your basic average boy

[ certain death // accepting ]

📹  for a PRE-RECORDED VIDEO.

chiaki shifted uncomfortably in her seat, fidgeting with the zipper on her hoodie before she looked up at the screen. it was clear she was nervous, as she hesitated to begin speaking. the expression on her face was tight and drawn, uncharacteristically tense.

“…if you’re watching this,” she began, “i’ll assume something’s happened to me.”

for another few seconds, she didn’t seem to know what else to say. she breathed in and out, still trying to steady her nerves.

“…i’ll start with the simplest: i’m the traitor from future foundation. they’re the ones who put you here. i’m on their side.”

yet another breath, but she had to keep going.

“…but we’re not the ones behind the killing game. we did this… to protect you. that’s all i ever wanted… to protect my classmates from hope’s peak academy. you lost your memories, but i didn’t. they’re still here. i remember… everything.”

she glanced at something off screen. her brows furrowed, and the look of sorrow in her eyes turned to one of cold fury. then it was gone again, and she relaxed, leaning back in her chair.

“…i want to tell you more, but i have to play by the rules of her game. i’m sorry. just know that… whatever’s happened, there’s hope. they’re on their way to save you, i’m sure of it. you have to hold out… until then. even without me, you have to keep going.”

a grim smile rose up on her face as she contemplated the screen in front of her. once again her eyes darted off to the side, but she quickly looked back. then she leaned in, her gaze on the center of the screen, locking eyes with her imagined viewer.

“remember there’s never only two choices,” chiaki said. “hinata-kun. we need you. don’t give up… there’s a shining future waiting for you on the other side.”

with that, she sat back again and sighed, running her fingers through her bangs. all of a sudden she looked older, though it could easily have been a trick of the light.

a soft, sad smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “…goodbye,” chiaki stated quietly. “and thank you.”

                                    ( change pronouns, etc. as needed. )

‘ shall we get you a giant toblerone? ‘

‘ i came to apologize for earlier. i bought a big toblerone. ‘

‘ you know what, ( name )? you don’t deserve this big toblerone. ‘

‘ more vibes, please. ‘

‘ we’ll care when they pay us to care. ‘

‘ good thing i brought my vape. ‘

‘ can we just order in? i don’t wanna go outside. ‘

‘ win, lose… we’ll all be equal in the grave. ‘

’ a man with such a pure love for sport would never hang with demons. ‘

‘ she’s possessed? that sucks. ‘

‘ ( name ), i have to go… the snacks are ready. ‘

‘ [ wearing khakis ] my style is not conservative. ‘

‘ what in the name of shakespeare’s ass is going on here? ‘

‘ i don’t have enough energy to process that question. ‘

‘ [on race car drivers] humility would only slow them down. ‘

‘ i’m sorry if i’m disgracing the family, but i’m depressed. ‘

‘ i love being in public when my hair is wet. i feel like a gucci model. ‘

’ god i was shit faced last night but i woke up at seven am and ran five miles. ‘

‘ i’d recognize your shitty voice anywhere. ‘

‘ [ holding a little cocktail in hand, sighing ]  no, I feel no synergy. ‘

‘ i’m withdrawing from the world because the world is total bullshit. ‘

‘ demonic chapel? this is a club. ‘

‘ you’ve designed yourself a beautiful grave, sir. ‘

‘ demon be gone from this chanel suit! ‘ 

‘ i’d invite you but, you know,  it’s outside. enjoy being a shut in! ‘

‘ do i have to? my existential dread is acting up today. ‘

’ my one true love is now living the glamorous life of an investment banker in san francisco. ‘

“ i can see you bitch! you’re wearing a black tuxedo against a midnight-blue sky! and it’s sparklin! ‘

‘ we gotta teach those old money fuckboys a lesson! ‘

‘ two is the loneliest number, ( name ). especially when you’re second to a jackass. ‘

‘ sadly my youthful days have been cut short by a humiliating sequence of social disasters. ‘

‘ karl lagerfield said vanity was the healthiest thing in life. ‘

’ as I expected, just a perfectly normal jewel-encrusted skull. ‘

‘ [when offered squid ink pasta] well… that is the most melancholy pasta. ‘

‘ who cares what time it is when the future is an interminable abyss of wackiness? ‘

’ sorry ( name ) , but i can barely navigate the hellish vortex between breakfast and dinner, let alone the labyrinth of the field hockey field. ‘ 

’ do we have to? i just got some seriously distressing news about my outfit. ‘ 

【 ♫ ɪʙᴜᴋɪ ♫ 】 ———- ✘