a dev108 journal

Don’t Want To Watch The World End From Elsewhere

Fear is personal – it often stems from individual experience. So how can one person’s fear be so telling of the state of a collective? I am the eldest child of an Asian, more importantly, Filipino, family. Somehow, being the eldest child has this inherent responsibility in being the caretaker of everyone. It’s culture and it dictates the expectations of families all over the country, no matter where you’re from. So somehow it isn’t a surprise to hear the following words come from my mother: “You should go abroad after graduating.” Oh. Right. I’ll be graduating soon, and there are expectations of me. And thus my fear manifests in having to leave everything here behind.

What’s there to fear in looking for a better life outside of where I am right now, right? But that’s it, why will I leave this place where all the people I love remain vulnerable at the hands of the Philippine government’s incompetence? I don’t want to have to watch the world burn from somewhere I can’t keep my family, more importantly, my siblings, safe. I would at least want to be with them when they would need me the most.

We have continually witnessed how many of our fellow Filipino citizens look and go beyond the Philippines in order to find a place that would offer better lives not only for themselves, but for their families, and even friends, as well. Opportunities for better-paying livelihoods, universal healthcare that is actually universal, transportation that doesn’t break down at least once a week and gives us better commute times, and social safety nets that actually serve as safety nets for the most vulnerable are some of the “treasures” they find after immigrating to places elsewhere. These treasures seem like far-off dreams and fantasies when we think about the state that our country is currently in. Here, we fear of not making enough to feed our family for the day. We fear that our next ride home might not even be a ride but a long walk back. We fear that the next hospital visit will leave us even worse than we already were.

Microinsurance MBA Association of the Philippines Inc.

1014 Medical Plaza Ortigas Bldg. San Miguel Ave. Pasig City Philippines Tel No. 8633-9327 / 8706-2561

September 25, 2020

Greetings!

I am Louise June R. Bautista, a third-year AB Development Studies student from the Ateneo de Manila University. I write this letter with the intent to bring up possible advocacy towards youth from rural areas. Currently, the rate of financial literacy in the Philippines is low as it is, however, most institutions that offer to learn about financial literacy also tend to prescribe solutions that are not necessarily applicable to certain contexts. These contexts are often limited to those who are in urban regions of the country and are part of the middle and upper classes. 

Nowadays, many of the youth are worried about their futures and how there is a lack of financial security due to the changing landscapes in our society. Moreso, not just youth from the city, but even youth in more rural areas. However, there is also a stigma about the youth being financially emancipated from their families at a younger age, as it is a cultural norm in the Philippines that the children must stay under the roof of their parents at least until marriage. Also, with the weakening of many economies due to the ongoing pandemic, many of the youth have been prompted to recognize the relevance of having better money management skills, especially in the preparation for any sort of crisis.

With your goal of assisting microfinance institutions to establish their own microinsurance programs, we believe it’s possible to also provide more knowledge and information to these youth especially in terms of attaining financial security even in this fast-paced world, as well as in destigmatizing the financial emancipation of youth from their families. With the tools for financial management are becoming more accessible through digital platforms, it becomes all the more relevant to push for financial knowledge and the utilization of the tools present. Along with this, it could be possible to create insurance plans that would be friendly and accessible to the youth of rural areas which may help as they go into adulthood.

We believe allowing avenues for youth to be more empowered and confident in their future especially during these times of precariousness and insecurity can create a lasting impact not only on the lives of these youth but even in the future of their families.

I have always written for myself. Rarely would I let others read what I've written, save for jokes, school requirements, tweets, and occasional facebook outbursts that were just thoughts a little too loud to be kept to myself. But most times, they're all kept quiet and safe, as if they were tucked inside an old dusty lockbox under the bed.

I don't consider myself a writer, at least, not anymore. I'm not entirely sure of what happened to the pride and confidence that grade school and junior high school me had, believing that I could write -- even moreso, write for a living. I looked up to journalists and news reporters and all these people risking their lives. I like to think that they're the people who did all these things about writing for social justice and change. I really don't know what happened, and at times, it hurts to think about it, but I'm here now, right? I'm writing what I can, and for now, it'll be enough. But sometimes I wonder if I will ever aspire to be more than what I am now. There's a fine line between satisfaction and gratefulness, and complacency, and boy, do I walk that line.

Admittedly, there is a little sense of pride in the facebook outbursts that would happen every so often. Most times these were about biblical interpretations of current social issues which many a Christian can't seem to get a grip of because their head is a little too wrapped around their own world that they forget that Christ called them to love and sacrifice. It's personal, but who's to say it doesn't reach anyone, right? I want these, albeit rare, to reach the people it needs to reach. Coming from a Christian family, a large part of my network (ha, if you could even call it that) has always been the Church, and most times sometimes it's these people who need to hear these kinds of things the most.  But really, I feel as if this is the most I've ever done. I'm still in the headspace of allowing myself to be where I am right now because it's where I am needed. I don't feel satisfied with what I've been able to do in my little pocket of the world yet, and so this is where I stay. And so I will write what I can. Maybe at times, it won't be enough, but I'm doing what I can. Everyone is doing what they can. This might be seen as me trying to convince myself of this, because some days, it can be complacency, where I feel as if there's nothing else I could do but this. Again. I walk this line very hard, and it's not exactly a good thing.

But like I said... I'm not a writer anymore. It's a touchy subject, really. How do I stitch these words together when I can't even seem to grasp the thoughts in my head? Like I mentioned before, my mind is always cloudy, as if there were some sort of perpetual haze, and it can feel so disempowering at times to be unable to even take hold of these thoughts as my own. They're just there and every time I try to catch them, most would manage to slip away. At this point, I try not to think too far ahead of myself, because even the thoughts that are right in front of me, I feel like I can't reach. To aspire for bigger things would always feel more like fear rather than hope, and so I ask myself "What can I do to keep the hope?" I quote one of my favorite movies to answer myself (the same way that I'd whisper this to myself on any given day): "Rule #32: Enjoy the little things" (Zombieland, 2009). Sometimes, these little things are the ones that are able to reach out to affect the people around us. For now, I'll let the little things suffice.

TW // mention of MDD and ADHD (is that a tw, idk)

I know, I know. This is supposed to be my first journal entry, that’s my bad. I just thought that there could be more to think and talk about after a couple of weeks of class, I guess. 

In all honestly, this is probably the nth platform that I’m journaling in. I somehow manage to find ways to spread my thoughts everywhere, whether it’s on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, OneNote, Discord, word documents, an actual journal, some of my subject notebooks... Yeah, it’s quite a mess, really. But it’s nice, to have ways of leaving pieces of myself no matter where I am. And that way, I’ll also find them on days I feel like looking back. 

It’s funny, really. A lot of times I write without context, so when I look back, I’m often in the dark about whatever I had written about. It might be because I have terrible memory, but who knows, right? But journaling has always been something I cherish. Lately, I’ve been looking back at old journals and notebooks, almost as if I were checking in on younger Eljay. 

God, younger Eljay was... something. A lot of times when I read through what they would write, I wonder how they even made it this far. I’m genuinely grateful that they stuck it out and wrote a lot of the s*** [[I’m so sorry for swearing, but I couldn’t find any other word for it]] they were thinking about. Journaling has definitely helped me make sense of the things I would think about a lot. It takes me a while to process things, and writing it out doesn’t necessarily speed it up, but it definitely helps me figure out some of the things I would normally get stuck on. Or sometimes, it just... helps. Not really sure if there’s a deeper meaning but it just feels like your head’s a little less clouded. With my ADHD, it’s a saving grace, really. Partnered with MDD, a lot of my life feels cloudy and there aren’t a lot of things I remember, and so writing it out helps me with that. When I look back on these journals, there’s always a lot of “oh man, these things happened. right” moments. And suspecting that I’ve had both MDD and ADHD for a while even before I was diagnosed with it last year, I know that it’s something that helped me let everything out when I don’t feel like I can articulate anything well enough, especially in front of people. I’ve always felt like I’ve had a sort of weakness with words, like I don’t ever know the right words to say. When I journal, it helps me think that sometimes I don’t need the right words. I don’t even know enough words, to be honest, haha. But yeah, words can only make as much sense as you want them to, but they help, anyway.

Oh man, here we go again! 

1. I swear, once you legalize same-sex marriage in the Philippines, people will start burning their Bibles and putting up Satanic Churches.

2. Either we allow China to establish military bases on our islands, or they themselves will go to war with us.

3. My friends keep telling me it’s bad to stay up all night but they’re the ones I always see online at 4 in the morning.

4. Most people aren’t really talking about how Australians have constantly mistreated their indigenous people so it shouldn’t really be that big of a deal.

Oh, the wonderful world of Twitter, indeed. As one of the largest social media platforms in the world, it’s bound to get you attention, one way or another, no matter your stature. This goes for One (1) Teodoro Locsin, Jr. too. Having received backlash for many of his previous tweets, it almost isn’t surprising to see another tweet of his blow up with similar backlash.

However, this tweet seems to be a new low for the supposed diplomat. Like man, that’s a foul, to call a major island not part of the country they’re under. You are a diplomat, sir. Admittedly, the standard for a lot of public servants in the Philippines are practically non-existent yet they somehow manage to disappoint their citizens anyway. 

In all honesty, my Twitter is quite meme-y so I just feel like I’d hit it with one of those quote tweets. “Might want to do a quick Google search there, sir. 🥴”

Name that logical fallacy!

1. I swear, once you legalize same-sex marriage in the Philippines, people will start burning their Bibles and putting up Satanic Churches.

2. Either we allow China to establish military bases on our islands, or they themselves will go to war with us.

3. My friends keep telling me it’s bad to stay up all night but they’re the ones I always see online at 4 in the morning.

Generally, there is still much to be nuanced in the definitions of communication for development presented to us. Though the definition of development communication and  communication for development may be considered broad enough to encompass a whole spectrum of communication ideals being used for social change, it is important to remember that it's application is different from the theoretical knowledge we have on it. Thus, both communication for development and development communication should be further studied if we want to have effective and meaningful discourse with the community and the stakeholders involved. Along with this, I believe there should be special emphasis on what the community has to say.

Also, off the bat, it's evident that the articles of Chatterjee and Quebral are the slightest bit outdated. There is a lot of praise for mass media and communication without seeing much of its repercussions, unlike in our era now. Even though the gap between this year and when the materials were written are somewhat small, we see how differently mass media is with how much it has changed. We're starting to see how fake news and troll farms breed in these platforms and so it needs to be further understood as to how these false information and toxic media environments can be a hindrance to development, and most especially communication for development. Both articles also seem to come from a foundation of more neoliberal belief systems, such as how the beginning of development is economic. Grounding development in production of goods and services, and its consumption is definitely something that’s long been disputed and should really be reconsidered when thinking about communication for development.