i have come

Gaze never averts from her, as she spoke, the vampire listened. Ignoring the sound of heartbeat, tuning off his urges and demons within him. It was a task to do so but he tried, oh how he tried. To cling onto the humanity within him. He wasn’t sure if his deal with Klaus would ever end of if he just wanted to keep him for his entertainment. The Ripper. Being treated like circus act, fawned by Klaus because of his potential and extraordinary will to mercilessly kill without wearing his heart on his sleeve. That wasn’t who Stefan was. 

Lips pressed together tightly but a nod followed. Finally, eyes turn downward. Ashamed to look at the brunette. “And then what?” His voice breaks slightly, slowly looking back at her. “Do I just pretend that it never happened? That I didn’t kill those innocent people?” The tone of his voice conveyed desperation. “—I just want to be okay again.” After putting so much work into repairing the damage made through the early 1910s to the 30s. And he knew he couldn’t do it alone. He’d never been alone. Lexi had always been there but she was gone. “I can’t do this alone.” he admitted. But for one hundred and sixty two years, he’s always felt like a burden. There’s a spark of sincerity in his eyes as they meet Elena’s. 

There he was. She could barely make out his features in the dark, only having the light of the moon to show her his outline but she could hear it in his voice. That desperate want. That guilt. They were emotions and he was admitting to them, to their existence. “You can pretend all you want, but it’s not going to help you heal. All those years when you and Damon were fighting, that guilt caught up to you.” And she was the one who brought him out. “You have to choose to keep fighting. Fighting that urge, that guilt, all of it.”

“No reason.” Stefan shakes his head before holding his hand up. “See, it’s fine. I might have thought I sliced it open. It was probably just a scratch.” Elena had every reason to be concerned and he was touched by her worry. However, his wound would seal up quickly and that all would be a waste. “Nothing to worry about.” A small smile curls on his lips, doing his best to pretend as if nothing had happened. 

“Hey, don’t apologize.” The vampire tilts his head as he looks at her, “You care.” he nods. He listens on as she mentions her father being a doctor. “Did you ever want to be a doctor?” he asks before he turns to continue cutting the basil leafs on the cutting board. “Were you ever inspired to be one?”

He emits a sigh when Elena says she doesn’t remember what she was excited about. Afraid that the small accident had killed her mood. As he told his nephew, Zach, he hated lying to her. Not only that but he wasn’t any good at it. It wasn’t like he could flat out tell her, I’m a 160+ year old vampire but don’t be scared. How does one go by with saying that? “Are you sure?” he asks, “You sounded really excited.” 

A weight should be lifted off her chest. He’s fine. She doesn’t even see a drop of blood or the thin bloody line from a scratch. But the weight just got heavier. Something just seems off. She swore she saw the blade touch his skin and even a wince upon his face. She’s too perceptive for her own good.

It was easier to talk about her dad, her dead dad than to think about all the lines that just aren’t connecting when it comes to Stefan. “When I was little, when I was six or something. You know, when everyone is dreaming of being the president or astronauts.” She peaked up at Stefan, “But then I caught the writing bug from my mom. It was something we did together. It’s when she gave me my diary.” Teeth worry on her bottom lip. That’s the most she’s managed to think about them in months. It was easier to just ignore and move on. That’s what the town was doing and they were expecting her and her brother to do the same. The slack had been cut off since the first bell ring of the school year.

@atlantisqueen