Killer Personality ;

Or maybe you should introduce yourself before replying to a stranger.

Why would I be the first to introduce myself, when you could so gracefully do it. 

I would offer you my coffee but—.. There is honestly no reason. It’s my coffee, so. And I’d offer you spare change but—… No reason either. Huh. I can however tell you that we have a great therapist in this town that could assist you with your problem.

I don’t need your coffee -- quite frankly, I wouldn’t accept it anyways, because I’m not to keen on drinking other people’s drinks. I don’t get where you think I need to go see a therapist, I need something to keep me going through the day. 

You know there’s this place—.. I forget which road it is. But it’s some French name and they serve really good coffee. And mate, I don’t know who One Dalmation is but I think the word you’re looking for is One Direction. You may want to learn that before you have a hoard of angry fan girls after you.

I have been there before -- it’s really hard not to be there, it still doesn’t change that I have no change and it’s I think a good walk out of my way onto work. Are you one of those fangirls? I don’t think I’m going to get attacked, honestly, I think I’ll be perfectly fine around here. 

Oh, hey! So… uh… I’m back.

You should probably introduce yourself, before you just say that you’re back.