Feelings & Shenanigans

I’m in pain. My chest hurts.

My heart hurts too.

Why? Where did it go wrong? How did it come to this? These questions that I ask,

I know I won’t get answers to in the state that I am

My chest hurts My head feels like it wants to spin but it is having pity on me Reasoning fails me, I’m filled with emotions that want to escape My emotions too even in this state want to take care of me My chest…

This post was prompted by a story from a friend under the same title. here is a link to her story…

https://thehavensocial.wordpress.com/2020/07/11/being-female/

And now back to mine…

Sex is a powerful motivator for men. It has been a source of oppression, a tool for subjugation and manipulation. I may not know exactly how it started but it has always been a part of culture. Closely linked to…

My first instinct is always to scoop you in my arms when you stand infront of me You are like ice cream to me And we both love ice cream, that means we both love you Though it wasn’t always like that There was a time you didn’t like ice cream that much; you didn’t have self-love that much A time where I ate the ice cream too hurriedly; I didn’t take enough time to know you, all of you, in your…

My first instinct is to always scoop you in my arms when I see you, like a new lover

I want to bury my face in your neck so I can remember the scent of you, like an old lover

I want to take you on long walks, where we ask the stars to tell us our future, like a dreamy lover

I want to read to you and take you on picnics, like an old-fashioned lover

I want to make love to your body and rock you…

You can be cornered in alleyways . There’s clearly a lack of discipline or improper planning because look at all these cars parked on the road’s shoulder. Unrequited infatuation will always feel like a pack on the shoulder. One way streets are only for things like service to God or self preservation, once set on, there should not be anything that gives you the idea of crossing over so u can go…

I thought I was a sucker for love but how did it turn out I am a sucker for you? I thought i only step in the name of love but why do I run to you and for you? I love love but with you it’s more than convenient like what the sun has with the moon

Because one don’t reflect the other

We shine in our own right like we are lit forever And my prayer is I never try to become a fool to try and contain…

My eyes fluttered open and my brain went on overdrive as it tried to process the possibility of missing another church service from the event that the person who I was expecting to wake me up to get ready for church may have already left.

I grabbed my phone, checked the time and it said 7:20. I knew I had been left behind but I didn’t want to believe it. I called out to S, the only other person…

I was afraid her presence was going to make her absence painful Like moth to flame, this attraction was fatal as it was powerful She had me thinking, ‘I got you as long as you got me’ I wish the way she smiled would find a voice so she could croon these words I love how she looked like hip-hop meets renaissance art I like how she wears her hair, almost like Rocky without his weak strokes this…

We sat on the top step She looking like a bad bish I, a dude with bad fashion sense ‘i’m sad’ I would not have thought that hot girls get sad, first off I would have thought she only needed to throw that ass back and release some oxytocin, worse off I’m a moron She told me about the passing of her friend How the thought of not seeing them again kinda didn’t make sense, dust off ‘blow the smoke in…

I have tried to write about my 2019 and come up with nothing.

The range of things to talk about being wide and deep maybe I was scared. My brain will take the littlest excuse to have a block.

But I was doing some reflection and then I realized that one thing that characterized greatly my 2019 was a war with my natural urges, which I fed instead of starving. The consequences that followed were not…

I have loved and lost.

One of the arguably apt analogies for love is that it’s a game. Set aside the incomprehensible and reckless love of God for humanity and the stuck-with-you love we have for our family, any other form of love precariously falls into this set.

I have come to view this paradigm of love even as a necessity because it is pragmatic. Let’s not get it twisted, love is a big deal…

Constantly swinging hard between feeling lonely, being needy and being unfeeling, saying a fuck you to everybody. These swings are unhealthy. The oscillation of such strong emotions in me sometimes be draining me. Not even the small stability I found in a job does anything to help. Not even gonna lie, it borders on depression. I need someone to talk to at every point in time but people are not…

YES RETREAT YES SURRENDER

Sometimes I think I am not really introverted, just depressed or having low self-esteem or feeling out of place or a combination of all three. Sometimes I know I am really introverted, like all this talk and forcing to be nice is turning into an emotional blackhole and draining me and I will have the urge to tap out and be alone with my thoughts.

You are bound to find me in two ways at any social…

In an economy, where we want so many things but lack enough money… In a world, where there is too much to do and too little time… In a life, where we want to be so much more and yet too much distractions messing with our focus, there is a need to be constantly and resiliently creative inside of yourself to deal with the mess that is outside of your locus of control and yet affects us.

There is a…

The sky at night

The sky at night is a picture of you –

Misunderstood, readily portrayed as negative but negative space makes for the best of designs

Ask designers. In fact ask the best designer, ask God.

So when I look at the sky at night I see limitless potential and chaotic peace there are full blown contradictions and literal metaphors

A canvass waiting to be painted on The sky at night is colourful the sky at…

Here I was thinking I could rest and just get ready for the week, but no I had to pitch in to send pictures to Sked’s very persistent client. He came home an hour after I did with “I dey weg you send the pics, I no fit do am” pouring from his lips. Have you known a pc-less and phoneless photographer before? Yeah, we this! Not one o but two. Unapologetic. Unashamed. To get the client off our backs…

Some people inspire me in some ways that I can’t explain. The kind of fires they kindle in me burn away sloth, cowardice and fear. These people are megaminds and superstar celebrities in my life story. What is more interesting is the diversity of experience and backgrounds of all of them.  I come off lengthy conversations from them feeling so badass and invincible. Other times I feel so peaceful…