People in the 70s would wake up and be like I need to go hitchhiking right now

girls only want one thing and it’s to stop being mentally tortured

me when people act like friends being married at my age is normal

man victorian slang was fucking lethal

*lying on my velvet chaise lounge in my robe and slippers* sorry old chap, but i won't be able to make it out tonight. i'm afraid i've got the morbs.

Now I be like “oh fuck i forgot my mask” like im spiderman or something

jennifer’s body not realistic bc if i had a demon friend who killed dumb ass men for sustenance i would let her like we can work that out

i wish i was one of those girls from classical mythology……. i could just turn into a cypress tree or a crystalline lake and be done with it

Dude what? She tied you to the kitchen chair? Broke your throne & cut your hair? From your lips she drew the..? Broooo