dark but full of diamonds

With no conditions, either. She even said as much, saying he didn’t have to tell her what happened if he didn’t want to. But this was Eileen. Even if she was pissed off at him for confronting Aaron, she wouldn’t be mad at him forever. “I know,” Max told her. “I’m gonna tell you but… don’t be mad.” Had ever asking anyone not to be mad ever make them not be mad?

“Max, you’re starting to scare me,” Eileen said in earnest. “Of course I’m not going to be mad.” She took a swig from her own beer as she continued to ice his bruises. The suspense of not knowing what happened to her friend was unnerving. Eileen couldn’t handle it. She needed to know so she could fix it. She wanted to make it all better. “C’mon the anticipation is killing me.”

So when Eileen said they could just go back to her place and order in, he was definitely going to jump on that. “Let’s ditch them and order burritos,” he suggested whispering loudly even though Trish and Stacy were way ahead of him. He kind of felt like this sounded like the best idea he’d ever had in his life. “I don’t even fucking like Stacey. (He was pretty sure Eileen didn’t either.)

Eileen burst out laughing at Max’s remark about Stacey. The woman was vapid, vain, selfish and shallow, always looking out for herself without much regard for others. She was fun at parties and her mother was a colleague of her father; it was a relationship of convenience more than anything else. “God, she’s such a bitch,” she said, smile on her face as she ordered an Uber on her phone. “I can only handle her in small doses.”

The Uber came quickly and soon enough the two were back at Eileen’s apartment, sitting on the couch scrolling through menus online. Eileen tossed her phone Max’s way as she sunk into her cushions, cuddling a blanket as the alcohol in her system tuckered her out. “Surprise me,” she said, in regards to her burrito order. “Put it on my card.”

“He’s not much of a dancer right now,” she replied, throwing Eileen a knowing look. All they’d been doing was drinking and fucking, which, while fun, wasn’t exactly what she’d call a progress. But having played this game for as long as she had, Elsie wasn’t about to get impatient now. And neither was she gonna turn down a good ranting opportunity if one presented itself like that. From one Solano girl to another. “Have you ever tried fucking the sad out of a man?” She asked, looking at the other. “Or did you break up before his old man got locked up?” 

“Have you ever tried fucking the sad out of a man?”

When Aaron’s uncle passed, Eileen could see the cracks in the family grow. His father’s arrest just pushed him over the edge. She tried to comfort him, give him what he needed, but what he needed was his father back and that was something Eileen couldn’t provide. No amount of sex would change that. “Sex is great but it can’t mend a broken heart,” she said. “No matter how good it might be.”

Lila found alcohol worked best in tricky situations like this. Her slender fingers found a crystal shot glass and handed it over. “Don’t know whose brilliant idea it was to get tequila without lime or salt, barbaric.” It must’ve been left in her limo at some point during one of those blurry nights Lila adored because they robbed her mind of all worries, if only for a night. However, she had a feeling the younger woman didn’t care much for finesse at the moment. “How long exactly? No one’s bothered you?” With a raised brow, Lila inquired once more, for a good measure. Something a certain member of her extended family would appreciate. Per aspera ad astra, the famous Latin saying applied to young people building a career in LA. The Solano had witnessed some of her closest friends tripping and falling on their road to fame, and some never got up again. “Honestly? Been thinking about skipping town, go to Aspen. Or Norway. I miss snow.” Lila admitted, putting on a charming smile before looking over at Eileen with a more sober expression. “Is any of us okay?” If it were so– if Aaron were okay, he wouldn’t have left you. However, this time Lila refrained from mentioning her cousin, pressing a pause on the topic until they were in the safety of her penthouse. Something about being so high above the ground and having with a magnificent view soothed Lillian. “We’re here.”

The ride to Lillian’s was filled with chit-chat and drinks, allowing Eileen to loosen up a bit before they arrived. Her building was beautiful, not that Eileen was surprised. Lillian had taste and the money necessary for such accommodations. Her penthouse apartment was decorated exceptionally well, but it was the view of the city-skyline and ocean that really set the place apart. Compared to her place, it was a dream come true. Eileen rented a decent apartment downtown that used to have a pretty view; however, recent construction totally ruined any sort of vista she had. Eileen definitely needed to move. 

She pulled him inside, and he winced at the sharp movement, hoping she didn’t notice. She instructed him to sit, and Max didn’t need to be told twice, collapsing on his back onto the couch. “I’m a dumb fuck, that’s what happened,” he groaned, adjusting his position on the couch, eyeing the beer she was grabbing. Yeah, he wanted that. 

He had no plans whatsoever to defend Aaron; the guy was a piece of shit for breaking up with Eileen in the first place. Yeah, maybe Max had been a complete dick to him, but the ass beating had been a little much. So, no, he wouldn’t lie to Eileen and say he was mugged or something. She’d know exactly who’d done this, but Max would also take responsibility for his own part in it. He wanted Eileen to be happy, didn’t want to make this thing with Aaron worse. But she deserved the truth, didn’t she? 

“I’ve known you were a dumb fuck since the day we met,” Eileen joked, smiling softly as she knelt down next to the couch. “That doesn’t answer my question.” She gave him the beer as she started to gently place the ice on the bruising on his face. Her fingers pushed his hair to the side, so she could get a good look at the damage. It made her stomach turn. Max wasn’t the fighting type, not really, so seeing him so beat up was shocking to her system. All she wanted was to make him feel better, for him to know that everything would be okay. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Eileen ultimately decided. If Max preferred keeping the details to himself, for whatever reason, Eileen wouldn’t press him. Just support him. “I’ll take care of you no matter what. You know that, right?”

Aaron’s doorman looked at her with confusion, considering she hadn’t been around in months. “Is he up there?” Eileen asked the man, her voice shaking with anger. He just nodded and before he could say anything else, Eileen was on the elevator.

Reaching his apartment, she pounded her fist on the door and shouted, “open the fucking door, Aaron!”

@aaronsolano​

“Same,” she replied, following the girl’s gaze to the club behind them. “The cuties, not the friends bit. I prefer to come to these things alone. I’m here to let loose, not to keep anyone from making stupid decisions, you know?” With a shrug, she brought the cigarette to her lips again, convinced it was a sign of independence not.. well, a lack of decent friend group, for one. “Besides, I never leave alone. Not unless I want to.” Though lately, with her keeping her bed empty for Adrian Solano, leaving alone was becoming a rule rather than an exception. 

Elsie’s confidence radiated off of her; she exuded power and independence, clearly sure of herself and how to achieve her goals. It was a quality Eileen envied. While she hid her insecurities well, Eileen knows how desperate she was on the inside. Elsie, on the other hand, just seemed solid, through and through. 

“Don’t you have Adrian Solano on speed dial?” Eileen asked, the affair not exactly a well kept secret, considering she read about it online. “Seems like he’d be better company than someone you find at a club. Not that I’m judging. I just couldn’t put in the extra effort.” 

Luckily for him, he’d at least gotten in one good hit. Maybe two. He didn’t feel too bad for himself, considering Aaron was a boxer. It would have been really embarrassing for Aaron if Max had put up a decent fight. Aaron would likely need to consider a new career.

Max hadn’t gotten a great look at himself, just the selfie camera on his phone. One of his eyes was definitely about to be swollen shut, and the other didn’t look much better. He had a few cuts on his face, and he was sure his abdomen would have some bruises also. He also felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him, which he basically had.

The concerned Lyft driver had wanted to take him to the hospital. Max had very nicely said he was fine, even though he thought he might puke, and fortunately, the guy didn’t ask him any more questions. He just brought him to Eileen’s place like Max was fucking paying him to. When he got there, it was the doorman’s turn to ask if he should be going to a doctor, and Max just wanted everyone to leave him the fuck alone because he wanted to lie down. A little ice and he’d be fine. Since the doorman knew him well, knew he was Eileen’s friend, he didn’t say much more and let him right up.

When Max got to the door, he leaned on the doorframe, finding it hard to stand with all the effort it had taken him to get here in the first place. Good thing this wasn’t New York and her building had an elevator. He leaned his forehead against his arm, his face hidden from view when Eileen opened the door. “I did something stupid,” he whined, his voice muffled.

Eileen spent the day writing. The wounds Aaron’s words left still stung raw. She wanted to do something productive with the pain and heartache. She sat starring at her screenplay for hours, constantly referencing back to the original play and the research she’s done. Though, not matter how hard she tweaked her words, nothing seemed to feel real enough. Genuine.

Her agent’s phone call interrupted Eileen before she could pull her hair out in frustration. He had good news, new auditions, call backs and scripts on the way from producers. More busy work until she got another job. If Eileen didn’t get paid, her agent wasn’t getting paid. He wanted her to sign a contract, fast. 

She put her agent on speaker as he droned on about a potential brand deal and opened up her fridge to grab a beer. Eileen hopped up on her counter, took a hit off her vape. She listened to the offer, not really interested, but said she’d read over the contract to appease him. During that time, she got a message from her doorman, letting her know Max was on his way up.

She wasn’t expecting him, but it wasn’t strange that he was stopping by unannounced. As far as Eileen was concerned, her place was his place. Max could come over anytime. She opened the door, confused at the sight before her.

Max covered his face with his arm and his voice was strained as he spoke. Eileen looked at him with concern and gently lowered his arm. “Oh, my god...” His face was a mess, like something out of a Picasso sketchbook. “What the fuck happened, Max?” she asked as she pulled him inside. Though, Eileen had her theories and none of them were good.

Eileen shut the door and immediately went to the kitchen. “Sit down,” she instructed, grabbing ice and another beer before she made her way back to her wounded friend.

“Let’s go then,” Eileen said, a smile on her face as she linked her arm with Max’s as they walked off the dancefloor. The streets of LA were filled with various late night food options, from greasy burgers and pizza, to tacos from food trucks and even vegan poutine to fill whatever craving one might have. Trish and Stacey didn’t bother waiting for the other two before speeding down the block to the local In-N-Out. Not in any rush, Eileen didn’t follow after them in a hurry, rather enjoyed the night air as she deliberated her options. She was drunk by this point, hardly walking straight in her heels. If she didn’t have Max to hold on to, she’d probably end up falling over at some point.

“Craving anything in particular?” she asked, looking at her best friend. “I’m up for anything, really. Could even just go back to my place and order in, if ya want?”

He couldn’t relate with the girl. Roman tried to spend as little time as possible around people who were committed to having bad moods and not seeking improvement. It was toxic. He didn’t answer her for a long moment before he finally did speak, the pep in his voice replaced with a bland sense of boredom. “And if the world wanted another girl with a blessed life who was parading around like it was anything less, then I suppose you wouldn’t be so lonely. I suspect your father was the type of man to lecture you - expecting more from you because he thought you had greatness under your ribs and maybe a lioness’s heart. I would guess it broke him when he realized that instead of a lioness he raised…” Roman gestured to her. “This. He had no one to blame but himself, though. Just as you have no one to blame but yourself for your situation. It’s fine if you wish to wallow, but do not be surprised when the rest of world moves on.”

Eileen barely listened to the words the stranger spoke. She stood and rolled her eyes. This man knew nothing about her, her father or her situation. He had no right to pretend he was somehow holier-than-thou. “Dude, you need to take a hint,” she said, picking up her shoes, buried in the sand. “That or learn what fucking boundaries are.” Eileen didn’t take criticism well; even on set if a director had words, it was hard for her not to take it personally. In those cases, she had to take it, but when a stranger was judging her on the beach, she had the power to just up and leave. “Have a nice fucking night,” she said sourly, crossing her arms over her chest. She started walking back to the club, needing more liquor after that brief encounter.

Aaron’s mind couldn’t register anything else that she’d said. That statement was painfully true, and it hurt, putting Aaron in the defensive. 

“Yeah, well it wasn’t so easy for me, either,” Aaron snapped, flicking his cigarette onto the ground, crushing it with the heel of his shoe. “You were a fucking headache half the time. So fuckin’ self obsessed and no better than the friends you hang around with.”

Aaron couldn’t stop himself now. He was hurt, so he had to hurt Eileen in return. She’d never be able to understand the storm of emotions inside of him, so why bother even letting her in? She lived in a different reality than he did. 

“You coulda walked away any fucking time, babe, but you stayed. No one fucking made you. Grow the fuck up, Eileen.”

Eileen wasn’t stupid. She knew Aaron was going through a hard time and had been for a while. First he lost his uncle and then his dad went to prison. He lost so much in such a short amount of time. At the time, all Eileen wanted to do was be there for him. She loved him. Would’ve done anything for him. His words now negated all of that. Spite and anger coated each syllable. Aaron wanted to push her away and it was working.

She didn’t want to cry, but that didn’t stop the tears threating her eyes. Eileen shook her head. “I'm not going to listen to this,” she said. She also wasn’t about to walk in that bar. Fuck her friends. This was a bad idea from the start. 

Eileen started walking, shoulder shoving Aaron’s as she passed. She stopped, needing to get one last thing clear. “I just wanted you to let me in. Guess it was too much to ask.” After that, she kept going. She needed to get as far away from Aaron as possible and there was only one place she wanted to be. 

Eileen pulled out her phone and called the one person who never let her down. Max.

“Hey,” she said, when he picked up the phone. “Can I come over?”

Eileen climbed into the car, quite used to being chauffeured around in the back of a fancy vehicle stocked up with the best booze money could buy. “I’d love something to drink,” she replied to Lillian’s offer, but she’d need something stronger than water if she were going to be spending the evening with a Solano. Tequila was her typical drink of choice and would certainly loosen her up. Eileen didn’t intend on getting absolutely shitfaced, but a little liquid courage would go a long way. “Tequila?” she asked. “It has been a long day,” she added with a laugh. “How’ve you been lately?” Eileen continued, not wanting their entire conversation to focus on herself. Besides, Lila had a lot on her plate, Eileen was sure, considering everything going on with the family.  

“You’re probably right,” Eileen laughed, Max’s comment truer than he probably realized. Since they were kids, she leaned on Max for support. Especially since Aaron left that hole in her heart, Max’s care kept her alive. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted their other friends trying to get their attention with hand signals. They mimed eating and motioned to the door, probably on their way to get drunk food to wrap up the evening. “What do ya say?” she asked Max. “Down for a late night snack? Trish and Stacey look like they’re about ready to go.”

“Maybe they should focus on fixing their own shit before they try getting involved in yours,” he suggested. It wasn’t very likely. He knew how her friends could be, and it amazed Aaron how she could tolerate them so easily. For a moment, Aaron was quiet. Truthfully, he didn’t have much to say to Eileen. It was better that way – to keep things short. The more that he spoke to her, the more likely it became that he’d admit something that he couldn’t even admit to himself.

He missed her. And he missed his dad, and he was all torn up about it. But those emotions didn’t translate well for someone like Aaron Solano; they emerged as anger instead. Bloody knuckles and drunken blackouts – that’s how Aaron lived nowadays.

And even in that moment, thinking about everything, being near Eileen – Aaron couldn’t help himself. He had to shut things down – ruin the peace somehow.

“Some of your shit’s still at my place… and I need the space.” Obviously a lie, and a pretty shitty thing to say, considering she’d only left a few articles of clothing, and maybe a bottle of perfume that Aaron liked. “I can have Clara send it over. Or you can pick it up.”

“Maybe they should focus on fixing their own shit before they try getting involved in yours.”

Aaron was probably right about the sentiment but he was being an ass on purpose. He kept pushing her away, leaving her with nothing. It was like he got a kick out of watching her squirm. Eileen couldn’t even get a word in before Aaron spoke up again. Talking about her things taking up space at his apartment. 

She looked at him then, daggers in her eyes. He pushed the right button with that one. A nail in the coffin of their relationship, still without giving her a reason. “Fucking burn it for all I care,” Eileen said, flicking the cigarette to the ground and snuffing it out with the sole of her shoe. “And go fuck yourself while you’re at it.”

Eileen should’ve left, turned around, gone inside the bar to her friends and get roaring drunk but her feet were firmly planted like her body wanted to fight. “I deserve better than what you put me through,” she said, her mouth moving without her brain’s permission. Her heart was in control now.