned dramatically with exasperation and put her arm over her face. "It was the only thing I could do! It pissed me off so much that the only way I could help him was bullying him! And I'm still absolutely certain that there were no other answers!"

◇ He never said this but... I know he was happy you cared so much for him. I think deep down, that part of him that would hurt all the time when other mistreated him was grateful when people cared despite everything.

You definitely aren't thinking about what's best for him if you bring him back, she didn't say. "Because you miss him would be my first guess, why you want to bring him back. You won't even be the first."

◇ It's wrong, right? It's not what he wants but what I do...

"Wanting to isn't wrong, but bringing him back for your own sake when you know it would hurt him is selfish," she said, trying to tell the truth without being cruel about it and having no idea how.

"If you were certain that bringing him back was the only medicine for you, I wouldn't be so harsh," she said. "But you could just be dooming Ellis the Third to die the same way. You will hurt him." She pet the shell and cupped him between her hands. "I understand, though. I would probably try to rez Sunny. She would definitely rez me into pain, she does it already and she just hates herself for it." She shrugged as it he could see it. "And not even to save our own lives. Just because."

◇ Even if it was... would it be fair?

"Nothing is," she said. "Nothing here can be."

And here she expected Tiny Fox. She wanted to answer but Yú seemed to still be listening.

"That... Doesn't surprise me," Freija said dryly. "Good luck, I suppose, to both of you. All of you. I know how fortune has fucked you and him over." She 'hugged' him in her hands as if she could protect him from life and death, a protective hold without getting tight.

"He probably knows and has decided to make the mistake," Freija murmured. She still didn't think she would be better under any circumstances. She wouldn't be smarter or calmer, and her decisions would be just as rash. "It'll be how it is and we can work on it from there."

"I wish I could do more. You know I'll try, just give me a call." She let her hands up as he took flight and tried to smile at him.

"What's up?" She repeated, easing back toward the Courtyard.

"Well-avenged but not rescued," Freija muttered, a line Sunny gave her right before they were also almost killed by the Hive. She was just too underground to reach. "I'd help break them out if I didn't think I would just end up dead, too. Not enough backup." She frowned at him and wondered if they would stop just because Ellis got back up, and she didn't think so.

"Yeah. Missing someone is exhausting," she said. "I'm glad his memory is being kept. I visit the one here." She offered to hold him when he beeped, holding a hand out palm up near him. "Do you want me to take you to the others?"

Sunny popped open to share Light as she would to help another Ghost resurrect their Guardian as Freija frowned. "Are you sure you want to do that to him?"

Again, Freija didn't want to argue. "Are you sure bringing him back will help?"

◇ I'm not sure if leaving him dead will help...

"Most people don't want to die," Freija said with a small shrug. She still felt guilty about Sarah's death, knowing how early it was, what she'd been doing.... "It happens."

◇ Then... if I have a chance... shouldn't I take it?

"It's not my decision. I know where I stand on it, but it's up to you, ultimately."

"There's a guy named Ghost, my roommate's name is Three, my best friend's name is Rise and her roommate is Two, I'm apparently named after a really old goddess, according to a pandimensional being. I figure he wanted to keep his old one. No one has any room to talk shit about any names anywhere." She laughed aloud. "I thought it was pretty."

"That's sweet," Freija chuckled. "Sometimes I thought it was bad that he remembered his past, but things like that... then again, I would just feel bad about them being dead again." She smiled down at him when he leaned. It felt weird to hold someone that wasn't Sunny, but she didn't mind. She was glad she could do anything for him at all.

"Yeah? Can't imagine, must have been nasty. I forget shit when I've had enough, I guess, stuff will scramble after a few deaths doing the same things. Guess the real death gave him the distance he needed from Pre-Ellis."

◇ Maybe it was his way of feeling safe... he found some sort of comfort being able to remember everything all the time specially since he remembered the time when he could forget stuff.

"Oh? Could he ever? He mentioned early childhood and his parents, I assumed he could always remember like that."

◇ His perfect memory started when he became a guardian. Before that he could forget stuff like anyone, more actually since getting shot in the head actually messed part of his ability to remember... when I first brought him back all those memories he forgot came back, everything came back.

"That doesn't make any sense at all. He couldn't even remember his past life when he was alive? I assumed it was both lives and he just couldn't forget at all. I have so little recollection that we feel like completely different people."

"No, I understood. That just doesn't make sense," she said. "Doesn't really matter, that's how it went anyway." She shrugged. "All I could ever do was thank my luck that I wasn't like that. He made me notice a lot of ways I was lucky. And a lot of ways I was hurting myself." She 'hugged' him, pressing gently between her hands.

"I wish I could've gotten him to see it, too. Sunny'd been giving me hell for a few months by then, about how I wasn't trying to take care of myself. I didn't get it until I saw him doing the same thing times a thousand. I'd try to say, you can't just, and then describe something I did two days before." She sighed. "He didn't want to. Fuck, did he hate himself. For a stupid mistake, too, and not even really a mistake. Daresay it was a full blown trick. And then he got the memory back after he died and woke up? That's bullshit. What bullshit, whatever did that to him, it was utter bullshit."

"Dunno. I was giving up and hoping that he'd start just so I would leave him alone, or at least stop overheating at him."

Freija groaned dramatically with exasperation and put her arm over her face. "It was the only thing I could do! It pissed me off so much that the only way I could help him was bullying him! And I'm still absolutely certain that there were no other answers!"

◇ He never said this but... I know he was happy you cared so much for him. I think deep down, that part of him that would hurt all the time when other mistreated him was grateful when people cared despite everything.

You definitely aren't thinking about what's best for him if you bring him back, she didn't say. "Because you miss him would be my first guess, why you want to bring him back. You won't even be the first."

◇ It's wrong, right? It's not what he wants but what I do...

"Wanting to isn't wrong, but bringing him back for your own sake when you know it would hurt him is selfish," she said, trying to tell the truth without being cruel about it and having no idea how.

"If you were certain that bringing him back was the only medicine for you, I wouldn't be so harsh," she said. "But you could just be dooming Ellis the Third to die the same way. You will hurt him." She pet the shell and cupped him between her hands. "I understand, though. I would probably try to rez Sunny. She would definitely rez me into pain, she does it already and she just hates herself for it." She shrugged as it he could see it. "And not even to save our own lives. Just because."

◇ Even if it was... would it be fair?

"Nothing is," she said. "Nothing here can be."

And here she expected Tiny Fox. She wanted to answer but Yú seemed to still be listening.

"That... Doesn't surprise me," Freija said dryly. "Good luck, I suppose, to both of you. All of you. I know how fortune has fucked you and him over." She 'hugged' him in her hands as if she could protect him from life and death, a protective hold without getting tight.

"He probably knows and has decided to make the mistake," Freija murmured. She still didn't think she would be better under any circumstances. She wouldn't be smarter or calmer, and her decisions would be just as rash. "It'll be how it is and we can work on it from there."

Eh, I like breaking all bones to be honest, there’s no real preference I have. Well uh… maybe the femur and skull? Also the ribs and vertebrae obviously.

X The spine is quitelame, break it once they don't feel pain in half of the body. Thats like fifty percent less fun for a mediocre set of bones at best.

True, but I moreso use it as a method of killing or incapacitating them in combat, before finishing them off. Inflicting pain isn’t as important as killing the enemy when in the field, after all.

X I keep forgetting that everyone here actually sees killing as a feat of sorts...

Most of the time, it isn’t. I and my Radiant Dawn just do it far better and in a far more efficient way than others. And are far better at inflicting pain when there’s a point in doing so, of course~

X What's the point on killing if not to inflic pain?

It’s part of it, but not all of it. I also do it for my own enjoyment, and because it’s what the enemies of the system deserve.

X The innocence behind your voice is the type of thing that would be enough to make me kill a child.

X Poor thing, thinking they vanguard cares or even thinks of you. I would find it funny, but it actually bores me so much...

X Seems like I struck a nerve... now get out, before that childish way of thinking makes me reconsider shooting you.

Eh, I like breaking all bones to be honest, there’s no real preference I have. Well uh… maybe the femur and skull? Also the ribs and vertebrae obviously.

X The spine is quitelame, break it once they don't feel pain in half of the body. Thats like fifty percent less fun for a mediocre set of bones at best.

True, but I moreso use it as a method of killing or incapacitating them in combat, before finishing them off. Inflicting pain isn’t as important as killing the enemy when in the field, after all.

X I keep forgetting that everyone here actually sees killing as a feat of sorts...

Most of the time, it isn’t. I and my Radiant Dawn just do it far better and in a far more efficient way than others. And are far better at inflicting pain when there’s a point in doing so, of course~

X What's the point on killing if not to inflic pain?

It’s part of it, but not all of it. I also do it for my own enjoyment, and because it’s what the enemies of the system deserve.

X The innocence behind your voice is the type of thing that would be enough to make me kill a child.

X Poor thing, thinking they vanguard cares or even thinks of you. I would find it funny, but it actually bores me so much...

"What's up?" She repeated, easing back toward the Courtyard.

"Well-avenged but not rescued," Freija muttered, a line Sunny gave her right before they were also almost killed by the Hive. She was just too underground to reach. "I'd help break them out if I didn't think I would just end up dead, too. Not enough backup." She frowned at him and wondered if they would stop just because Ellis got back up, and she didn't think so.

"Yeah. Missing someone is exhausting," she said. "I'm glad his memory is being kept. I visit the one here." She offered to hold him when he beeped, holding a hand out palm up near him. "Do you want me to take you to the others?"

Sunny popped open to share Light as she would to help another Ghost resurrect their Guardian as Freija frowned. "Are you sure you want to do that to him?"

Again, Freija didn't want to argue. "Are you sure bringing him back will help?"

◇ I'm not sure if leaving him dead will help...

"Most people don't want to die," Freija said with a small shrug. She still felt guilty about Sarah's death, knowing how early it was, what she'd been doing.... "It happens."

◇ Then... if I have a chance... shouldn't I take it?

"It's not my decision. I know where I stand on it, but it's up to you, ultimately."

"There's a guy named Ghost, my roommate's name is Three, my best friend's name is Rise and her roommate is Two, I'm apparently named after a really old goddess, according to a pandimensional being. I figure he wanted to keep his old one. No one has any room to talk shit about any names anywhere." She laughed aloud. "I thought it was pretty."

"That's sweet," Freija chuckled. "Sometimes I thought it was bad that he remembered his past, but things like that... then again, I would just feel bad about them being dead again." She smiled down at him when he leaned. It felt weird to hold someone that wasn't Sunny, but she didn't mind. She was glad she could do anything for him at all.

"Yeah? Can't imagine, must have been nasty. I forget shit when I've had enough, I guess, stuff will scramble after a few deaths doing the same things. Guess the real death gave him the distance he needed from Pre-Ellis."

◇ Maybe it was his way of feeling safe... he found some sort of comfort being able to remember everything all the time specially since he remembered the time when he could forget stuff.

"Oh? Could he ever? He mentioned early childhood and his parents, I assumed he could always remember like that."

◇ His perfect memory started when he became a guardian. Before that he could forget stuff like anyone, more actually since getting shot in the head actually messed part of his ability to remember... when I first brought him back all those memories he forgot came back, everything came back.

"That doesn't make any sense at all. He couldn't even remember his past life when he was alive? I assumed it was both lives and he just couldn't forget at all. I have so little recollection that we feel like completely different people."

"No, I understood. That just doesn't make sense," she said. "Doesn't really matter, that's how it went anyway." She shrugged. "All I could ever do was thank my luck that I wasn't like that. He made me notice a lot of ways I was lucky. And a lot of ways I was hurting myself." She 'hugged' him, pressing gently between her hands.

"I wish I could've gotten him to see it, too. Sunny'd been giving me hell for a few months by then, about how I wasn't trying to take care of myself. I didn't get it until I saw him doing the same thing times a thousand. I'd try to say, you can't just, and then describe something I did two days before." She sighed. "He didn't want to. Fuck, did he hate himself. For a stupid mistake, too, and not even really a mistake. Daresay it was a full blown trick. And then he got the memory back after he died and woke up? That's bullshit. What bullshit, whatever did that to him, it was utter bullshit."

"Dunno. I was giving up and hoping that he'd start just so I would leave him alone, or at least stop overheating at him."

Freija groaned dramatically with exasperation and put her arm over her face. "It was the only thing I could do! It pissed me off so much that the only way I could help him was bullying him! And I'm still absolutely certain that there were no other answers!"

◇ He never said this but... I know he was happy you cared so much for him. I think deep down, that part of him that would hurt all the time when other mistreated him was grateful when people cared despite everything.

You definitely aren't thinking about what's best for him if you bring him back, she didn't say. "Because you miss him would be my first guess, why you want to bring him back. You won't even be the first."

◇ It's wrong, right? It's not what he wants but what I do...

"Wanting to isn't wrong, but bringing him back for your own sake when you know it would hurt him is selfish," she said, trying to tell the truth without being cruel about it and having no idea how.

"If you were certain that bringing him back was the only medicine for you, I wouldn't be so harsh," she said. "But you could just be dooming Ellis the Third to die the same way. You will hurt him." She pet the shell and cupped him between her hands. "I understand, though. I would probably try to rez Sunny. She would definitely rez me into pain, she does it already and she just hates herself for it." She shrugged as it he could see it. "And not even to save our own lives. Just because."

◇ Even if it was... would it be fair?

"Nothing is," she said. "Nothing here can be."

And here she expected Tiny Fox. She wanted to answer but Yú seemed to still be listening.

"That... Doesn't surprise me," Freija said dryly. "Good luck, I suppose, to both of you. All of you. I know how fortune has fucked you and him over." She 'hugged' him in her hands as if she could protect him from life and death, a protective hold without getting tight.

"What's up?" She repeated, easing back toward the Courtyard.

"Well-avenged but not rescued," Freija muttered, a line Sunny gave her right before they were also almost killed by the Hive. She was just too underground to reach. "I'd help break them out if I didn't think I would just end up dead, too. Not enough backup." She frowned at him and wondered if they would stop just because Ellis got back up, and she didn't think so.

"Yeah. Missing someone is exhausting," she said. "I'm glad his memory is being kept. I visit the one here." She offered to hold him when he beeped, holding a hand out palm up near him. "Do you want me to take you to the others?"

Sunny popped open to share Light as she would to help another Ghost resurrect their Guardian as Freija frowned. "Are you sure you want to do that to him?"

Again, Freija didn't want to argue. "Are you sure bringing him back will help?"

◇ I'm not sure if leaving him dead will help...

"Most people don't want to die," Freija said with a small shrug. She still felt guilty about Sarah's death, knowing how early it was, what she'd been doing.... "It happens."

◇ Then... if I have a chance... shouldn't I take it?

"It's not my decision. I know where I stand on it, but it's up to you, ultimately."

"There's a guy named Ghost, my roommate's name is Three, my best friend's name is Rise and her roommate is Two, I'm apparently named after a really old goddess, according to a pandimensional being. I figure he wanted to keep his old one. No one has any room to talk shit about any names anywhere." She laughed aloud. "I thought it was pretty."

"That's sweet," Freija chuckled. "Sometimes I thought it was bad that he remembered his past, but things like that... then again, I would just feel bad about them being dead again." She smiled down at him when he leaned. It felt weird to hold someone that wasn't Sunny, but she didn't mind. She was glad she could do anything for him at all.

"Yeah? Can't imagine, must have been nasty. I forget shit when I've had enough, I guess, stuff will scramble after a few deaths doing the same things. Guess the real death gave him the distance he needed from Pre-Ellis."

◇ Maybe it was his way of feeling safe... he found some sort of comfort being able to remember everything all the time specially since he remembered the time when he could forget stuff.

"Oh? Could he ever? He mentioned early childhood and his parents, I assumed he could always remember like that."

◇ His perfect memory started when he became a guardian. Before that he could forget stuff like anyone, more actually since getting shot in the head actually messed part of his ability to remember... when I first brought him back all those memories he forgot came back, everything came back.

"That doesn't make any sense at all. He couldn't even remember his past life when he was alive? I assumed it was both lives and he just couldn't forget at all. I have so little recollection that we feel like completely different people."

"No, I understood. That just doesn't make sense," she said. "Doesn't really matter, that's how it went anyway." She shrugged. "All I could ever do was thank my luck that I wasn't like that. He made me notice a lot of ways I was lucky. And a lot of ways I was hurting myself." She 'hugged' him, pressing gently between her hands.

"I wish I could've gotten him to see it, too. Sunny'd been giving me hell for a few months by then, about how I wasn't trying to take care of myself. I didn't get it until I saw him doing the same thing times a thousand. I'd try to say, you can't just, and then describe something I did two days before." She sighed. "He didn't want to. Fuck, did he hate himself. For a stupid mistake, too, and not even really a mistake. Daresay it was a full blown trick. And then he got the memory back after he died and woke up? That's bullshit. What bullshit, whatever did that to him, it was utter bullshit."

"Dunno. I was giving up and hoping that he'd start just so I would leave him alone, or at least stop overheating at him."

Freija groaned dramatically with exasperation and put her arm over her face. "It was the only thing I could do! It pissed me off so much that the only way I could help him was bullying him! And I'm still absolutely certain that there were no other answers!"

◇ He never said this but... I know he was happy you cared so much for him. I think deep down, that part of him that would hurt all the time when other mistreated him was grateful when people cared despite everything.

You definitely aren't thinking about what's best for him if you bring him back, she didn't say. "Because you miss him would be my first guess, why you want to bring him back. You won't even be the first."

◇ It's wrong, right? It's not what he wants but what I do...

"Wanting to isn't wrong, but bringing him back for your own sake when you know it would hurt him is selfish," she said, trying to tell the truth without being cruel about it and having no idea how.

"If you were certain that bringing him back was the only medicine for you, I wouldn't be so harsh," she said. "But you could just be dooming Ellis the Third to die the same way. You will hurt him." She pet the shell and cupped him between her hands. "I understand, though. I would probably try to rez Sunny. She would definitely rez me into pain, she does it already and she just hates herself for it." She shrugged as it he could see it. "And not even to save our own lives. Just because."

◇ Even if it was... would it be fair?

"Nothing is," she said. "Nothing here can be."

And here she expected Tiny Fox. She wanted to answer but Yú seemed to still be listening.

"What's up?" She repeated, easing back toward the Courtyard.

"Well-avenged but not rescued," Freija muttered, a line Sunny gave her right before they were also almost killed by the Hive. She was just too underground to reach. "I'd help break them out if I didn't think I would just end up dead, too. Not enough backup." She frowned at him and wondered if they would stop just because Ellis got back up, and she didn't think so.

"Yeah. Missing someone is exhausting," she said. "I'm glad his memory is being kept. I visit the one here." She offered to hold him when he beeped, holding a hand out palm up near him. "Do you want me to take you to the others?"

Sunny popped open to share Light as she would to help another Ghost resurrect their Guardian as Freija frowned. "Are you sure you want to do that to him?"

Again, Freija didn't want to argue. "Are you sure bringing him back will help?"

◇ I'm not sure if leaving him dead will help...

"Most people don't want to die," Freija said with a small shrug. She still felt guilty about Sarah's death, knowing how early it was, what she'd been doing.... "It happens."

◇ Then... if I have a chance... shouldn't I take it?

"It's not my decision. I know where I stand on it, but it's up to you, ultimately."

"There's a guy named Ghost, my roommate's name is Three, my best friend's name is Rise and her roommate is Two, I'm apparently named after a really old goddess, according to a pandimensional being. I figure he wanted to keep his old one. No one has any room to talk shit about any names anywhere." She laughed aloud. "I thought it was pretty."

"That's sweet," Freija chuckled. "Sometimes I thought it was bad that he remembered his past, but things like that... then again, I would just feel bad about them being dead again." She smiled down at him when he leaned. It felt weird to hold someone that wasn't Sunny, but she didn't mind. She was glad she could do anything for him at all.

"Yeah? Can't imagine, must have been nasty. I forget shit when I've had enough, I guess, stuff will scramble after a few deaths doing the same things. Guess the real death gave him the distance he needed from Pre-Ellis."

◇ Maybe it was his way of feeling safe... he found some sort of comfort being able to remember everything all the time specially since he remembered the time when he could forget stuff.

"Oh? Could he ever? He mentioned early childhood and his parents, I assumed he could always remember like that."

◇ His perfect memory started when he became a guardian. Before that he could forget stuff like anyone, more actually since getting shot in the head actually messed part of his ability to remember... when I first brought him back all those memories he forgot came back, everything came back.

"That doesn't make any sense at all. He couldn't even remember his past life when he was alive? I assumed it was both lives and he just couldn't forget at all. I have so little recollection that we feel like completely different people."

"No, I understood. That just doesn't make sense," she said. "Doesn't really matter, that's how it went anyway." She shrugged. "All I could ever do was thank my luck that I wasn't like that. He made me notice a lot of ways I was lucky. And a lot of ways I was hurting myself." She 'hugged' him, pressing gently between her hands.

"I wish I could've gotten him to see it, too. Sunny'd been giving me hell for a few months by then, about how I wasn't trying to take care of myself. I didn't get it until I saw him doing the same thing times a thousand. I'd try to say, you can't just, and then describe something I did two days before." She sighed. "He didn't want to. Fuck, did he hate himself. For a stupid mistake, too, and not even really a mistake. Daresay it was a full blown trick. And then he got the memory back after he died and woke up? That's bullshit. What bullshit, whatever did that to him, it was utter bullshit."

"Dunno. I was giving up and hoping that he'd start just so I would leave him alone, or at least stop overheating at him."

Freija groaned dramatically with exasperation and put her arm over her face. "It was the only thing I could do! It pissed me off so much that the only way I could help him was bullying him! And I'm still absolutely certain that there were no other answers!"

◇ He never said this but... I know he was happy you cared so much for him. I think deep down, that part of him that would hurt all the time when other mistreated him was grateful when people cared despite everything.

You definitely aren't thinking about what's best for him if you bring him back, she didn't say. "Because you miss him would be my first guess, why you want to bring him back. You won't even be the first."

◇ It's wrong, right? It's not what he wants but what I do...

"Wanting to isn't wrong, but bringing him back for your own sake when you know it would hurt him is selfish," she said, trying to tell the truth without being cruel about it and having no idea how.

"If you were certain that bringing him back was the only medicine for you, I wouldn't be so harsh," she said. "But you could just be dooming Ellis the Third to die the same way. You will hurt him." She pet the shell and cupped him between her hands. "I understand, though. I would probably try to rez Sunny. She would definitely rez me into pain, she does it already and she just hates herself for it." She shrugged as it he could see it. "And not even to save our own lives. Just because."

◇ Even if it was... would it be fair?

"Nothing is," she said. "Nothing here can be."

"What's up?" She repeated, easing back toward the Courtyard.

"Well-avenged but not rescued," Freija muttered, a line Sunny gave her right before they were also almost killed by the Hive. She was just too underground to reach. "I'd help break them out if I didn't think I would just end up dead, too. Not enough backup." She frowned at him and wondered if they would stop just because Ellis got back up, and she didn't think so.

"Yeah. Missing someone is exhausting," she said. "I'm glad his memory is being kept. I visit the one here." She offered to hold him when he beeped, holding a hand out palm up near him. "Do you want me to take you to the others?"

Sunny popped open to share Light as she would to help another Ghost resurrect their Guardian as Freija frowned. "Are you sure you want to do that to him?"

Again, Freija didn't want to argue. "Are you sure bringing him back will help?"

◇ I'm not sure if leaving him dead will help...

"Most people don't want to die," Freija said with a small shrug. She still felt guilty about Sarah's death, knowing how early it was, what she'd been doing.... "It happens."

◇ Then... if I have a chance... shouldn't I take it?

"It's not my decision. I know where I stand on it, but it's up to you, ultimately."

"There's a guy named Ghost, my roommate's name is Three, my best friend's name is Rise and her roommate is Two, I'm apparently named after a really old goddess, according to a pandimensional being. I figure he wanted to keep his old one. No one has any room to talk shit about any names anywhere." She laughed aloud. "I thought it was pretty."

"That's sweet," Freija chuckled. "Sometimes I thought it was bad that he remembered his past, but things like that... then again, I would just feel bad about them being dead again." She smiled down at him when he leaned. It felt weird to hold someone that wasn't Sunny, but she didn't mind. She was glad she could do anything for him at all.

"Yeah? Can't imagine, must have been nasty. I forget shit when I've had enough, I guess, stuff will scramble after a few deaths doing the same things. Guess the real death gave him the distance he needed from Pre-Ellis."

◇ Maybe it was his way of feeling safe... he found some sort of comfort being able to remember everything all the time specially since he remembered the time when he could forget stuff.

"Oh? Could he ever? He mentioned early childhood and his parents, I assumed he could always remember like that."

◇ His perfect memory started when he became a guardian. Before that he could forget stuff like anyone, more actually since getting shot in the head actually messed part of his ability to remember... when I first brought him back all those memories he forgot came back, everything came back.

"That doesn't make any sense at all. He couldn't even remember his past life when he was alive? I assumed it was both lives and he just couldn't forget at all. I have so little recollection that we feel like completely different people."

"No, I understood. That just doesn't make sense," she said. "Doesn't really matter, that's how it went anyway." She shrugged. "All I could ever do was thank my luck that I wasn't like that. He made me notice a lot of ways I was lucky. And a lot of ways I was hurting myself." She 'hugged' him, pressing gently between her hands.

"I wish I could've gotten him to see it, too. Sunny'd been giving me hell for a few months by then, about how I wasn't trying to take care of myself. I didn't get it until I saw him doing the same thing times a thousand. I'd try to say, you can't just, and then describe something I did two days before." She sighed. "He didn't want to. Fuck, did he hate himself. For a stupid mistake, too, and not even really a mistake. Daresay it was a full blown trick. And then he got the memory back after he died and woke up? That's bullshit. What bullshit, whatever did that to him, it was utter bullshit."

"Dunno. I was giving up and hoping that he'd start just so I would leave him alone, or at least stop overheating at him."

Freija groaned dramatically with exasperation and put her arm over her face. "It was the only thing I could do! It pissed me off so much that the only way I could help him was bullying him! And I'm still absolutely certain that there were no other answers!"

◇ He never said this but... I know he was happy you cared so much for him. I think deep down, that part of him that would hurt all the time when other mistreated him was grateful when people cared despite everything.