𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆

I just leave it here...😳

shane: 🙄yes its okay

ilya: …. .. are you sure?

shane: yes! just move

the vision of shane in ilyas head: god daddy ur so big youre gonna tear my asshole youre so fucjing biggg. ive never had anything in my virgin hole before

watching the clock and SWEATING because he doesn't have rozanov's number atp obviously so he can't text "HEY MY MOM IS HERE. CANCEL IT. CANCEL IT ALL. DO NOT COME UP HERE.", but yuna can read that Something is up with shane, so she's even less likely to want to leave him, so she's actually stretching this out LONGER trying to figure out if shane is just really nervous about this new brand or something and honey, did someone say something today? do i need to kill someone?

and shane is pulling out EVERY ounce of deception he has never consciously had to use on his mom before to just get her OUT. he doesn't even have time to fuck around with his outfit because he needs her to GO. in a moment of ABSOLUTE fucking desperation he says he feels sick and retreats to the bathroom and pours some water in the toilet so it sounds like he's puking, but he WAY overshot this one because now no WAY is she leaving.

which means ilya still knocks on the door.

and it's YUNA who answers.

ilya's whole body takes a screenshot.

and shane in the bathroom atp heard the door open, so he almost hits himself in the face with the bathroom door trying to get out and do...

what, exactly?

so they're now in this WILD three way standoff, and yuna is being polite about it but is clearly 'what the FUCK are you doing here?' and shane genuinely for a moment thinks his mom is about to find out that he was not only about to have sex, but he was about to have GAY SEX.

nope.

"sorry, i forgot i asked if he wanted to come up later and watch the game"

"what game is on tonight?"

*shane aol dial-up noises*

ilya jumping in because oops guess this is a group project now, taking a WILD swing in the dark based on something that was on a tv in a bar he snuck into a couple of weeks ago: "uh, cars. car racing."

"you two are going to watch...nascar?"

ilya, has never heard the word nascar in his life: "yes. sounds very interesting. i love...nascars."

yuna ends up leaving the room so they can...watch?? nascar???....but also shane has never been less turned on in his fucking LIFE.

they actually do end up talking because now shane is paranoid his mom is going to be in the hall watching and waiting to catch him in a lie, and the more nervous he gets about it, the more lowkey ilya is worrying about it, too, so they do actually end up spending a chunk of time together.

but now shane is trapped in pretending to like nascar because his mom asked how watching it with rozanov was, and he's like, "...really fun! yeah, it was exciting. they, um, they go really fast."

now shane who doesn't give a FUCK about cars beyond Thing That Takes Me Places is stuck in summer watching fucking nascar with his mom. and david clocks that shane isn't into it, but he figures that maybe yuna? has found an interest in it after the topic came up? so shane is bonding with her over that? aw, how sweet.

yuna teasing him about danica patrick being too old for him so don't get any ideas, and shane is just How Did This Happen To Me.

poor guy just wanted to explore gay sex and now he's doing a photo op in jimmie johnson's car???

but have we considered. ilya tells him he needs a trim, and no, they don’t need to go to a stylist, ilya will do it himself. getting him set up kneeling on the floor, no mirror in sight. ilya tells him to close his eyes and that’s the first sign, but shane doesn’t need to think about it before he’s obeying.

there’s rustling as ilya gets out the scissors, and then a buzzing sound that makes shane jump. ilya pulls his hair lightly and tells him to settle down. and then he’s using the clippers to buzz off his hair. shane liked his long hair, not just because it was ilya’s choice, because it suited him, and as ilya keeps running the clippers over his scalp and shane feels the hair falling away, he can’t help crying.