what if you were stranded in the wilderness with the love of your life and your teammates for 9 months. what if you were already willing to die once for even a chance at saving the love of your life and starting a life together. what if you would do anything to protect her, even if it meant literally tying yourself to her while she slept, even if it meant risking your own life again for her. what if you pinned all your hopes on your best friend and tried to believe in something greater. what if you realized that one person you trusted most and placed your faith in, was only human, that she couldnāt save you after all. what if you lost all your hope. what if you questioned your own survival against all odds. what if you felt like you had no purpose. what if the love of your life reminded you of all the times you saved her and told you she still needed you, and what if you internalized that. what if your sole purpose became protecting her.
what if you realized violence was an inevitability of your environment when you watched your best friend and the person you had put on a pedestal allow herself to be beat within an inch of her life. what if you realized in that moment that killing and cannibalism would be unavoidable eventually. what if you were all starving to death. what if something is very wrong again with the love of your life. what if your best friend will die without food. what if you canāt allow them both to die, because youāre supposed to protect them.
what if you know what you have to do no matter how brutal and hard it will be to do it. what if you devise the fairest way possible to decide who dies for the rest of you to live. what if you suppress all your own emotions, and tell everyone it has to be this way, that the wilderness has to decide who dies. you donāt allow yourself to consider what youāll do if she draws the queen, and you donāt have to think about it, because it doesnāt happen. when you have to hunt your friend, you donāt allow yourself to feel, because you canāt. you must see this through, because this is your last option. because faith and trust and hope isnāt working, and you canāt allow the love of your life to starve. when someone innocent dies, you declare that āthe wilderness choseā because itās to late to turn back now. when your facade briefly cracks after, you push your emotions back down, because feelings and emotions and second thoughts wonāt save anyone, they wonāt feed anyone, they wonāt keep her alive. this is what will keep her alive. this is what will allow you to have a future together. so this is who you have to become.
youāve always known you would do anything to protect the love of your life, and now, youāve gone to the dark sideā¦
theartofmadeline
areudirty
origamiaround
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