Facts About Elves

Some folk assume Elves and Orcs have a contentious relationship. This is untrue, Elves and Orcs have a bond that runs so vastly deep it is simply incomprehensible to the outside observer.

Termites are a kind of Elven subspecies.

The Elven version of "Hell" is remarkably similar to a normal human golf course.

Elven fletchers can make arrows that will play a nice little tune while they fly through the air toward their targets.

Elf master carpenters are known to make such exquisitely crafted rocking chairs that a single rock back and forth in one can heal years, even decades, of emotional trauma.

Elves are allergic to Tuesdays.

No elf has ever lost a skiing competition.

Elves can change the weather if a group of them sings about it very somberly and seriously for a little while.

Elves come in all shapes and sizes and colors and textures and difficulty ratings and voltages and hardiness zones and viscosities and acidity levels.

As part of the treaties signed at the end of the 2nd Great Troll War, Elves are now forbidden from eating coffee cake after 11:00 am.