"come on, dance w me. move ur body; relax w me"

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

blasts you with my placebo beam

Oh fuck I think I can feel the effect

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

For me a big part of “sex work is work” is that sex work should be socially viewed as totally legitimate work. I should be able to put sex work on my resume. I should be able to lean on the skills and knowledge I gain in this field and have that experience be respected. Right now I have a gap in my resume. But I’m also consistently doing advertising, social media management, inventory, merchandising, customer service, upselling!!! I’m working self directed, I’m solely responsible for every aspect of my business. I deserve respect, fuck.

@were--ralph

You just hate me because the patterns on my clothes move around like they do on chowder and yours don’t