bandersnatch blog.

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My co-producer leaves next week, with no one slated to fill in anytime soon. It’s hitting me hard because she’s talented, compassionate, and encouraging. Not enough hyperbole in saying her confidence in me has been eye-opening. She’s established, essential to everything, and still, not considered worth keeping around by our employer. 

These industries fucking hate us. Yes, we make cool shit with cool people. But for what? We’ll get perks out the ass, but no benefits. PR packages and lunches, but no full-time contracts. Blue checks, but no unions. I’ve started disliking how saying what I do makes people look at me different. Pepper me questions in line at the club, over drinks, in fucking bed. My career is more impressive to them than my intrinsic value, somehow makes me more important than I used to be when I was just a provider. My name gets invoked all wrong. It boils my blood. I could get pink-slipped on Monday and need to turn back to slinking from sketchy outcall-to-outcall just to make rent again. What happens then. Where are you then.

People send me emails asking me for advice and mentorship. I only give the former. I wish I could grab their heads with both of my hands, eye bugging, and go full Colin. Say, “Listen. Listen to me. This is hell. There is no such thing as putting in your dues. The choices you make don’t matter. You can do great work and create masterpieces and you’ll still lose. You will burn out. You won’t recover. You’ll always lose.” 

Stefan comes from a wrestling family. Dad is Sugar Puff, a B-grade  unassuming babyface; his wife was Frosty, a diva who was written off the main circuits following a botched highspot at an away match broke her legs. (Deep down, Stefan resents his father for not taking her place.) Stefan’s mum retired and became a championship trainer; brought up her son in the craft, practicing flips and body slams at the community pool. 

Stefan enters the big leagues as the lightweight babyface dubbed White Rabbit. His earnest “dream to win the belt for mum’s honour” shtick is very endearing, but for some reason the audiences go wild when he goes berserk in his matches. He gets a big push for a heelturn by the Tucker promoters because of internet reactions to his ring freakouts, much to his dismay. Gets good at working shoot, pretending to go off-script and acting horribly. Is terrified of every match against “the Doctor,” a suited woman with a vicious pile drive and penchant for nunchuks. 

Tweener Colin--just goes by The Colin Ritman--pisses off promoters because he keeps breaking kayfabe in promos, pointing out how fake an opponent’s move is or bringing up their IRL personas; never gets fired because of his excellent A-Shows. Specializes in running multiple storylines, so whenever he’s teamed with Stefan their angle usually becomes extremely meta and interactive: Colin works the crowd, asking them if they really want to make Stefan hit his own father with a chair. “You do know they live together, right?" In their tag teams, known for commenting on Stefan’s wrong choices. 

Kitty’s the costumer who everyone adores. Plays Colin’s wife in promos, depending on the storyline. Colin would often be MIA for his gorilla positioning, creating a running gag where she would run around behind-the-scenes, screaming, “Where’s Colin?” wildly.

The first major fork is Stefan’s acceptance of the job. It’s a YES and a NO, but the NO is really a YES, BUT.

It is excruciating how the latter didn’t negotiate for more buts. Stefan, like many naive young programmers, fell into the trap of believing that breaking into game development means giving up all control to your employer. If he sets a deadline, you meet it. Doesn’t matter when. Sinclair Research, producer of the ZX Spectrum, was absolutely notorious for setting impossible publicized deadlines. It was meant to curb procrastination, but it really just burnt out a lot of employees and enforced a work-until-you-die mentality that’s still so pervasive today.

I think analyzing Colin from a workers-first perspective is important; he’s irreverent with Thakur, prone to taking breaks. It’s written as a “he gets fucked up, he’s a free spirit,” but I really do think it shows how Colin is wary of the industry. He goes on self-directed breaks because he knows he won’t ever get a proportionate one to his workload. He doesn’t buy a Lamborghini because he knows how precarious the game bubble is. I think it’s worth interpreting the acid scene through this too; warnings about PAC-Man living in a nightmare could be analogous to programmers like themselves scurrying in the maze trap that is the game industry. The demons are mental constructs, the kind that enforce acclaim and happiness as achievable only on corporate terms.  

On the other hand, Stefan is inexperienced enough to give himself up entirely to the system. We see him stress over his own perceived inability to code efficiently, rather than ever question if his boss had set problematic work expectations. Working remotely shouldn’t mean working without guidance. 

Stefan in bed: okay, technically not tech, but the Deus Ex Machina poster hanging above him? Total chef kiss at that placement.

Stefan on bus: looks like original Sony Walkman 1979. Didn’t see a logo on the headphones, probably Sony MDR 5A; maybe 1982 Koss headphones?

When we meet Colin: ZX Spectrum, TRS-80; Rotel RH-711 headphones; should be a Sinclair joystick on top of the monitor, but the red trigger placement looks more like a Quickshot.  

Showing of Bandersnatch: Competition Pro joystick.

Soft resets: Okay, I know the “it’s Colin’s setup” has been pointed out before and these are technically monitors, but this one is VERY interesting. We see a Sony on the left, a Commodore 1702 on the right. “I don’t own a Commodore.” And yet, we’re in Stefan’s room? Not sure if it was choice order in mine, but I thought it was neat how all the breakdown choices (spilling, smashing) showed up on Commodore.

The stressed Sept 12 meeting: JFD Doc. is taped on a Matsoki L-250 VHS. Looks kinda like a Poloroid logo knockoff.

Colin’s living room: ashamed to say, I don’t know what brands either of the two computers are. Might do a search tomorrow.

Also oh my god, DOES HE OWN TWO MINIMOOGS???? HOW DID I MISS THAT. 

Adult Pearl: The site she mentions for emulation is RetroArch. Interestingly, her OS is Leo Technology. (The Pearl ending is the only one with different soft reset monitors, Sony on left, Radio Shack on right...ashtray stacked on two commodores on far left...)

Post-ashtray call: I don’t have any brand for the phone, just thought it was fun how controller-shaped it was.

I’ve been really enjoying this week-long hobby so far of writing a bit of Colfan every day. Becoming clear there are some areas needed to improve on; posting for self-accountability.

Defaulting into writing one-two pagers. Need to treat these as less assigned on deadline, more creative expression. 

Bad at scene-building. Characterization needs to go deeper. 

We went into this with the intention of interactivity and branching narratives. If Twine and CYOA format already done, will need to look at others. (Maybe T*xt*r* if J doesn’t find out haha.) 

Summary: A Discord prompt for a double date, Stefan + Colin and Kitty + girlfriend.

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It starts off as a drug deal. Colin’s low on tabs, Haigha needs spiro. They discover each other’s deprivations over gin and a shared joint at Vauxhall.

Colin was used to Vauxhall and its cramped smells far later at night, when thumping music would course through his body like an electric current, charging into whoever was writhing against him. It would be nice to take Stefan here, he thought, picturing the pink flashing lights painting starshine on Stefan’s sweaty grinning face, the boy high off his mind and falling onto him, hungry eyes watching his body cling to Colin’s like a raft. Fun to watch, he’d be. It would probably take some convincing: maybe leaning against the balcony rails for a while, babysitting a rum and coke with Stefan’s head tucked under his chin.

Colin and Kitty amalgamate for Hatter persona. Been scratching my head over Pearl and if she configures/the family structure is a Hatter stand. Possible references: Alice in Wonderland (1983) has an episode about the “Pearl of Wisdom,” a family heirloom of the queen of hearts. Maybe she’s a nod to the Curious Oysters in Disney’s Alice In Wonderland, a group of baby oysters who stray from their mother (who held a pearl) and meet an unfortunate end. My best bet: Pearl is named after “string of pearls,” a storytelling method in game development. Players are given the ability to choose in these games, but the storyline remains linear. The string symbolizes the period of time in the game that is predetermined by the developer. The pearl is the time spent free to make their own decisions. Interestingly, this is how Jesse Schell describes the method in The Art of Game Design: “Many people criticize this method as “not really being interactive,” but players sure do enjoy it.”

The Commodore really does have a better sound chip (SiD produced less waveforms than the NES chip, but more nuanced/varied voice, an overall excellent synthesizer), but that was a weird thing for Colin to point out about the system overall when so much of it surpassed the ZX Spectrum. I haven’t played any Commodore games IRL, on emulators, so I wonder about gameplay’s tactile experience. 

Wanted to start a fan blog because I keep turning over this glorified FMV in my head.