frog 🐸

sorry I’m actually still on the port wine. dan and his father in law had such a lovely conversation over cheese, crackers, and wine however long ago that now dan is gifted port wine for his birthday every year. dan and phil have been together long enough that he has annual traditions with his father in law celebrating and commemorating the time they’ve spent together. the catch is dan doesn’t eat cheese and crackers these days because phil doesn’t like cheese so they don’t keep it in the house. he has nothing to pair the wine with because he loves his partner too much. do you see what I’m saying. so now a bottle of port wine sits half drank in their house for most of the year all because his father in law loves him so much and he loves his partner so much. he’s got a silly little problem because he’s stuck between loving and being loved. im going to go lie face first on the concrete and just Wail.

I'm not trying to say this parasocially but with the amount of people I see calling dan and phil's story as proof that soulmates exist (which I mean dan himself referred to phil as his soulmate before I'm sure they feel that way too) I actually see it as proof of the level of genuine love and respect and deliberate commitment it takes to make a relationship longstanding cause jesus christ have they been through more than one couple should be able to withstand if not for them deliberately choosing each other at every turn. like dan going against every single instinct to protect their relationship and phil putting himself back into the closet for close to a decade because they chose each other first and foremost. crazy. crazy. literally what would it feel like to find even a tenth of that

what nonphannies don’t understand is that it isn’t about “knowing” it’s about dnp’s queer joy and comfort level. we’re not happy bc they told us, we’re happy bc they felt comfortable and joyful enough to tell us. “knowing” has a weird power connotation. If you “knew” all along you’re trying to establish power over information that you don’t have authority on, and it takes power away from the people (dnp) telling you the information.