vice president of the penelope bunce fanclub @ebbpettier - Tumblr Blog

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helenvaughans

#I AIM TO CAPTURE THIS ABOUT HUMAN SOCIETY. IN THE HASSIAN FIC #hassian is like your technology was so insane and advanced. kilima must look like a backwater to you. do you look down on us #and leandrus is like buddy one of our primary forms of entertainment was watching people go very fast using volatile and unstable magic #and many who went to those events were like. secretly hoping that the racers would die in grisly splattering upsetting ways while doing it #flow charioteering (ancient nascar) is my best headcanon. ask me about it #a society that invents immortality also devalues the impact of death and in this essay i w

i can be trusted to name a boat.

see

#yes its a vagina dentata pun. YES its also deeply thematically serious. many-toothed fortune.#when ur a gambler and an adrenaline junkie and a sorcerer running from the law and living on the fringes of society trying your luck #risking your life and longing for your luck to turn because it feels like everybody always gets dealt a winning hand EVENTUALLY #everyone but you that is #and also. ☝️ yoiu are a silly little guy who giggles when people say theyre abreast of something

saxifraga-x-urbium

Boris "professional idiot" Johnson wanted to build an island airport in the immediate area.

it's fucking visible

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It is fun to learn.

therealraewest

Hey what the fuck

You weren't kidding they've been trying to get the masts off for 5 years and keep getting foiled because there's probably bombs leaking out of her

angeluslupus

Fun fact: Doxing myself but I live in the blast zone if that thing ever goes up! It's even immortalised in a local artwork:

#oh i have GOT to bring this up in the mermaid fic #baz is a car guy (boat merman) he would so know about this thing #i bet its like mermaid yellowstone

frankly the primary drive to write my current fic (hassian paliagame, inadvisable uses of lathed amethysts) is that ive exhausted his smut tag on AO3 and it's a lovely genre. but it isnt My genre. ive got to inflict this on someone or i'll die.

#the recurring problem ive encountered is #HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT. OR KNOW HOW TO USE HIS JUNK LIKE THAT. or frankly even his tongue i think.#all the fics are of characters who canonically Do Not Fuck Before Marriage being hot daddy doms who dirty talk well and Have Skills #and while i respect this is a feature of the genre (ill die side by side with a friend etc)#this is not my trot i think. i need that fucking turbovirgin to Fumble. my cake is not at the table and i must bake. reth we have to cook.#he cant even say he likes me without deflecting (poorly) about yogurt. i cant see him being all WHO DO YOU BELONG TO #if anything its the other way around. i know what u are. (sub bottom)#hes not 50 shades of purple hes the princess bride. he would not be good at sex like that.#del/lat

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nctinmotion

Source: This

brindlefern-deactivated20210619

xcziel

cellophanes-princess

I really needed the last one

#i havent finished any of my snowbaz fics im sorry #its because im writing about hassian paliagame getting his strap sucked

sailatina3

Orgasm denial. Orgasm anger. Orgasm bargaining. Orgasm depression. Orgasm acceptance.

#snowbaz #<- prev you are always SO right

pennixie, conversely, is just that "you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up" "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" post and in this essay i w

#like heres the thing. they do not get along. they do not like each other.#but there is something to be said about someone who fucking explosively matches both your freak and your intellect #i think trixie the pixie is a genius held back only by what a superstitious histrionic mess she is at all times #'no reason' from beetlejuice the musical but like its a romantic hateduet. do u understand #trixie: I FOUND MY FREQUENCY. CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME #penny: what are they saying #trixie: BUY MORE CRYSTALS #the thing about having a nemesis is that you're perfectly matched. and you think about them constantly.#penelope is in deep denial that trixie is attractive #trixie openly announces that penelope would be the most singularly fuckable girl in the world if her citations werent INVALID

did u miss her fiona. she missed u.

#the petty twins can have a little bit of a butt chin. as a treat. its better than the mage's #nicodemus petty #fiona pitch #fiodemus #im torn between nicodemeia bc its as ridiculous a name as ebbeneeza #and he/him butch still named nicodemus. of course u have blonde hair and pronouns #carry on #ignore how wretched the painting is on this i did it on the corner of a larger piece #the pen is mightier

i know that niamh/agatha is the primary yuri in this fandom, and i do love them dearly. but pennixie and butch-nicodemus-fiodemus are right there and im

#THE LESBIAN FARM DOMESTICITY IS ALSO GOOD. DONT GET ME WRONG #by god agatha fucking deserves that so much #BUT. A HEEM HEEM HEEEEEMMMM #nickles my dear. you love it when a woman threatens your wellbeing and means it. nsfw but you wanna trib on her combat boot sooooo bad #fiodemus

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butch lesbian nicodemus petty probably still dresses like a sleazy used car salesman but here is the thing. its hot and cool when women do that.

#WITH THE SLICKED BACK BOB HAIR AND THE OPEN SHIRT AND THE CHINTZY WATCH. no bra milf cleavage feat. a big gaudy gold chain is SUCH a look #she sits like she fucking owns the place. she doesnt even own a bedframe lmao. shes got a bridge in brooklyn to sell you. its so trashy.#and baby if that woman is trash then fiona's a hungry little raccoon #i could be convinced to read a detective noir book if it was grizzled futch lady detective fiona #shaking down nicodemus 'Miss Rat Bastard' petty for info on her boss. they have a past. nickles is smalltime now but. remember budapest?#im sorry but i just love them

hard-times-paramore

Okay, real talk now. People love to tag male characters in posts about women, but this post is gonna take this seriously. Is there actually a canonically male character you believe is a trans woman? Or at least has made into a trans woman for a fanart or a fanfic? Excluding the ones canonically implied.

Sound off in the tags! Link to the fanart or fic if available. Do it. Give me the girls. Make more women.

#I KNOW NOBODY WILL DIE ON THIS HILL BESIDE ME BUT IM NOT KIDDING #BUTCH4FUTCH FIODEMUS COULD SAVE US #estrogen could sure save her lmao #babe vampirism was not the answer i think you legitimately just needed to transition #nicodemus petty literally chose vampirism. wand got snapped. WRITTEN OUT OF THE RECORD #as if ebb never had a fucking sibling at all. not even allowed to talk. no mentions in the yearbooks. just fucking erased.#thats just what happens when you transition in the midwest USA i think. with extra steps and conditional immortality #fiodemus toxic yuri :(#saveme firodemus toxcic yuri :(((#also that throwaway line about balding in the 3rd book. i know a couple gals from work that would probably vibe hard with that #i wish we'd seen more of nicodemus petty

snakebites-and-ink

Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag

#simon snow

insecuregodcomplex

lesbianboyfriend

[tweet reading: Everything I say is a joke Unless you agree And in that case Speak to me privately I have even crazier ideas /end ID]

everybody hold on a second my friend just got me a fuckin three-wolf-moon poster signed by tj klune

#this is all im gonna THINK ABOUT for WEEKS #apparently he was delighted by three wolf moon #my friends a librarian and he went to a big book convention in his state today and he was like do you want something signed #and i couldnt mail him my book fast enough so i was like wait. what would be the funniest option #APPARENTLY MR KLUNE LOVED IT #IM GONNA FRAME IT ON MY WALL AAAAAA #del/lat #THREE WOLF MOOOOOOON

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tamala paliagame and fiona pitch should kiss with tongue. nicodemus may sit in the chair if he's polite and quiet.

#holding tamala like a beloved barbie and making her walk in circles insulting everyone around her. <3 theres so much wrong with you #get worse <3 #ohhh my god you suck so bad <3 my beautiful angel with every personality disorderrrr #say more horrifying shit while i kick my legs like we are at a sleepover girl #im gay but if she tells me to do something what am i to say except YES MA'AM RIGHT AWAY MA'AM

did tamala just say i have a nice ass

#shes my shep and i have her at 4 levels of friendship but zero levels of romance idk if shes just like that #but apparently i have. to quote. such a nice backside to watch.#thank u madame

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vice president of the penelope bunce fanclub