* YOU'VE BEEN SPOILED !

HEADCANON ;  POST - PREGNANCY.

          this is something i haven’t explored much in my writing,  but stephanie giving her child up for adoption is something that haunts her a lot.  while she knows that it’s the best choice for her    (  since she’s still in high school when she got pregnant and her mom’s barely making ends meet,  taking care of a child would be really hard and she doesn’t want her child to suffer because of circumstances like that  )    she still thinks about her child every day and what if she had raised that child like she imagined what raising children would be like.  she’d given the child up for adoption without even knowing if the baby was a girl or a boy,  and it tore her to pieces knowing that she’d given life to something so pure and she’d never gotten the chance to see them.  the baby had been gone before she even knew it.

          giving the child up for adoption doesn’t mean that stephanie hasn’t thought of a future with the child.  even through the early stages of her pregnancy she’s already thinking of a sweet little baby girl with a bright smile,  and she thinks of that baby often from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to sleep.  she dreams of the baby,  even.  it was maternal love,  and to her,  it felt amazing.  she absolutely loved the feeling of caring for a child,  even though she knows that she has to face the bitter reality soon,  that she’ll eventually give her baby up as soon as they were born.

          even after the pregnancy,  she still feels a strong urge to look for her baby.  she thinks of asking tim for help on finding her baby,  or even bruce  --  she just wants to be able to see her baby grow up,  even if she’s not in the baby’s life completely as a mother.  she’ll be perfectly content with sitting in the sidelines,  watching her child grow up just like she imagined.  it keeps her awake at night,  thinking of what could have been if she had kept the baby and raised it by herself with or without tim or her mom by her side.

          she feels guilty for not being ready to take care of a child yet.  guilty that she brought a life into this world only to let someone else take care of the baby because she wasn’t ready mentally and financially to raise a child on her own.  she feels irresponsible and ashamed that she couldn’t even take care of someone she’d carried for nine months and thought of every single day.  she feels the gaping hole inside her chest,  the longing and yearning to have her little girl in her arms,  rocking the baby to sleep and watching the baby grow up right in front of her eyes. 

         HIS EARS HUNG ON THE WORDS, leaving him speechless for a moment. he trusted stephanie. jason could only say that about a handful of people but it was the truth. there were no looks of ‘what went wrong’ when she saw him like he’d seen in everyone else who knew him when he was robin. her only meeting him after his resurrection meant that she wasn’t obligated to try and deal with him. 

            stephanie chose that. she CHOSE to be friends with him at the start, she was choosing him now. the line between friends and something more had been blurred for a while - both of them denying until they couldn’t. the detective habits instilled in him called for picking apart her words, looking for signs of deception. all jason saw was sincerity and god, that smile. he pressed a kiss to her temple and lingered there for a moment. “ i choose you too, steph. ”

HE  MAY  HAVE  BEEN  SOMEONE  ENTIRELY  DIFFERENT    before what happened,  but stephanie had never stopped once to think about what he could have been if the joker didn’t get to him.  he’s absolutely perfect the way he is now,  even with all his flaws and his broken pieces that she has managed to love as a whole.  to stephanie brown,  there is absolutely no sliver of doubt inside her head the moment she realized she wanted him.

          it is a leap of faith to make her feelings known to him,  to actually say things out loud instead of pulling out hints every now and then.  saying it is a little bit harder than the small brush of her hand against his,  the way she lingers a little bit longer whenever they are in a tight embrace,  or the slight hum of agreement whenever people ask her whether or not she likes jason.  there’s a faint blush on her cheeks as she smiles up at him,  her heart beating heavily and her stomach fluttering.      “   you better,   “      she says,  wrapping her arms around him.

                ❝ ang loko ka ! how the heck                    are we gon'na  sneak into ma -                    dison square garden, steph ? ❞

it’s not that mary jane is a goody - two -  shoes – she lives for thrills. whether it be on stage or off, mj is an adrenaline junkie and an attention seeker to her very core. and when fun is involved  ? she’s all in ! 

        but – besides drinking underage,         she’s never done anything com -         pletely ILLEGAL.

then again … 

                 ❝ FINE – if you have a plan for                     this, gagawin ko. ❞

she’s so going to regret this. 

A  GRIN  IS  PLACED  PERFECTLY  ON  HER  FACE   that so very obviously hints at rule breaking.  stephanie is a hundred percent certain that she’ll get in trouble for this when she gets home.  a week of grounding is probably the least bit of punishment that could be given to her.  if she tries to put it to extremes,  it might go for a month of never being allowed to step foot outside the house.  but the thought of sneaking into a concert with mj is much more appealing than having her right to go out of the house for a month.  the thrill would be  WORTH IT  anyway.

          the grin on her face grows wider when her best friend finally agrees,  although it seems reluctant and a little bit halfhearted.  stephanie won’t let her down,  though.  plus,  she has been planning this for weeks,  there is absolutely no way that this would fail.   there’s a triumphant look on her face as she pulls out her phone,  punching a few keys from the keyboard before stuffing it back in her pocket.      “   this will go absolutely  SEAMLESS.  i know a guy,  who knows a guy,  and he’ll get us in madison square garden without anyone even seeing.   “

        He rolls his eyes at the other’s comment. ❛ I don’t think she simply has a crush on me. ❜ And even if it’s just that, he doesn’t like that at all. He doesn’t want to get involved with anyone who seems to be a problem, like her. He stands up, leaving some notes on the table. ❛ We’re going to go somewhere else, because she’s really bothering me. And if she follows us … I’ll freak out. ❜

STEPHANIE  COULD  ONLY  SHRUG  AT  HIS  SUGGESTION.   it doesn’t really matter anyway if they talk there,  or somewhere else like a deserted alley.  if anything happens,  she knows full well that both of them are capable enough to tackle whoever it is  --  especially if it’s that girl who’s only very recently staring at logan.      “   okay then.  i hope she doesn’t,  though.  i’ve no idea what to do when people are freaking out.  it makes me panic.   “      she dusts off her skirt and follows logan to wherever.